The Stupendous (And Pathetic) Mobile Home Tour of 2013

S

SifuPhil

R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
Location
Pennsylvania, USA
Since I've been thinking lately of mobile homes, mainly in Florida, and I have been accused of slighting Missourians as to their collective intelligence (oops - I mean, "how smart the peeple are"), I thought I would combine the two threads and start The Stupendous (And Pathetic) Mobile Home Tour of 2013. I plan to find the most dilapidated, beat-up, run-down mobile home in every state and post it here, along with my commentary.

For my source material I will be using Craigslist, eBay, Zillow (real estate site) and any and all realtor sites I can find.

For my first entry, I have found this beautiful 5 bedroom, 2 bath double-wide in Wilmer, Alabama. Wilmer is an "unincorporated community" in Mobile county (how apropos!) and is located within spitting distance of the Gulf of Mexico, with a population of around 11,000 souls.


wilmer al.jpg

The only information included in this Craigslist listing is that the asking price is $4,000USD and the price includes 2 acres of land.

The burn-barrel in front and the rickety old wooden stairs probably tell all you need to know about this gem, but if you need an isolated spot with a few bedrooms and bathrooms to bring your victims, this might just be what you're looking for.

5br 2ba double wide trailer
 

Hey, watch it there, fellow - I'm in MO. And I told hubby I want a burning barrel....:p

I could find quite a few of those little mobile homes right in this area......we'uns in these here parts live simple, don't cha know. ;) :cheers:
 
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Here's an abandoned looker from New Kent County, Virginia ... no other info available, but the posting claims there are many of these in the neighborhood ...

trash trailer VA.jpg
 
"Tidy Fixer-upper for the DIY handyman, or a well priced property for entry into the investment market.
Clean architectural lines with rustic appeal, offering an ideal opportunity to stamp your own style on the landscaping.
Large patio for relaxed outdoor living. Set in natural surroundings, with views!
Don't hesitate, this will sell fast!"

 
You must have been a realtor! :D

Translation for the Not-So-Gullible -

"Dinky Money-Pit for the self-appointed, delusional "handyman", or an over-priced property for entry into the absentee slumlord market.

Green, moldy architectural lines with rusting and peeling, offering an idiot the opportunity to stomp around in their own backed-up septic tank buried under the landscaping.

Large (3'x6') fake-brick "patio" for pole-axe outdoor skinning. No steps to worry about! Set in abandoned surroundings, with views of the former nuclear plant!

Don't hesitate, this will sell fast to the first jerk with more money than brains!"
 
Today's entry hails from Candlelight Community in Coal Valley, Illinois. 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, "needs some work".

I was so impressed with this unit, especially given the fact that the asking price is only $1,000USD, that I wanted to give you the nickel tour and point out some of its charming features.

First, a few exterior "establishing" shots, as they call them in Hollywood, to give you an idea of the unrecognized beauty of this trailer -

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As you can clearly see from these photos, only a little paint is needed on the outside.

Now let's move on to the interior -

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The kitchen - just a little dab of Elmer's glue for the drawer and cabinets fronts and we'll be good to go!

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The living room - a comfy, well-loved sofa is the centerpiece in this large living room. Overhead fans, real simulated wood trim and exotic-design wallpaper complete the scene in this idyllic retreat.

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Here's an un-advertised bonus - the Ectoplasm Room! Bathed in a soothing light-purple color scheme, the Ectoplasm Room is the site of unexplained and uninvestigated occult phenomenon such as this photograph of a narrow column of ectoplasm issuing forth from the floor. A true Ghost Hunter's Special!

Part 2 to follow ...
 
Part 2 - Candlelight Community Trailer

As we saw in Part 1, this manufactured home in Community in Coal Valley, Illinois is just the ticket for those with a sense of adventure, self-sufficiency and romance!

As we leave the Ectoplasm Room we find -

il-trailer-6.jpg

The Master Bath: all of the creature comforts necessary to make your bath-time a fun time! Lush, padded faux-fur covers the toilet, plenty of storage space on the custom built-in storage shelving, and an actual antique flat-foot tub / shower unit completes this hygienic Heaven!

Finally we arrive at -

il-trailer-7.jpg

The Dining Room: display your silver and plate collections on the custom built-in wall display unit as you gaze upon the artisan wall border and, as you dine upon the best money can buy, enjoy the view from your very own over-sized bay window.



Additional fees of $285 monthly lot rent + $17.50 sanitation fee; $8.50 base water and sewer; and $9.29 per 1,000 gallons of water used. Cats and dogs ARE allowed (just no vicious breeds, includes rottweilers, pitbulls, and Dobermans), so bring your fur-kids!

Location: 109 West 7th St, Coal Valley, IL 61240 - a mere stone's throw from the majestic Rock River and within minutes walking distance to Valley Falls Adventure Golf, Rudy's Tacos and the world-famous Happy Joe's!
 
Lookin' guioood! That bay window... seems to have been renovated with a chain saw, or was that just a passing twister??

But!! It's got ECTOPLASM in a PURPLE room !! There's a lifelong, zero effort income for life! People go crazy for that stuff. You can sell 'em 'dawgs and popcorn while they're waiting in the queue. It'll be just like Disneyland.

