Things we like/dislike about our own kids - top ten!

grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
The traits, or characteristics of our own children will be something we're all fairly familiar with, (they may be similar to their mother/father?).

Here is a chance to put forward your top ten likes, and if you can think of any, aspects you're not quite so enamoured with, maybe at some stage during their development, and you hoped they'd grow out of someday, (selfishness, spoilt behaviour perhaps).

I'll have a crack at it first, though I may return to change my list, or alter the order I've placed them in. Here goes, (where I'm unsure of the best word to use I'll give alter natives):-
1). Gifted/Smart/Savvy

2). Confident

3). Strong willed/Brave

4). Independent

5). Insightful

6). Loving

7). Makes friends easily

8). Ambitious

9). Does not suffer fools gladly

10). Funny

Not so great:-
1). Selfish/spoiled

2). Occasionally dishonest

3). Bossy

4). Likes to think she's right

5). Precocious

6). Demanding

7). Rude

8). Cruel, (/emotionally tough)

9). Influenced by others too much

10). Feminist/Overly socially aware
 

Our kids grew up here, but now live in the farthest corner of the country.

Our grandkids are in the northeast.
 
I can't think of one negative aspect of my daughter's character. That is not to say that I think she's perfect .. but, pretty close to it šŸ„°

I don't see #10 on your "not so great" list as a negative.
 

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Pinky said:
I can't think of one negative aspect of my daughter's character. That is not to say that I think she's perfect .. but, pretty close to it šŸ„°

I don't look #10 on your "not so great" list as a negative.
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I must admit I was struggling to find ten negatives (from about four onwards), and thought of saying at the beginning, "What do you like about your child, I know everything, but choose the top ten", and this made me think of putting in negatives too!

Number ten is there because I have a question mark as to whether she will play fair with her great husband, or choose to put herself first too much.
She used to say as a child, " If she were unhappy in her marriage she would just get a divorce", to which my reply was, "Don't get married then, because you will experience unhappiness at times in a marriage", (odd advice coming from a dad perhaps). I worked with a woman called Peggy once, who had three daughters, and she was glad when her son in laws stood up to them, because she said it wasn't good for them to have their own way too much. :unsure: .

Being pedantic for a moment, don't you think being perfect might make someone hard to !I've with sometimes, because its quite something to live up to(?).
 
Struggling to think of a lot of negatives. Interestingly though, I can think of one each lol.

Son #1 Too competitive (but he's ended up close to a millionaire, so it's served him well.)
Son #2 Self-focused (he's the addict, but it's gotten better since he's been in recovery)
Son #3 Lazy (by his own admission, and by my observation)
Son #4 Has trouble being vulnerable/too private and closed off
Daughter #1 Permissive with her kids. Lets them get away with whining and interrupting.

They are ALL loving, independent, respectful, of strong moral character, good values, articulate, intelligent, and they love their Mama! šŸ’–
 
Don M. said:
Luckily, our daughters and husbands, and the granddaughters and their husbands are all pretty nice people, and share the positive "traits". If any of the "negatives" ever appear, they are short lived, and easily overlooked.
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Having 6 adults and 13 grandadults, I could write a book!!
.
full
 
There is probably a blindness in each and every one of us as to our children's faults, (maybe an evolutionary adaptation or something?):unsure:.

Some of us even think our children's words when they are young, are close to revelations from God, (oops, there is another one, "antireligious, or irreligious", number eleven. :whistle:)!
 
I cannot imagine a more destructive way to look at my relationship with my children than to focus on and list what I perceive as their flaws - even if counterbalancing it with an equal number of positives.

If I learned that my children listed 10 negatives about me to their friends, to themselves, or with strangers in an online forum I would be devastated.

Not a healthy exercise, my friends. Not healthy at all.
 
StarSong said:
I cannot imagine a more destructive way to look at my relationship with my children than to focus on and list what I perceive as their flaws - even if counterbalancing it with an equal number of positives.
If I learned that my children listed 10 negatives about me to their friends, to themselves, or with strangers in an online forum I would be devastated.
Not a healthy exercise, my friends. Not healthy at all.
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Well, its a point of view! :unsure: .
In mitigation I can give you a few facts, starting with whether your children might discover you'd shared negatives about one another, (and how can anyone be so sure?). In the case of my daughter there is zero chance she'll read them, "if she cared" in any case!
My second point is this, in the days when I used to tell her how good she was, and how highly she was thought of, her response was, "I'm not that good", (hence tick in the insightful positive box above!).
Finally we don't all have to think the same do we, and my own Godmother hinted to my own dear mother, that she could see I wasn't quite as bright/gifted/smart/savvy as some other children, but she said to my mother, in those circumstances you should look for other qualities in your child, like kind/loyal/friendly/pleasant, (just a bit dumb!). :).
BTW I was fastidious in focusing on as many positives as I could concerning my child, and it was luckily a very easy job, as she was also most always good company and a pleasure to be around, and god help anyone suggesting otherwise in mine/her hearing!
 
