This pretty much sums up how I feel at this point in my life

[Raddragn]

The last 20 years have been the happiest of my life. There have been health problems, - COPD, Cancer, etc. The first progressed slowly and the cancers were stage 1. I still have a variety of interests and am still fairly lively

 

[Blessed]

I feel ya Leann. I think that by the time we're seniors, we all need that gentle calm in our lives. I remember a couple of years before my husband died (about 6 years ago), I realized that being at peace was the most important thing to me at that point, even if it meant I had to be a bit "selfish" at times. I hope your life from here on out is filled with soft, tender moments.

It is not about being selfish, it is about finally knowing what is best for you, what makes you happy and relaxed, We worked our whole life doing what had to be done, taking care of others. It is now the time to lay down the torch and find light in things that make us happy.

 

[bowmore]

One of my favorite quotes:
There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living

 

[officerripley]

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.

If you can, of course. Sometimes, like with certain family members, you're obligated. In fact, in this state there's even a law that says elderly parents can have the state force any offspring over the age of 18 to financially support them.

 

[Ruthanne]

I hear you definitely

 

[Pepper]

If you can, of course. Sometimes, like with certain family members, you're obligated. In fact, in this state there's even a law that says elderly parents can have the state force any offspring over the age of 18 to financially support them.

What if the parents were abusers? No, I don't like this law. I'll bet it wouldn't stand up to constitutional scrutiny. Of course, these days, who knows? I remember screaming at Ed Koch in the street when he was my congressman for proposing this federally.

eta
Well, maybe not screaming but I was emphatically objecting. I had wonderful parents but being forced by the state? No one would have had to force me.....So. Nah. Too many parents suck.

 

[StarSong]

If you can, of course. Sometimes, like with certain family members, you're obligated. In fact, in this state there's even a law that says elderly parents can have the state force any offspring over the age of 18 to financially support them.

These laws are on the books in 30 states but are virtually never enforced. California's law is still on the books but has been rendered completely toothless by another code. (Bolded, below)

California Filial Support Law

In California, the filial support law provides that “every adult child who, having the ability so to do, fails to provide necessary food, clothing, shelter, or medical attendance for an indigent parent, is guilty of a misdemeanor.” California Family Code §§ 4400-4405. So technically it's a law but an unenforceable one.

Section 4400 is still on the books but is undermined by California Welfare and Institutions Code 12350, which provides that “[n]o relative shall be held legally liable to support or to contribute to the support of any applicant for or recipient of aid under this chapter.” It further states, “No county or city and county or officer or employee thereof shall threaten any such relative with any legal action against him by or in behalf of the county or city and county or with any penalty whatsoever.”
Source: https://www.robertreeveslaw.com/blog/children-support-parents/

What if the parents were abusers? No, I don't like this law. I'll bet it wouldn't stand up to constitutional scrutiny. Of course, these days, who knows? I remember screaming at Ed Koch in the street when he was my congressman for proposing this federally.

eta
Well, maybe not screaming but I was emphatically objecting. I had wonderful parents but being forced by the state? No one would have had to force me.....So. Nah. Too many parents suck.

Completely agree. This would be like making parents of adult children financially responsible for their support until death of one or the other.

 

[Aneeda72]

If you can, of course. Sometimes, like with certain family members, you're obligated. In fact, in this state there's even a law that says elderly parents can have the state force any offspring over the age of 18 to financially support them.

I suppose so the state doesn’t have to,

 

[StarSong]

I saw this today in Instagram and it sums up how I feel at this point in my life:

"I can't afford anymore situations in my life that bring out the worst in me. It's exhausting and requires too much for me to recover from.
I need calmness and gentleness in my life.
I don't have the capacity for anything outside of that.
This is my soft and tender era"

There has been a lot of tumult in my life so I welcome and embrace a soft and tender era. How about you?

I mostly agree with this post.

What's helped me:
I've learned to dodge most political news and conversation and wow, has that dramatically increased my happiness index! Ditto distancing myself from relatives, friends and neighbors who thrive on drama and negativity. They love spreading their misery.

This forum is the only social media I participate in. Facebook nonsense was making me crazy so I just stopped going there. After a couple of weeks I stopped missing it. Truth is, it brought far more angst to my life than joy.

What don't I agree with in the OP statement? That this is my soft and tender era. All of my eras should have been soft and tender. We all need calmness and gentleness throughout our lives.

