The Ugly unfair Truth about looking Beautiful.

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Denise1952

Well-known Member
I am posting this link that Meanderer posted because I would love to see a lot of people read it. It is one of the best things (if not the best) on women, beauty, and brainwashing. I don't know, you'll just have to read it to see what I mean. The first is the thread the link was in, the second is just the link on the article:

https://www.seniorforums.com/showth...quot-do-to-be-beautiful-)?p=162905#post162905

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10302408/The-ugly-unfair-truth-about-looking-beautiful.html

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nwlady said:
I am posting this link that Meanderer posted because I would love to see a lot of people read it. It is one of the best things (if not the best) on women, beauty, and brainwashing. I don't know, you'll just have to read it to see what I mean. The first is the thread the link was in, the second is just the link on the article:

https://www.seniorforums.com/showth...quot-do-to-be-beautiful-)?p=162905#post162905

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/wo...gly-unfair-truth-about-looking-beautiful.html
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I can't look at them..they make me angry..it just shows how surpressed we really are..even now!!!
 
I'm sorry Twixie, it kind of had the opposite effect on me. I felt like I'd been free'd up when I understood some of the "whys" we think like we do.
 

Yes..we think how we can please men....why we have to walk around looking stupid?..high heels are a form of bondage..you can't run away..
 
Twixie said:
Yes..we think how we can please men....why we have to walk around looking stupid?..high heels are a form of bondage..you can't run away..
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The thing to remember for me is that men have been just as brainwashed (not all of course, and not all women). I don't blame men, and I don't blame women.
 
It's to make you look ''sexually attractive''..staggering round with high heels on..scarlet red lipstick...It's what men want..It looks like you are sexually available..

I don't think men have been ''brainwashed'' at all..If they see a woman dressed like this..they will think..''easy sex''..
 
I think it's more complicated than we can even imagine - women have been possessions and sex objects for ages - belonging to men with power - rich men can 'buy' young beautiful "arm candy" even in these more liberated times. Is is all property, money and power, survival and ego - truly boggles the brain.
 
In that respect Twixie, I agree, but I mean on the whole. I don't know the stats, but I figure there are more "normal" looking folks then extraordinary beautiful. So the entertainment industry could make a lot more money casting more ordinary "real" looking people. Ordinary looking men, as I agree with much/most of the article, are brainwashed to believe they should be with these beautiful looking women. How many times has a wonderful provider (man) been dumped and ripped off because he thought a younger, sexier, perfect shape and beauty woman was for him. And why would he think this, movies, tv, magazines.
 
Cookie said:
I think it's more complicated than we can even imagine - women have been possessions and sex objects for ages - belonging to men with power - rich men can 'buy' young beautiful "arm candy" even in these more liberated times. Is is all property, money and power, survival and ego - truly boggles the brain.
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You are right in my eyes Cookie, it's always been this way, and women's lib did get some things accomplished, some not so good, I think because you can't win against nature. I said about men are brainwashed, maybe I am wrong, maybe it's just the nature of the species. I don't think tv & movies with always the beautiful people in the leads have helped though.
 
nwlady said:
You are right in my eyes Cookie, it's always been this way, and women's lib did get some things accomplished, some not so good, I think because you can't win against nature. I said about men are brainwashed, maybe I am wrong, maybe it's just the nature of the species. I don't think tv & movies with always the beautiful people in the leads have helped though.
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I agree, nwlady, about nature's mating dance - alpha partners are always first choice (if you can get it). Women's lib helped change many things for the better, but we're still biologically programmed animals.
 
Cookie said:
I agree, nwlady, about nature's mating dance - alpha partners are always first choice (if you can get it). Women's lib helped change many things for the better, but we're still biologically programmed animals.
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Yes, I feel that is the truth as well. I think some women, at least, fell back out of liberation just to survive, you couldn't beat them so you joined them. Many have continued to struggle against those "programmed" ways:(
 
Cookie said:
I agree, nwlady, about nature's mating dance - alpha partners are always first choice (if you can get it). Women's lib helped change many things for the better, but we're still biologically programmed animals.
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Yes we are.. and Men are too.. Men are a commodity to CATCH.. Like in Catch a man.. Snag a man.. etc. Women have been programmed from early on to depend on men. Some of it has to do with biology. A pregnant female or a nursing female.. or one with several very small children was dependent on a male to provide for her and her children. Her very survival and that of her offspring depended on her having a strong male. So therefore, women were taught to compete for the "better" male. One very effectual way of competing was to offer more than other women.. and being without material resources, women learned to be more sexually attractive than other women. So not only did we learn to compete for men.. we learned to place our value on how we looked and how sexual we appeared. It's very programmed and it continues today despite the fact that women now have the ability to take care of themselves. Even the most successful women succumb to the insecurity of not being "marketable".
 
I think my wife looks beautiful, but then again, she never overdoes it with makeup for when we go out to dinner or something special. We are both super glad that we are married and don't have to go thru that "dating/mating" thing anymore.