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It might be less problematic if, instead of focusing on our own children, we made general comments about a whole generation. I, for instance, am filled with admiration, sometimes awestruck, by the way the millenials have seized life by the horns, and manage to live it to the fullest, no matter what. They really are "the greatest generation," in my book.

What don't I like about them? Well, very trivial things, such as their apparent inability to make plans in advance, say whether they are coming to visit until the last minute, etc. They seem to live life on the fly. But maybe sometimes that's a good thing. My generation overplans and worries too much.
 
C'est Moi said:
My children are all perfect in my eyes; wouldn't change a single thing about any of them. I don't get the "score sheet" approach; how absurd.
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Absurd or not its started a discussion hasn't it.

I do think everyone is being a bit too serious about the issues I've raised, "lighten up the lot of you" (have you got cabin fever?)! (y):coffee::rolleyes:.
 
Sunny said:
It might be less problematic if, instead of focusing on our own children, we made general comments about a whole generation. I, for instance, am filled with admiration, sometimes awestruck, by the way the millenials have seized life by the horns, and manage to live it to the fullest, no matter what. They really are "the greatest generation," in my book.

What don't I like about them? Well, very trivial things, such as their apparent inability to make plans in advance, say whether they are coming to visit until the last minute, etc. They seem to live life on the fly. But maybe sometimes that's a good thing. My generation overplans and worries too much.
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You put it all in a nutshell Sunny....describing my two older kids exactly! Good to hear others see this in them too.
 
Since my son is mentally disabled, there is no way I can write a list about likes or dislikes. On a daily basis it goes back and forth with him. When you are dealing with brain issues life is a roller coaster for sure.
 
I have a Son and a Daughter. I couldn't make a list of all the things I love about both of them because the list would have no end. The only thing I can think I dislike Is my son never tells us if he is going through a hard time or more importantly if he isn't feeling well. The only think I dislike about my daughter is that she lets other people use her and she never complains.
 
I know I have to be a bit careful by saying anything, given the mixed reaction to the thread, and drawing forth some strongly held beliefs, but at risk of doing so again, I just wanted to mention the "level of tolerance" parents can display towards there own children, many perhaps could not do or display towards the children of others.

In church, on one occasion my daughter dreamt up a game where she was tapping my face with her fingers, getting closer and closer to my eyes. I decided that if I'd helped bring a child into this world who would poke me directly in the eye, then I'd allow her to do it, rather than have a fuss in church. I'm glad to say, obviously, my daughter twigged I wasn't going to react, and stopped doing it, I hope she understood the level of tolerance I felt able to display towards her. :) .
 
I tried a google search under the question of "Are there any parents who say their children have faults?"

I did it to probe a little further into the thought we have a "blindness" about any faults our own children might have, (and this being a necessary evolutionary thing?). Most websites thrown up took the question to mean, "How do you cope with problem children, or children with behavioural problems".

I found just one vaguely addressing the question as intended, (you understand this was not an exhaustive study), and didn't repost any of it, as there was bad language used quite a lot, so this put me off, and I couldn't work out how bona fide the website was, or whether it was just a personal view(?).

Putting all that for a moment, I wanted to share an amusing incident occurring when my daughter was a toddler, and taken on to Blackpool beach for the first time in her life, having never experienced a beach before. She sat down immediately, transfixed by the huge sandpit she'd discovered and refused to be moved for quite a while, amusing in itself!

However, it was when we moved to a children's play area, where a number of children were enjoying themselves, some boisterously. One grandfather, noticing his grandchildren tearing around, whilst our daughter sat there playing nicely, still overjoyed with sandpit digging, quipped with deep irony, and very funnily in my view, " That they had better go, now our troublemaker had arrived",(noticing her angelic behaviour!).

I hope you get the joke "over there", the grandad knew he'd got his hands full, and saw the humour in the situation! :giggle:.
 

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