 

[Paco Dennis]

I never thought I would live to be 70 but here I am. After getting High Impact Peripheral Neuropathy, even after retiring from working, has changed my life drastically. I am so glad that I am at least gaining information on what is causing it, and many fellow PN patients share how they manage their constant pain. I am lightening my load of emotional/dramatic encounters, and headed into a new phase in life that I never could have anticipated. I have no idea what any other reality there is. My options of activities has been severely limited. So feelings of loss of my abilities are often present, with sadness, and anger. It is like an emotional roller coaster most of the day. Most of all, I never know what to expect even an hour from now. I guess I am finding out what it is like to live in the moment.

 

[Jaiden]

I have this feeling that we are not over the ruff era yet. I try not to dwell on negative outcomes. Trying to stay positive at this age and increasing pain is a full time occupation. I am not sure if it will settle down in my lifetime. BUT, I am finding ways to stay positive and participate with others and things like. My Dad once told me, "Buddy, it is no fun getting old".

When anyone would say that it's no fun getting old in front of my grandfather, he would always say, "Maybe so, but consider the alternative."

 

[RandomName]

I was trying to just mind my own business, pay my bills, mow my lawn and be drama-free (no romantic relationship). That worked for a few years, but then I got lonely for female companionship. Sort of out of nowhere.

So I started dating again. I am currently in a romantic relationship with a hot older woman (she is 70, I am 68). She looks 60. I look 68.

There is some drama, and some anxiety about our future, but I am way happier than before we started dating.

Yeah, I was all in for the 'please no more drama in my life, just let me chill' option, but it didn't work out for me, lol.

 

[hollydolly]

When anyone would say that it's no fun getting old in front of my grandfather, he would always say, "Maybe so, but consider the alternative."

the problem is ''the alternative'' is death which means we no longer suffer pain.... a lot might prefer the painless option... just saying..

 

[Ronni]

I saw this today in Instagram and it sums up how I feel at this point in my life:

"I can't afford anymore situations in my life that bring out the worst in me. It's exhausting and requires too much for me to recover from.
I need calmness and gentleness in my life.
I don't have the capacity for anything outside of that.
This is my soft and tender era"

There has been a lot of tumult in my life so I welcome and embrace a soft and tender era. How about you?

The situations in my life that brought out the worst in me were not of my making, not under my control, so avoiding future situations isn’t possible.

The best I could do then, can do now and I to the future, is to choose how I respond to them.

 

[NorthernLight]

Oops, sorry, I misread something, so my response is not relevant.

 

[1955]

"the yard work can wait until...next season...whenever that may be"

Yeah, I'm at that point too.

I've finally come to grips with myself and have found peace and quiet.

 

[officerripley]

California's law is still on the books but has been rendered completely toothless by another code. (Bolded, below)

California Filial Support Law

In California, the filial support law provides that “every adult child who, having the ability so to do, fails to provide necessary food, clothing, shelter, or medical attendance for an indigent parent, is guilty of a misdemeanor.” California Family Code §§ 4400-4405. So technically it's a law but an unenforceable one.

Section 4400 is still on the books but is undermined by California Welfare and Institutions Code 12350, which provides that “[n]o relative shall be held legally liable to support or to contribute to the support of any applicant for or recipient of aid under this chapter.” It further states, “No county or city and county or officer or employee thereof shall threaten any such relative with any legal action against him by or in behalf of the county or city and county or with any penalty whatsoever.”
Source: https://www.robertreeveslaw.com/blog/children-support-parents/

Wow, StarSong, I didn't know about Code 12350, good to know, thanks. (And no doubt explains why 5 diff. attorneys told me that although they were aware of the Filial Suppt. Law, they'd never heard of it being enforced. )

 

[PamfromTx]

I saw this today in Instagram and it sums up how I feel at this point in my life:

"I can't afford anymore situations in my life that bring out the worst in me. It's exhausting and requires too much for me to recover from.
I need calmness and gentleness in my life.
I don't have the capacity for anything outside of that.
This is my soft and tender era"

There has been a lot of tumult in my life so I welcome and embrace a soft and tender era. How about you?

 

[down2earth]

I was trying to just mind my own business, pay my bills, mow my lawn and be drama-free (no romantic relationship). That worked for a few years, but then I got lonely for female companionship. Sort of out of nowhere.

So I started dating again. I am currently in a romantic relationship with a hot older woman (she is 70, I am 68). She looks 60. I look 68.

There is some drama, and some anxiety about our future, but I am way happier than before we started dating.

Yeah, I was all in for the 'please no more drama in my life, just let me chill' option, but it didn't work out for me, lol.

The only date I would consider at this point grows on palm trees!

 

[down2earth]

The only date I would consider at this point grows on palm trees!