'tis a question for all you Mommas, when can you stop worrying about your children?

Aunt Marg said:
I don't think so.

Traditionally, mothers were the ones who have always stayed at home to take care of the home and children, not the fathers, and while worry isn't limited motherhood, I see the thread topic title as being perfectly appropriate.
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I really like the way you write back on various topics especially close to your heart...for some reason one of Kenny Rodgers tunes comes to mind....'you know how to hold them and you know how to fold them....
 

Ruby Rose said:
I really like the way you write back on various topics especially close to your heart...for some reason one of Kenny Rodgers tunes comes to mind....'you know how to hold them and you know how to fold them....
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Awww... thank you so kindly, Ruby! 🤗

You just made my day. 😍

Yes, what a befitting song!
 
Aunt Marg said:
Was just giving more thought to this thread, and I can't say I remember anyone (parents) from back in my childhood days that never worried about their children, and while I by no means am suggesting that today's generation of parents aren't as caring, or of the same worrying type, I do tend to think because of the more strict atmosphere that was present when I was growing up, I do believe a higher sense of responsibility was at play, more so than today, where parents typically don't know their own children's friends parents, and vice-versa, and half the time don't even know what their children are up to or where they are.

For those who disagree with me, feel free to burn me at the stake.

Just an observation from an old-fashioned mom.
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Have to tell you how close a grip I had at times with my kids when toddlers and we were living on the base...as my mother used to do, I tied them to the long clothesline with a lengthy rope of course...they got their fresh air, I could see them out the window and continued my chores.
 
Ruby Rose said:
Have to tell you how close a grip I had at times with my kids when toddlers and we were living on the base...as my mother used to do, I tied them to the long clothesline with a lengthy rope of course...they got their fresh air, I could see them out the window and continued my chores.
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OMG, I so remember the days!

I never did it with my own, but definitely remember a couple of neighbourhood mothers that I babysat for that did.

Boy, can you imagine the stir such would cause now, Ruby?

I can see it now... CHILD ABUSE... SHE'S NEGLECTING HER CHILD/CHILDREN... THE CHILD IS IN DANGER! LOL!
 
Aunt Marg said:
OMG, I so remember the days!

I never did it with my own, but definitely remember a couple of neighbourhood mothers that I babysat for that did.

Boy, can you imagine the stir such would cause now, Ruby?

I can see it now... CHILD ABUSE... SHE'S NEGLECTING HER CHILD/CHILDREN... THE CHILD IS IN DANGER! LOL!
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Speaking of baby-sitting...I hated babysitting for others because I did so much of it at home which I did not mind. But my sweet Mama would brag about me and I was sent to babysit in the evening for a couple of neighbours pour des sous seulements. Did not appeal to me in the least especially when they left a sink full of dishes to wash (no dishwashers to be had in those days) or even a pile of ironing to do. Also, of course no TV anywhere just a radio which I always had on with Boston Blackie, etc being Favourites. To keep awake, I would listen (don't laugh now) to a boxing match (my Dad boxed) and no kidding as soon as the bell rang and it was counted and yelled out, 'you are out', the people were just unlocking their door. Must admit had a bit of a nap during but was always saved by the bell. No one ever knew this. I finally got my Mama to stop!
 
Ruby Rose said:
Speaking of baby-sitting...I hated babysitting for others because I did so much of it at home which I did not mind. But my sweet Mama would brag about me and I was sent to babysit in the evening for a couple of neighbours pour des sous seulements. Did not appeal to me in the least especially when they left a sink full of dishes to wash (no dishwashers to be had in those days) or even a pile of ironing to do. Also, of course no TV anywhere just a radio which I always had on with Boston Blackie, etc being Favourites. To keep awake, I would listen (don't laugh now) to a boxing match (my Dad boxed) and no kidding as soon as the bell rang and it was counted and yelled out, 'you are out', the people were just unlocking their door. Must admit had a bit of a nap during but was always saved by the bell. No one ever knew this. I finally got my Mama to stop!
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Oh my goodness, yes, that was me, too, Ruby!

I didn't have much of a direct hand in the care of my baby sister right under me, born in 1966, other than being my moms little helper, but baby siblings born after I sure did, and with the last two born in 1971 and 1973, this big sister was like a second mother.

