The problem with giving an honest answer.

hollydolly said:
I know this lady is a very good friend and neighbour to you, because you mention her often.. so in your circumstance I would have said exactly the same thing. I'm very blunt anyway, I call spade a shovel most of the time, because I think it's unfair to lie or deceive someone if they ask for your opinion, particularly in something as important as taking care of a helpless animal..
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In my heart I agree with both you and Tim, but a life time of being a manager has taught me that diplomacy and tact is the way to go. Did you know Tim that you can foster a dog, or any other pet, if the owner lives alone and, for example, has health issues? It's a way of keeping a pet in your life without the long term concern of the pet outliving you.

What you could do now, to retrieve what seems to be an enjoyable friendship, is to send her a text or put a note through her door, telling her that you did so enjoy your lunch together, then add: "Let's do it again." Offer to treat her at a local hostelry, be it pub, cafe or restaurant. Just say: "My treat." And don't forget to add that infectious Timoc smile, it works wonders.
 

Tim...she was the one who put you in an awkward situation. I may have used less words but told her similar to what you said. Somewhere between @hearlady's response and yours, if that makes sense. That she would assume you would walk the dog for her at times was absolutely too presumptuous. Perhaps she'll think about what transpired and make amends with you. You certainly don't have anything to make amends about. @Sliverfox Even old dogs need to be walked. What happens when bad weather comes. She'd probably want Tim to walk the dog on those days. :cautious:
 
@timoc The only thing you are guilty of is being honest, had you not been truthful she likely would have taken it that you were happy to help out walking and caring for the puppy. Your friend will get over it and, if she doesn't, at least you won't have to be hiding from her when she's knocking on your door wanting you to take her pup for a walk or expecting you to step in because she needs a dog sitter. :)
 
Here's an update for all of you good friends....😊

The summer of 2021 I bought a Chinese Witch Hazel plant and straight away put it into a bigger pot, but this summer I carefully split the plant into two. They both thrived.

Today, acting like nothing had happened, I took one of the plants over the road to the lovely lady, she looked at it and a big smile grew on her face.
She put the plant on the window-cill, turned around, gave me a big hug and kissed my cheek and said, "I'm sorry I was such a cow, Tim."
I responded by saying, "That's OK, I happen to like cows."
She then gave me a playful punch in the arm, I'm glad it wasn't on my nose, she would have knocked me out. 😊

So, peace and calm has returned. 😊
 
timoc said:
Here's an update for all of you good friends....😊

The summer of 2021 I bought a Chinese Witch Hazel plant and straight away put it into a bigger pot, but this summer I carefully split the plant into two. They both thrived.

Today, acting like nothing had happened, I took one of the plants over the road to the lovely lady, she looked at it and a big smile grew on her face.
She put the plant on the window-cill, turned around, gave me a big hug and kissed my cheek and said, "I'm sorry I was such a cow, Tim."
I responded by saying, "That's OK, I happen to like cows."
She then gave me a playful punch in the arm, I'm glad it wasn't on my nose, she would have knocked me out. 😊

So, peace and calm has returned. 😊
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Sounds like you have found a lovely playmate Tim. It could get romantic, maybe not, but friendship is the perfect answer to solitude. My former late boss would often say: "The more I get to know people, the more I love my dog." Sometimes I can resonate with that, but when the wife of a dear friend, (she's a friend too,) when she embraces me with a warm hug, kisses my cheek as close to my lips as decorum permits, tells me that I am a cherished friend, I can love and accept the foibles as the lady accepts mine. For what it's worth, I hold her husband's cherished friendship very close, he really is a great friend.

Enjoy her company Tim, it's much more real than all the members here. Yes they are real, all of them, good honest people, but we are not in your life the way she is, that doesn't mean though that you can't tell us how things progress. I shall be taking notes.
 
This thread makes me remember a promotion interview I had at the Post Office. I answered a question with a question: "Do you want to hear what I know you want to hear for me to get promoted or do you want the truth?" They wanted the truth. Remember a "Few Good Men"? "You can't handle the truth!" So, I told the truth and sure enough they couldn't handle it. I didn't get promoted (thank Goodness).
 
timoc said:
Here's an update for all of you good friends....😊

The summer of 2021 I bought a Chinese Witch Hazel plant and straight away put it into a bigger pot, but this summer I carefully split the plant into two. They both thrived.

Today, acting like nothing had happened, I took one of the plants over the road to the lovely lady, she looked at it and a big smile grew on her face.
She put the plant on the window-cill, turned around, gave me a big hug and kissed my cheek and said, "I'm sorry I was such a cow, Tim."
I responded by saying, "That's OK, I happen to like cows."
She then gave me a playful punch in the arm, I'm glad it wasn't on my nose, she would have knocked me out. 😊

So, peace and calm has returned. 😊
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While reading through the posts I intended to suggest something similar but you have already done it. Good. I blame the alcohol on being too honest. I've done the same to a boss during a Christmas party. Apparently he understood and I was not let go.
 
Turns out honesty was the best way to answer. . His wit is ever present but in this post of his he did show this was probably more about timoc being sensitive to the lady than. As they say in Australia

Good on ya
 
have had dogs... big goofy ones... for most of my life. when last one (90 lb dobie) got sick... very suddenly & unexpectedly... it became quickly/painfully obvious that i couldn't physically deal with a BIG dog any more on my own.

when i was ready for a new companion, i went to county animal shelter. small, young dogs were adopted in no time. there were lots of large dogs... sad, OLD fur-babies and pitts & rottweilers.

i walked into the cat room and a kitten claimed ME!
 
timoc said:
Here's an update for all of you good friends....😊
Today, acting like nothing had happened, I took one of the plants over the road to the lovely lady, (break) gave me a big hug (break), "I'm sorry I was such a cow, Tim." I responded by saying, "That's OK, I happen to like cows."
She then gave me a playful punch in the arm, I'm glad it wasn't on my nose, she would have knocked me out. 😊

So, peace and calm has returned. 😊
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Aye, you can't go wrong with cows can you! :)
 
timoc said:
....the lovely hostess just happened to mention that she was thinking of getting a puppy, "What do you think, Tim, give me your honest opinion", she asked, and would I be available to take her new friend for 'walkies'.
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Don't feel at all bad, you were honest, but quite frankly I don't think the lady was. She didn't actually 'want' honesty, she wanted you to say what she wanted to hear. I think you were set up.
 
Tim, she asked for your honest opinion. I would have given it at the time she mention you giving the pup a walk. Its her puppy. She is acting like others will step in and help should she make a poor choice. I admire your ability to give her your honest opinion. Hopefully she will think about what you said and not expect you to bail her out. She is laying a big responsibility onto you about walking her dog. Dont fall for a little lady needing this kind of help.

I had a friend volunteer me for donating three specific paintings to create and donate so her grandson can have a good fund raising amount collected. I told her I dont do volunteer work for other peoples grandchildren. Dont ever volunteer me ever again. She got the message. There is a line not to cross no matter how old a person is.

Stick by your position. Dont worry. She'll get over it or she won't. Thats up to her.
 
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