The secret to a happy marriage is,....

grahamg said:
You know how I admire anyone who has enjoyed a long and happy marriage, but can I suggest your repeating the word "Respect" three times for emphasis maybe isn't the whole story so far as a happy marriage goes, (obviously by mentioning other aspects you dont mean to say it is, though you'll understand why I raise the issue in a moment I hope).
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No, it is not the whole story, but a very big part of the story. Many couples when they get used to each other over the years, they take each other for granted. Sometimes the respect aspect goes out of the window and I feel, it should not. I would go so far as to say, respect is maybe one of the most important things in a relationship. My husband and I never lose respect for each other.
 

The secret to a happy marriage is ........​


From a man's perspective ......
A man must have an obedient nature and very well tuned and functioning ears.

From a woman's perspective ......
A man must have an obedient nature and very well tuned and functioning ears.

I'm sure that some of the very nice members here will take me to task over my posting, and, if you are one and also a lady..........I'm listening.....honest. 😊
 
What does it take to have a happy marriage? My first thought was, "You'll have to ask someone who's not married because they are the only ones who think they have it figured out." After 51 years of marriage, my wife and I sure don't. At this point in our "struggles", I have concluded that I just need to focus on my continured attempts to be loving, faithful, uplifting and try to be a part of her emotional healing. I have no control over the choices that are her responsibility to make. Not intending to be preachy here, but my conclusion is that it is absolutely a divine miracle if/when two people can live together in an intimate life partnership and make it work.
 
TooMuchMuktuk said:
What does it take to have a happy marriage? My first thought was, "You'll have to ask someone who's not married because they are the only ones who think they have it figured out." After 51 years of marriage, my wife and I sure don't. At this point in our "struggles", I have concluded that I just need to focus on my continured attempts to be loving, faithful, uplifting and try to be a part of her emotional healing. I have no control over the choices that are her responsibility to make. Not intending to be preachy here, but my conclusion is that it is absolutely a divine miracle if/when two people can live together in an intimate life partnership and make it work.
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I agree. My husband has made (continuing) bad choices and I have to keep reminding myself that he's an adult and I'm NOT his mother! Communication on certain issues becomes impossible after awhile.
 
palides2021 said:
A marriage is a package deal. It includes the good and the bad. The good needs to outweigh the bad. When there are arguments, each person must remember that this is just a tiny part of the relationship, and to take the time to resolve it before moving on so it doesn't weigh on their shoulders. In arguments, never focus on blaming the other person, but focus on it's effect on you. I am sure if you say you are hurting, your spouse will feel for you. In many respects, communication is the key. Understanding yourself is also important.

Find the time to spend quality time with your loved one - do something you both like to do - go to a restaurant, play tennis, see a movie, go shopping, have coffee, visit flea markets, work on home projects together, whatever it is, do it together.

Every so often, tell your loved one how you feel about them - are they attractive? Tell them so. Are they kind, or generous, or loving? Tell them so. It really goes a long way when you focus on their good points.
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Agree with most of this. Especially knowing oneself, and verbalizing your feelings.

But being a person who thrives in solitude yet is 100% present when with others and giving thought/care to their needs--i need alone time, me time. My first DH was only SO and one of a handful of people who have understood this about me, probably because he liked to be alone a lot. We did some things separately and could give each other 'space' even if in the same room (usually reading). But there were too many other issues, including his alcoholism, which bothered me more once the boys were born.
 
We've been married 35 years and are very happy together.

I try to be courteous at all times, as does my wife. And we have coffee together, first thing in the morning, for about 45 minutes or an hour. If there's anything going on, we talk about it.

Not sure if I have any other suggestions.
 
What the stars have to say about a happy marriage, (not a section of society one normally associates with particularly stable marriages):
https://www.vogue.com/article/celebrities-married-to-normal-people-jennifer-lawrence-cooke-maroney

Quote:
"“I got lucky," Matt Damon once said of his bride, Luciana Barroso. “I fell in love with a civilian.” Sure, it’s sweet to think that opposites attract, but the likelihood of a Hollywood star and an average Joe (or Jane!) getting together seems like a better fit for a story that unfolds on the big screen—which makes the times that it does happen all the more romantic. For proof that there’s plenty of love to be found beyond the limelight, here we’re taking a look at 17 couples who demonstrate that love knows no star power (or lack thereof)."
 
What W.C. Fields had to say on the subject of marriage:
https://famousclowns.org/w-c-fields/funny-quotes-on-marriage-by-w-c-fields/

  • I was married once, in San Francisco. I haven’t seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire of 1907 destroyed the marriage certificate. There’s no legal proof. Which proves that all earthquakes can’t be bad.
  • I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as its around the woman’s neck.
  • Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways.
  • In marriage a man must give up many of his old and pleasant habits, even if it means giving up the woman he married.
  • Always have a woman sign a prenuptial agreement that if she leaves your bed and board, she takes off with as little cash as possible.
  • Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.
  • Marriage is better than leprosy because its easier to get rid of.
  • Never trust your wife behind your back, even if she claims she only wants to wash or scratch it.
 
Growing together, and finding the acceptance in the fact that you both will change in some ways...
We have had a few rough patches over the 37 years but our relationship is about the best its ever been..
Hope it stays this way with the huge change of me retiring....
 
squatting dog said:
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If you can make a team you're on a winner aren't you, sometimes they're equal perhaps, sometimes one may rely on the other leading perhaps, because strengths can't always be the same in every sphere of life can they, (all this is "so I'm told" or "what I've observed", rather then what I managed to achieve).
 

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