This is just a fun story..I thought it so clever !

Rainee

Rainee

Member
Location
Central Coast, New South Wales Australia.
No Nursing Home For Me

Author Unknown
3-7-6

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back-to-back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home".

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations on a Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast-in-bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship. PS: And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side -- at no charge
 

I've been sitting here giving that a lot thought. Not for me, the ocean is for looking at, not bobbing about on, but I have thought about booking into a swanky motel somewhere, that would be cheaper than hostel accommodation and the food would probably be better. Nursing home is another matter of course but worth a thought for that intermediary 'waiting room' stage isn't it?
 
LOL Di I believe it was originally written as to do with a motel or grand hotel.. just the story got bigger and more juicier.. but was in a Holiday Inn..
This email has been making the rounds. Im passing it on to my parents.


With the average cost for a nursing home reaching $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.

For a combined long-term stay discount, and senior discount, its $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for

(1) Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner in any restaurant that I want, or room service.

2. Laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

$5.00 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up if you fake a decent limp. Ride the church bus free on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there, too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything for free and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks if you are OK. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to visit you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grand kids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward all your e-mails to the Holiday Inn!"

The Holiday Inn provides, to most standard rooms, coffee makers, reclining chairs, and satellite TV---- all you need to enjoy a cozy afternoon. After a movie and a good nap, you can check on your children (free local phone calls). Then take a stroll to the lounge or restaurant where you meet new and exotic people every day. Many Holiday Inns even feature live entertainment on the weekends. Often they have special offers, too, like the Kids Eat Free Program. You can invite your grand kids over after school to have a free dinner with you. Just tell them not to bring more than three friends.

Pick a Holiday Inn where they allow pets, and your best friend can keep you company as well. If you want to travel, but are a bit skittish about unfamiliar surroundings; in a Holiday Inn you'll always feel at home because wherever you go, the rooms all look the same. And if you're getting a little absent-minded in your old days, you never have to worry about not finding your room--your electronic key fits only one door and the helpful bellman or desk clerk is on duty 24/7.

Being natural skeptics, we called a Holiday Inn to check this story out. I'm happy to report that they were positively giddy at the idea of us checking in for a year or more. They even offered to negotiate the rate (we could have easily knocked them down to $40 a night)!. might be other versions too but its funny..!
 

I love the ocean. I think the idea is great, and remember food is free. The only downside I see, is you still have to pay for the booze. :cheers1:
 
You would have to pay for the booze anyway, surely!
i am not that keen on boats....but maybe..
 
Oh, this is it! This is my retirement plan!

Thank you SO much, Rainee - I'll be sure to send you postcards from each of my ports-of-call!
 

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