They walk among us

[squatting dog]

They Walk Among Us! .....
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends,when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and asked, "Where?"

They Walk Among Us! .....
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us! .....
While working at a pizza place, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone, and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into four pieces or six.. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into four pieces. I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat six pieces."
Yep, they walk among us....

 

[Beezer]

They Walk Among Us.....

I saw an episode of Judge Judy years ago. The defendant was acting strange, and the Judge asked him if he was Bipolar. To which he responded...

"No! I'm a busy guy. I don't have time to be Bipolar."

On a local radio program years ago a caller said, "Mr. Sutcliffe! This isn't rocket surgery! Then the host said...

"I agree with you sir. I'd also say it isn't brain science either."

 

[horseless carriage]

They walk among us? Some drive. Have you ever read insurance accident/collision reports?

"I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof." (from an Australian claim form - Thanks N Shepherd)

"The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind." (Thanks Sharon Burrows)

"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

(Take extra care when driving in Scotland.)
"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

(One for the incontinent.)
"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "

 

[Beezer]

They Walk Among Us.....

Back in the day on David Letterman, Dave held up an ad from a local Barber Shop in a newspaper. It read...

"Pay for one haircut, get one haircut for free! (free haircut to be used on next visit)"

 

[Sassycakes]

My husband walks among many. He can make anyone wish they Had not met him including me!

 

[Beezer]

 

[Magna-Carta]

They Walk Among Us.....

I saw an episode of Judge Judy years ago. The defendant was acting strange, and the Judge asked him if he was Bipolar. To which he responded...

"No! I'm a busy guy. I don't have time to be Bipolar."

On a local radio program years ago a caller said, "Mr. Sutcliffe! This isn't rocket surgery! Then the host said...

"I agree with you sir. I'd also say it isn't brain science either."

Rocket surgery. A phrase I often find myself saying. As I then watch the expressions on people’s faces very slowly develop, and move through several different type of facial expressions.

 

[win231]

I was changing a tire by the road. A guy walking by asked, "Flat tire?"
"No," I said. "I was just driving along & the other three swelled up on me."

 

[chic]

I was changing a tire by the road. A guy walking by asked, "Flat tire?"
"No," I said. "I was just driving along & the other three swelled up on me."

 

[Magna-Carta]

I once said to someone, in general conversation, that, "If you go on top of that hill over there and stick a 30ft ladder into the ground and climb it, you will be able to see for 30 miles."

I then said, "I wonder how far two men might be able to see on top of the same ladder when looking in the same direction." He thought for a while about what I has said, and he then responded by saying, “60…” He stopped himself before fully finishing his answer, at which point he said, “You are trying to trick me again! You can’t get two people at the top of the same ladder.”

The conversation then moved on. I said, "It’s almost Christmas already. It only seems like 12 months ago that it was this time last year!” He said, “Yes I know.” He then went on to say something but then stopped himself part way through. He then turned to me and in all seriousness said, “But it was this time last year.”. I smiled at him and said, "Yes I know."

 

[Magna-Carta]

I was changing a tire by the road. A guy walking by asked, "Flat tire?"
"No," I said. "I was just driving along & the other three swelled up on me."

Ive had something similar asked of me, but I said, "Yes, but only at the bottom, its Ok everywhere else"

 

[Magna-Carta]

I suppose sometimes people just need to know when to stop. Preferably before someone else stops them.