The question that quietly follows us into our senior years.

Do you plan? I did, yes.

Do you drift? When things didn't go according to plan, I did.

Do you follow impulses? Do you set goals? I follow my impulses when it looks like a good way to meet my goals.

Or do you just let life unfold and adjust as you go? Life simply unfolds, and I'm always prepared to adjust if necessary.

What do you want your days on earth to say about who you are, or does it even matter? It doesn't matter. Aside from a small handful of people, nobody cares about my days on earth or who I am. Why should they? And the small handful of people who do care, only care as it relates to them and their time here, which is totally normal and acceptable.

I think only my children are a tangible clue to who I am. If people who meet them are very impressed by them for any number of reasons, they might think to themselves "Somebody raised that kid right."
 
When I was preparing to retire after 37 years with the state police, my supervisor came to me and asked if I would be interested in helping at the Academy. I said sure, but we need to have a discussion first. After we spoke, I took a few days and decided I would like to do it. I knew it was going to be a commitment and I prepared for it.

I no longer have the position, but I gave back 4 years to help our Cadets get off to a good start.
 
Not too long ago, my son observed, "You know, you are surprisingly busy for someone who doesn't have a job or go to school."
And it's true, my days are pretty full, but happily, with dog walks, exercises, yoga, meditation, relaxed cooking, hobbies and time with people I love.

I know how blessed I am in this and am very, very grateful for it.
 
When I was first retired 14 years ago, I was married and we did a lot of traveling. I have been on my own for the past five years and have went to Europe twice to see the remaining sights that I wanted to see. I’ve also traveled much of the United States.

My youngest son lives in Vietnam and would like me to visit, but the air quality is very bad and I have asthma so that won’t be possible. He does come home to visit me once a year.

I fill my time with part-time consulting, some volunteer work, friends, and walking my dogs. I noticed as I will turn 72 in a few months that I do not have the stamina that I had five years ago. That may be one reason that I’m not as interested in traveling as I was. Plus, I’ve gotten to find air travel really miserable for a variety of reasons.
 
I feel like I am just drifting now after the loss of my husband. But after reading what you all have written,I realize that I am busier than I thought I was! Maybe even busier than when my husband was here.
Last week I realized that I had put 2,000 miles on my car in 2 weeks! We had a new greatgrandbaby and I was back and forth 45 to 60 miles over the mountain for that. Also 2 baby showers-one for that one(mom barely made it-was released from hospital that morning after having pneumonia and ketoacidosis,she has Type 1 diabetes,then had baby 6 days later.) Another greatgranddaughter due in 3 weeks.
Then there was my late BIL'S Celebration of Life (he passed back in October)which was 3 hours away. And treatment which is 45 minutes away. And Lord knows where else I went. It's just been go,go,go. Keeps me occupied though...
 
I have been retired now for just a couple of years shy of 30 years. At 83 years I calculate that I have maybe 5 years of active life left, more if I am lucky.

Hubby and I had a philosophy of doing things as the opportunity arose and we saved our pennies and did a lot of travelling at home and abroad. Without him I have no desire to travel again unless it is to visit my son in Albury or my sister in Queensland.

What I have done is decide that I will spend my remaining years being useful to others. My house now provides a home for my daughter, her daughter and the boyfriend, as well an elderly cat and 4 slightly senile fluffy French hens. So that is one way that I am of use, but I am also useful in the community that is my local church.

I serve as a steward on Sundays, run a social group for older women on Tuesday afternoons and help out in the church community garden on Friday mornings. I make it my business to be an encourager of the younger members who are now taking care of the building, attending church council meetings and managing the finances. These were all tasks that I have done in the past and it is important that I offer positive encouragement rather than criticisms.

I am now great grandmother to three small children. I have six grandchildren. I offer each one my love, and occasionally some financial help.

I think the next five years of my life will be very rewarding and if I am granted more, I will be a very lucky woman indeed.
 
Pepper said:
I don’t want to have so much pain and discomfort. I want the energy I had when I would pick up my grandson from school on Wednesdays again.

Will happily give up most things to be able to walk without pain. Want to go out and take a walk and read a book sitting on park bench in the warm sun.

I want so little now. Am dependent on the stress of poor health. Want to be stronger. Have some stamina. Health.