Can we get a senior's discount? Huh can we?? Huh?
 
Hmmmm, should I be offended by this post or should I be grateful that my home doesn't even come close to lookin' like these!!?? Yup, the hubs and I live in a mobile home. And this is what it looks like. We have since built a big covered porch on the front, and a big deck on the back. Does ours qualify the for 2013 tour??:wtf:100_6052.jpg100_6053.jpg
 
seabreezy said:
Hmmmm, should I be offended by this post or should I be grateful that my home doesn't even come close to lookin' like these!!?? Yup, the hubs and I live in a mobile home. And this is what it looks like. We have since built a big covered porch on the front, and a big deck on the back. Does ours qualify the for 2013 tour??:wtf:
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NOOO; Seabreezy, please don't take offense!! Phil is just joking, and he has a great sense of humor, you will see. Truth is, I'd love a mobile home, as they're so bright and sunny. My house is so dark it bugs me.....

Your home looks very nice, clean and well kept. We are just joking about the really run-down places you see here and there. Hope you understand. :apologetic:

In one neighborhood where we lived, our basements would inevitably get wet when it rained, and we joked about our 'sunken family rooms', just to make light of a bad situation.
 
That doesn't look like a 'mobile' home to me SB, they got wheels on 'em here.

'Relocatable' maybe but 'mobile'?

We have a lot of those type of homes here, in roughly the same range of condition. Many I've seen and been in have been cute and neat as buttons with all mod cons. The biggest problem I hear about is insulation. Freeze in winter, bake in summer but they're home to many who luv 'em.
 
seabreezy said:
Hmmmm, should I be offended by this post or should I be grateful that my home doesn't even come close to lookin' like these!!?? Yup, the hubs and I live in a mobile home. And this is what it looks like. We have since built a big covered porch on the front, and a big deck on the back. Does ours qualify the for 2013 tour??:wtf:
Click to expand...

No, I just have a strange sense of humor - please don't be offended.

And since you're relatively new here I'm going to let you in on a little secret that I normally wouldn't give out to anyone: these manufactured homes I'm showing? Those are about all I can afford right now. Maybe making fun of the more broken-down examples I find is my defensive mechanism. I'm actually jealous of the people that own beautiful homes like yours, because I KNOW I'm going to end up in a cardboard box with wheels when I make my "Big Move".

I'm laughing now, just to forestall the tears later.
 
Ok y'all, I promise I won't be offended, LOL. Trust me, here in SC i've actually seen a LOT worse than the pics that are posted here. We are lucky to afford this place, living on only hubby's paycheck. And Phil......if you ever loose that sense of humor you have, then you won't have anything! I doubt you will end up in a cardboard box, i'm sure you will do much better than that. ;)
 
seabreezy said:
Ok y'all, I promise I won't be offended, LOL. Trust me, here in SC i've actually seen a LOT worse than the pics that are posted here. We are lucky to afford this place, living on only hubby's paycheck. And Phil......if you ever loose that sense of humor you have, then you won't have anything! I doubt you will end up in a cardboard box, i'm sure you will do much better than that. ;)
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Thanks - I certainly hope so, but I have no expectations. ;)

Diwundrin said:
Phil, you forgot the link.


donate_button.gif
:devilish:
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Oops, sorry - http://quadcities.craigslist.org/reo/4109617878.html
 
Diwundrin said:
Meant the link to the "Donate" button. You sounded a bit of a charity case there for a while.

I can't afford the 'postage' to get that real estate gem over here, but thanks anyway. :cool:
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Oh - doh! :cower:

Actually I'm going to crawl to Salvation Army tomorrow and see if they have any begging bowls on sale - my last one was stolen while I was living under the bridge after my arms and legs fell off. Hopefully there will be a strong tailwind on the way home, since by then my oxygen tank is usually empty.

... but no, I'm far from being a charity case. Oh, excuse me for just a moment - I have to get a new pencil to hold in my mouth so I can type - this one is pretty much worn down ...
 
Oooh very good. I can smell those donation dollars roooolllllin' in.

Strange about needing a pencil to type, I used to touch-type with a pen in hand. If I put it down someone would pinch it or it'd get buried under paper. For years after I left work it didn't feel right to type without it. Usually had the phone held to the shoulder by my ear too. Hated headphones. Thinking back I must have looked like a one man band.


 
Diwundrin said:
Oooh very good. I can smell those donation dollars roooolllllin' in.

Strange about needing a pencil to type, I used to touch-type with a pen in hand. If I put it down someone would pinch it or it'd get buried under paper. For years after I left work it didn't feel right to type without it. Usually had the phone held to the shoulder by my ear too. Hated headphones. Thinking back I must have looked like a one man band.


Click to expand...

As long as you didn't have cymbals between your knees! :playful:

I subscribe to the Hunter S. Thompson School of Writing Official Writing Position #1: cigarette in left hand, bottle of Scotch on desktop left, rolling papers on desktop right, pencil clenched in teeth (only during deadlines), books, magazines and newspapers scattered haphazardly.
 

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