Trust, and betrayal.

Ronni, that is surely the thought of the day, the year and a lifetime.

My default position is to take the risk of trusting someone unless I sense something about them that suggests that I should be cautious.

Just yesterday I trusted a young man to enter my home without knowing anything about him other than he was a plumber. I trusted him not to cheat me on the price and to do a good job fixing leaky taps.

My trust was not misplaced.
 
Warrigal said:
Ronni, that is surely the thought of the day, the year and a lifetime.

My default position is to take the risk of trusting someone unless I sense something about them that suggests that I should be cautious.

Just yesterday I trusted a young man to enter my home without knowing anything about him other than he was a plumber. I trusted him not to cheat me on the price and to do a good job fixing leaky taps.

My trust was not misplaced.
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Like you, I will allow a repair person in my home from a reputable company, or based on a personal recommendation. I trust them enough to be in my house, but not enough to be alone in it.

I don’t trust easily, or often, not fully and completely, anyway. A lifetime of marital indefinitely and being taken advantage of financially, not to mention the abuse I and my children suffered at the hands of my ex, destroyed the open and trusting person I started out life being.

Years of therapy, counseling, support groups, self-help books etc allowed me to close those emotional wounds but the scars are still there, irrationally reminding me that it’s not safe to trust, that I will be betrayed, and that’s something I overcome daily.

To be trusting is to allow myself to be vulnerable. It’s akin to baring my breast to a sword strike while believing absolutely that strike will not come.

I am still working on my ability and willingness to forgive. Rationally I understand that forgiveness is for me, and it’s a necessary component to my emotional health and well being so that the bitterness doesn’t turn me toxic. Still it’s hard.

I did have a pivotal moment when I realized that forgiving doesn’t equal reconciliation or re-establishing communication. Forgiveness is something I understand in my head and feel in my heart, and it doesn’t need to progress further.

I am still very much a work in progress and likely always will be. 😉
 

I believe that trust is a temporary thing, then betrayal will happen one day in the future. You may trust a person for one time or many times, but the day will come when they betray you. So even with someone you trust do not tell them things that are better kept secret to yourself. When betrayal comes there are many options available to you whether to place the betrayer in exile or use the secrets that you have withheld to make him regret, he ever betrayed you.
 
Trust must be EARNED! It is like a savings account. It must be built up over time through one's deeds and actions. I'm willing to trust strangers a little bit, as long as the consequences of betraying that trust are insubstantial to me.
 
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