When I was single, I never looking for that "bathing beauty" type, b/c I wasn't that "hunky" looking type guy making lots of money. I wasn't looking for a so-called "Trophy wife". Only a "down-to-earth", "everyday looking" gal and that's what I got with my wife.
 
ClassicRockr said:
I think my wife looks beautiful, but then again, she never overdoes it with makeup for when we go out to dinner or something special. We are both super glad that we are married and don't have to go thru that "dating/mating" thing anymore.

When I was single, I never looking for that "bathing beauty" type, b/c I wasn't that "hunky" looking type guy making lots of money. I wasn't looking for a so-called "Trophy wife". Only a "down-to-earth", "everyday looking" gal and that's what I got with my wife.
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I am glad to know many have escaped this, I mean I know many have, I am VERY happy your wife and you have CR;) That deserves a BIG congratulations;)
 
I had stopped wearing makeup a few years before I met my husband - I was 48. Soon after we were married he said he hoped I'd never go back to wearing makeup or painting my nails, etc as he liked me natural, that I was beautiful as I was. :)

Anyone remember this horrible song?

Hey, little girl, comb your hair, fix your make-up, soon he will open the door,
Don't think because there's a ring on your finger, you needn't try any more.
For wives should always be lovers too,
Run to his arms the moment that he comes home to you.

I'm warning you,
Day after day, there are girls at the office and the men will always be men,
Don't stand him up, with your hair still in curlers, you may not see him again.
Wives should always be lovers too,

Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you.
He's almost here, hey, little girl, better wear something pretty,
Something you wear to go to the city,
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music, time to get ready for love.

Time to get ready for love, yes it's time to get ready for love,
It's time to get ready, kick your shoes off, baby...


 
When no longer in that game, it all seems completely irrelevant, and another lifetime ago - admittedly, when I was a young "chick" I did it for a while - makeup, clothes, hairstyles, jewelry - that I believed were essential and it was part of the culture. I grew out of it fast - and adopted a natural style - now, who cares? Good health trumps everything.
 
Yes, we should all just walk around with smocks on and stop bathing as well, who cares. LOL Dammit, I'm old and I'm not going to take it anymore. That should be the new slogan.

I say men should grow out all that back hair while we're at it too. Say what, lets have a vote. Let's all say no to caring about how we look when we walk out the door if some of those Walmart shoppers can do it, so can we.

Who's in? :torch:
 
Well, I wouldn't go that far April;) I mean that just accepting ourselves as we are, and try to block out the bs that's been fed to many of us all our lives. I do believe in clean and neat most of all, and I am not over putting on a bit of makeup, and maybe something new to wear. It's just the whole deal about women's roles in society, all through history. The article hit on so many things I didn't think about, I love it!
 
AprilT said:
Yes, we should all just walk around with smocks on and stop bathing as well, who cares. LOL Dammit, I'm old and I'm not going to take it anymore. That should be the new slogan.

I say men should grow out all that back hair while we're at it too. Say what, lets have a vote. Let's all say no to caring about how we look when we walk out the door if some of those Walmart shoppers can do it, so can we.



Who's in? :torch:
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Not a chance.. !!! :)
 
Of course I like to look nice and be clean and neat, brush the teeth, fix my hair, put on some deodorant and a little mascara, wear something nice. I'm talking about being obsessed about it like the teenage girls in "Clueless" - a fun movie by the way, - but reflective of going overboard in that department.
 
I feel the same Cookie, I guess it's another thing boiling down to pleasing others, or pleasing ourselves. I've for pleasing myself with the way I look, and if someone else likes it, I guess that's a bonus, but who cares, at least I am feeling more like that every day. It really is something positive I see about growing older and wiser;)
 
nwlady said:
I feel the same Cookie, I guess it's another thing boiling down to pleasing others, or pleasing ourselves. I've for pleasing myself with the way I look, and if someone else likes it, I guess that's a bonus, but who cares, at least I am feeling more like that every day. It really is something positive I see about growing older and wiser;)
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Yes, it's about pleasing ourselves. It's a bonus to get compliments from hubby (and others).
 
Just didn't want to see this boil down to what I've seen happen so many times in threads of this nature to a us versus them in the me being natural makes me better, no me wearing this or that makes me better a more confident person because of blah, blah, blah. Sometimes we end up in a cat fight when there should be none. We get defensive about my way being better than someone else's way. That's all, I've been on quite a few of these types of chats in and that exactly how it deteriorates to.

Some makeup, no makeup, a little, who sets the bar, like some of you said, it is best left to ones own comfort level, but some will try their best to emphasize that because someone puts on a little mascara or lipstick or whatever this is masking the wearers insecurities when sometimes it's the other way around or even jealousies motivating others remarks when the bashing either way starts to happen. I only take issue when others start trying to set the rules for others by saying because someone else wears or doesn't wear this or that, they lack confidence, I've seen it work both ways is all and the cattiness that this route evokes is worse than what the beauty industry or other sources have done period. Choice is a good thing finding a balance that works for each of us is good respecting each others right to make different choices, lifting each other instead of tearing each other down even better.
 

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