"The Talk"

dseag2

dseag2

Dallas, TX
Location
Dallas, TX
No, not the show. I was talking with my partner yesterday and he asked me if I would stay in Dallas if he passed away. I am 64 and he is 56, but we both really felt our mortality after my mother passed away in early November. I honestly couldn't answer because my only friends are those that I worked with in Seattle (would never move there) and my neighbors (that I haven't gotten together with in months due to Covid). I am an only child so I really have no one other than my partner in my life. It was pretty sobering.

He said that if I died first he would probably move back to Florida to be near his brother and sister. They are very close.

We also talked about funerals. I will be willing my body to science and he prefers cremation. No funeral, but a service due to his large family.

Sorry if this is morbid, but has anyone else had these talks?
 

I think it would be suspiciously strange if we did not talk about our future and old age and death with those we are close to. Once we reach the "turning point" and start the down hill walk, it seems only natural to include the journey and eventual end. Misa and I started this when we were in our fifties. Then we focused on getting finished with active farm projects, then getting rid of BIG tools, then coping with health issues, and planing on a secure future if one of us should pass on.
 
I did, with my then wife, and the kids when they became old enough to comprehend. Never really want a big service and don't really care what they do with the body. The topic has never come up since then. If I ever date again, I'll probably leave it up to him as well.
 

RFW said:
I did, with my then wife, and the kids when they became old enough to comprehend. Never really want a big service and don't really care what they do with the body. The topic has never come up since then. If I ever date again, I'll probably leave it up to him as well.
Click to expand...
I saw what you did there. Good for you! ;)
 
  • Like
Reactions: RFW
I married only several months ago, so yes, Michelle and I had the talk soon as we knew we were going for 'Til death do us part. Safe to say, I'll go first as she's quite a bit younger than me, so the talk was basically me telling her where certain things are and that my kids will take charge of certain details. So the only issue left is the house we'll be buying this year and everything in it. It will all definitely be hers after I'm gone, and whether she sells it all or some or not is entirely up to her. Whatever she needs or wants to do is fine with me.

(We've looked at a few houses already. We've only toured online, but we're getting pretty excited about it.)
 
Murrmurr said:
I married only several months ago, so yes, Michelle and I had the talk soon as we knew we were going for 'Til death do us part. Safe to say, I'll go first as she's quite a bit younger than me, so the talk was basically me telling her where certain things are and that my kids will take charge of certain details. So the only issue left is the house we'll be buying this year and everything in it. It will all definitely be hers after I'm gone, and whether she sells it all or some or not is entirely up to her. Whatever she needs or wants to do is fine with me.

(We've looked at a few houses already. We've only toured online, but we're getting pretty excited about it.)
Click to expand...
You cradle robber you! :ROFLMAO: Great that you have had the talk. Like you, if I go first my partner who is 8 years my junior is pretty much set. We need to stop watching Dateline.;)
 
Not saying we had this talk yet, but it has crossed my mind. Since we both have lived in this State our entire lives I highly doubt we would move away to another place or even out of this home. My daughters are still around here and soon to be grand kids so I want to be around that for sure.
 
No because there isn't really anyone for me to discuss this with. It's not morbid, it's reality. I should, one of these days, get in order that I want to be cremated.
 
You have to have the talk. I'm an atheist, so, come on, no church service. I want to be cremated. One thing I do not want is a wake. I hate it when people have been dead for three days, and somebody says, "Doesn't he look good?" Well, none of that is going to happen if you don't tell your loved ones. You need to give them guidance.
 
I've tried having the talk with my Huzz, usually directed toward us downsizing out of this too-big-for-us-now-we're-old-and-have-no-kids-to-help place; but he refuses to talk much about it, says if I go first, he'll take his gun out back and end it; says if he goes first, I'll be just fine. When I say, "Uh, no it'll actually be pretty hard, trying to downsize out of this big place and get situated somewhere else all by myself, espec. now that I don't drive much any more." He just says that I'll figure it out and walks out of the house.

As I told someone who was exhausted from trying to take care of her elderly in-laws and said she wished that they had planned for their old age, in many cases at least 1 of the spouses (usually the wife if we're talking male&female marriage) had tried and tried to do just that but got nowhere due to the other's refusal.
 
I have been thinking about this also. I've been re-doing my trust, and changing my beneficiaries, and who my house will go to.

Also, thought about writing down all my user names and passwords, my bank account info, my burial wishes...
all that stuff, and leaving it in my Trust binder.
 
Not to change the subject, but when I first saw the title of this thread before clicking on this, I thought this was going to be about the "you know what " talk. šŸ¤£ That happened with me and my girls many years ago. šŸ¤£ As for the talk to me my mom probably used totally different references for the the talk because it was so long ago. šŸ¤£
 
I expressed my wishes to son .... spouse would forget to do what he wants instead he always tries to change any plan i have
i asked him about his wishes much like dinner he said whatever you want.....
he would stay here for better golf weather ... i will move closer to children....
he says he has no interest to date but who knows ... he is older then me and i think we assume he will go first.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top