SifuPhil
R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
- Location
- Pennsylvania, USA
Hospice and palliative care workers are often the last people to speak with a dying person, and over time there comes a certain sameness of expressed emotions. Each dying person will go through the traditional stages of denial, fear, anger, remorse, bargaining and eventually acceptance.
Their regrets about their lives also tend to fall into one or more of these top 5 categories:
1. Living a life that is true to themselves, not to others
This is the most-often expressed regret, having lived a life devoted largely to helping others fulfill their dreams instead of seeking their own.
2. They wished they hadn't worked so hard
Missing out on family time, creating health issues and constantly running on the wheel because of work demands seemed, in the end, to be a massive waste of time.
3. They wished they had expressed their feelings
"Holding it in" because of a misplaced sense of propriety often lead to frustration, anger and physical illness. If they had it to do again they would speak out about both their joys and sorrows, their beliefs and opinions.
4. They wished they had stayed in touch with their friends
In the hustle and bustle of living life friendships often melt away, but in the final days they take on a renewed importance. Often it is simply too late to re-build bridges. They state they should have placed a higher importance on their close friendships.
5. They wished they would have allowed themselves to be happy
This is perhaps the saddest one. They failed to realize that happiness is a gift one gives to oneself, not that one finds out there "somewhere", and as a result they led lives of falsehoods, pretending they were happy when in fact they were often miserable.
Their regrets about their lives also tend to fall into one or more of these top 5 categories:
1. Living a life that is true to themselves, not to others
This is the most-often expressed regret, having lived a life devoted largely to helping others fulfill their dreams instead of seeking their own.
2. They wished they hadn't worked so hard
Missing out on family time, creating health issues and constantly running on the wheel because of work demands seemed, in the end, to be a massive waste of time.
3. They wished they had expressed their feelings
"Holding it in" because of a misplaced sense of propriety often lead to frustration, anger and physical illness. If they had it to do again they would speak out about both their joys and sorrows, their beliefs and opinions.
4. They wished they had stayed in touch with their friends
In the hustle and bustle of living life friendships often melt away, but in the final days they take on a renewed importance. Often it is simply too late to re-build bridges. They state they should have placed a higher importance on their close friendships.
5. They wished they would have allowed themselves to be happy
This is perhaps the saddest one. They failed to realize that happiness is a gift one gives to oneself, not that one finds out there "somewhere", and as a result they led lives of falsehoods, pretending they were happy when in fact they were often miserable.