Conversely I want to smoke a cigarette. More than one.

Please? That’s all I ask. That’s all I need.
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doin't you take anti-pain tabs? and at our age smoking ? - do it but try not to inhale - pipes are best for that!
 
bobcat said:
I’ve been thinking lately about a deceptively simple question:
What do you want to do with the rest of your life?
It sounds like something we should all have figured out by now, but I think many people don’t — and maybe that’s because the question is bigger than it appears. None of us knows whether we have one more day, one more decade, or thirty more years. So how do you prioritize anything when the timeline is a mystery?

People often say, “Just make the most of each day.” Nice sentiment - but what does that actually look like in real life? For some, it might mean travel or adventure. For others, it might mean peace, routine, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning sun. And of course, we all have limitations: money, health, responsibilities, energy levels. Acceptance of our situation in life could mean giving up on dreams, or it could mean we just need to adjust expectations and create a new formula for inner peace or happiness. But within the circumstances we do have, I wonder how many of us have really sat down and asked: "What do I genuinely want — and what can I still make happen?"

Not the big bucket-list fantasies necessarily, but the realistic, meaningful things that would make our days feel more personally satisfying. Is it learning something new? Repairing a relationship? Letting go of something heavy? Spending more time in nature, or more time with family? Creating something? Leaving a legacy?
Or maybe finally giving yourself permission to stop doing things you just don’t enjoy.

Living on auto-pilot is easier, but will it give you what you desire in the end? What about settling on the idea of “micro‑dreams”. Not everything has to be a grand plan. A micro‑dream might be reading more mysteries, gardening, reconnecting with an old hobby, taking a day trip once a month. Small things can add up to a meaningful life. On the other hand, the second half of life might be less about adding things and more about releasing things — expectations, grudges, old identities. Life has seasons.

I’m curious how others think about this. Do you plan? Do you drift? Do you follow impulses? Do you set goals? Or do you just let life unfold and adjust as you go? What do you want your days on earth to say about who you are, or does it even matter? I’d love to hear how you approach the idea of “the rest of your life,” whatever that means to you. Do you feel you’re living the life you want, or the life that happened to you?
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I have been thinking so much about this very thing. DH's death has put me into a perpetual fight or flight mode.
I'm settling down but feel I need to have a plan.

I suppose right now security is first in the plan. All accounts, bills, electronics are being looked at and locked down so I feel in control of them and not so vulnerable

Next is cleaning out. The plan being to have a choice to move if needed.

Only needed home repairs at this point. Again, in case of a move I don't want to put a lot of money in this house.

From there, who knows? I'm in good health so far. My mind still works. I think I just want to enjoy a secure and pleasurable life wherever I end up. The Simple Life for Me is the plan.
 
hearlady said:
I have been thinking so much about this very thing. DH's death has put me into a perpetual fight or flight mode.
I'm settling down but feel I need to have a plan.

I suppose right now security is first in the plan. All accounts, bills, electronics are being looked at and locked down so I feel in control of them and not so vulnerable

Next is cleaning out. The plan being to have a choice to move if needed.

Only needed home repairs at this point. Again, in case of a move I don't want to put a lot of money in this house.

From there, who knows? I'm in good health so far. My mind still works. I think I just want to enjoy a secure and pleasurable life wherever I end up. The Simple Life for Me is the plan.
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Yes, there can be multiple ways to go, and I think one could find flaws in any of them. They won't be perfect.
1. You could stay where you are and just try to minimize expenses, but will you be able to take care of the house and age in place with home healthcare.
2. You could perhaps rent out a room (Like to traveling nurses), and use that revenue to offset expenses.
3. You could sell the house, and buy something much smaller, or a senior apartment (But is it wise to sit on useable equity till you're gone).
4. You could take the proceeds from your home (Minus RE fees), and put the money in High Yield savings or Money Markets and earn 4% which would help towards renting something, and if you need more than the interest, just take what you need from the principle.
5. You could do the same as #4, but buy a MH in a senior park, and just use the rest of the profit from your house sale for space rent.
6. You could do a reverse mortgage, but you will still be required to maintain the house.
I'm sure there are more, and all may have some downside, so you need to find the one that fits your need and makes sense.
 
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