I do remember feeling obligated to wash dishes, clean-up, and do this and that whenever I babysat in and around the neighbourhood, but having such a love of helping at home with my baby siblings for so many years, along with pitching-in and helping my mom with other household chores and duties, it was just in me to act like a real mom whenever I babysat. I really used to take charge, and I was no-nonsense.

Meals, snacks, bottles (including making homemade baby food and formula), dishes, laundry (including washing and folding diapers)... no Pampers in those days, not where I babysat... and so much more.

As for babysitting duties at home, Friday night was babysitting night for me always, and surprisingly, I never harvested any resentment towards the fact, even though I never got paid for it, though mom was good about giving me a little something from time to time to put towards a new pair of pants, a top, or something that I was in need of or wanting.

Also used to babysit for an aunt every Wednesday night (her Bongo night).

One thing I do remember is my mom always offering up my services as a babysitter. LOL! I would get home from school and mom would be beaming... "oh honey" she'd say, "Mrs. so and so needs you to babysit tonight, and I told her you would", so on that front I never struggled to find babysitting jobs, but like so many other old-fashioned babysitters in those days, .25¢ an hour was my rate of pay, and it didn't matter how much effort I put into cleaning and tidying, how many kids I was in charge of, or how many hours I sat for, I got the same .25¢ an hour.

Fast-forward to when I welcomed my first, all of the babysitting I did sure made me a better mom. I'd be silly to say I knew it all, but I sure had a good handle on the basics.

As for taking an occasional nap or tipping-off when babysitting (outside my childhood home), it happened to me, too, especially on those all nighters, where 10:00 pm turned into 12:30 am, and where 12:30 am turned into 2:30 am.

One good wake up call for me when I used to babysit, was the two fulltime summer babysitting I did for two separate moms, separate years apart. Monday to Friday, 7:30 am to 3:30 pm (all summer). You really get a taste for what real motherhood is all about. I actually spent so much time at the one job, that my mom used to walk across the street to check in on me every now and then, even though I was 18 at that time.
 
i am not anyone's momma but i worry about other people's children. i care about people i work with so i tend to worry about them no matter whose kid they are or what age they are. so i'm going with never.

i'm in my 50s and my folks still worry about me.
 
Ruby Rose said:
Speaking of baby-sitting...I hated babysitting for others because I did so much of it at home which I did not mind. But my sweet Mama would brag about me and I was sent to babysit in the evening for a couple of neighbours pour des sous seulements. Did not appeal to me in the least especially when they left a sink full of dishes to wash (no dishwashers to be had in those days) or even a pile of ironing to do. Also, of course no TV anywhere just a radio which I always had on with Boston Blackie, etc being Favourites. To keep awake, I would listen (don't laugh now) to a boxing match (my Dad boxed) and no kidding as soon as the bell rang and it was counted and yelled out, 'you are out', the people were just unlocking their door. Must admit had a bit of a nap during but was always saved by the bell. No one ever knew this. I finally got my Mama to stop!
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Was there a big age gap between you and your baby siblings, Ruby?

Another member and I were just chatting about this very thing a handful of days ago on another thread, how we had a helping-hand in the care of our baby siblings. Feeding, changing, etc, etc.

Was it the same for you, too? Making bottles, preparing formula, changing diapers?
 
Aunt Marg said:
Was there a big age gap between you and your baby siblings, Ruby?

Another member and I were just chatting about this very thing a handful of days ago on another thread, how we had a helping-hand in the care of our baby siblings. Feeding, changing, etc, etc.

Was it the same for you, too? Making bottles, preparing formula, changing diapers?
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My Mom had the first five in five years...then the other three with miscarriages in between...so I gather we would have been 10 children in all, across the span of ten years. I was taught early.
 
Ruby Rose said:
My Mom had the first five in five years...then the other three with miscarriages in between...so I gather we would have been 10 children in all, across the span of ten years. I was taught early.
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Oh my word, I should say so that your mom taught you early!
 
In my pre divorce self, I worried about my kids' future, if they will remember all I taught them, especially, handling finances. Post divorce after deep reflection, I learned to let go of things I have no control. I live for the here and now. I tell my kids to find their niche and as long as they're happy, mom is happier 😊.

Dad left us more than enough for this lifetime but he knew I will not squander valuable resources. I'm proud to say my kids take pride in their achievements, they're not moochers.

When my mind is idle, that's when I begin to worry so I keep myself busy as much as I can. No worry, be happy. Life is wonderful 👏
 

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