Turning 65 in January and sad

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lovetoswim

New Member
Anyway, I am turning 65 and sad. I never married, never had children (so I have no grandchildren) and never had a new car or owned a home. Never even rented a home. I was on my own and could afford apartments. It seems I had so many dreams for my life that never came true.

I just wanted to share this.
 

lovetoswim said:
Anyway, I am turning 65 and sad. I never married, never had children (so I have no grandchildren) and never had a new car or owned a home. Never even rented a home. I was on my own and could afford apartments. It seems I had so many dreams for my life that never came true.

I just wanted to share this.
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Sorry you feel so sad. This time of year always makes people without families feel like crap, unfortunately. Try not to pay attention to the hype- it's all for advertising stuff.

At least you were spared the heartbreak of divorce, or widowhood, if that's any help. If you're retired, well enough, and feel you can commit, there are Big Sister programs you might be interested in.

Hang out here; share comments with us. There's usually someone around. You now have us!

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Welcome to the forum, lovetoswim. Glad you could join us.

For me, 60 seemed to be the tough one, but that was almost 11 years ago now. I've come to realize that everybody who is fortunate enough to become "old" has unfulfilled dreams. Personally, I'm OK with that. I want to stay focused on today and tomorrow, and look back on all of the good things that have happened during my life. I've made a lot of mistakes along the way, but I'll damn sure not add to that by wasting my latter days fretting about what might have been.
 

Welcome lovetoswim! Please don't be so sad, we are all individuals and don't fit into a cookie cutter character for happiness in life. I will be 66 in a few months and have no children either, although I am married. I think you should think more positively about what you do have and don't underrate yourself at all. You were able to live independently on your own, and not everyone can successfully do that, so kudos for taking care of yourself and not being dependent on a partner.

How is your health at this age, if you have no major medical conditions to deal with, then that's one more thing to be thankful for. Like Rose said, the holiday season is a lot of hype and makes family life to be the perfect dream, but in reality, it's not always that way. Do you have any friends to spend your time with? If not, as already said, you have some potential friends right here, certainly lots of caring folks to talk to whenever you like.

Rather than dwelling on the past, just embrace where you are today.....it's not all bad, I assure you. Make the best of your days now, and look forward to a bright future, it's not all doom and gloom. Too many people waste their time thinking about past regrets, you can't go back and change anything, but you can make the most of your life today and tomorrow. Do you have any pets to share your days with?

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Well There is indeed a silver lining in all this you know. First you made it to 65. Heck I remember turning 65 and was upset because the cake my family bought was too small for all the candles. I thought they were cheap. Actually so were the previous 10 cakes.....Oh well....Maybe they should have bought smaller candles. As Radish Rose said it's that time of year and I find it to be annoying. Department stores and their Christmas....excuse me...Holiday music, starts in November. By the time Christmas actually gets here I want to hide in my room and watch Die Hard movies. But I have to force myself to be jolly and good. As for grandkids, when they used to come over I hid all my chocolate bars and counted the hours till they went home. Now they are all grown up. I don't have to hide my stash anymore.....Always look on the bright side of life.....I heard that somewhere.....;)
 
lovetoswim said:
Anyway, I am turning 65 and sad. I never married, never had children (so I have no grandchildren) and never had a new car or owned a home. Never even rented a home. I was on my own and could afford apartments. It seems I had so many dreams for my life that never came true.

I just wanted to share this.
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'Never married'…...you've ......always ....had.... the whole.... bed???!!!
I can’t remember what that was like

'Never had children'…..care for a 47 yr old schizoid? I have one available

(so I have no grandchildren) (so borrow some…they’re out there…especially this time of year)

'and never had a new car'….or payments?……or huge insurance? (yer makin’ me well up)

'….or owned a home. Never even rented a home.' Get this straight, ‘home’ is where you are right now

Now, a house…that has expense written all over it…rented or making payments, paying taxes, making repairs, I'm gonna presume you don't have that…..so sad for you

You just don’t know how foot loose and happy you are

Please, tell me more


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Everyone is different and arrives at age 65 by a different route. Your way is not worse than others. In my old age I'm discovering that living alone is a great blessing. I also have never owned a home. I think we need to find something meaningful to do with our lives. I'm hoping to help with disaster relief organizations in upcoming years. Nothing holds me back - no house, no husband, no children who still need me to maintain a home for them. Life is still full of amazing opportunities.
 
I am sixty one and also never married but get to the cricket and rugby and go to several concerts a year.And if you are out and about you get to meet folk.And If you post regularly on forums such as this you can find yourself with the modern equivalent of a pen pal or two.
 
Welcome lovetoswim , I don't know if you're male or female, but regardless, there's been some really lovely comments here from people, including our resident comic Gary O.. who is only half kidding in this instance.

It does seem if you have what others don't have that you've missed out somehow, but what others?.. for us who've been married, had children, owned homes and cars... a life like yours and so many others like you, can also seem like heaven for all the reasons GaryO wrote...

High mortgages, kids who don't appreciate everything you've done for them, divorces and widowhood as stated by Radish rose... .
if you have decent health...take the excellent advice of Seabreeze, and try and enjoy what you have...and don't worry about the things you don't have.

remember the old adage about being careful what you wish for...

Happy 65th Birthday to you whenever that is... .. and many more, and now you've found new friends here perhaps this will be a start to a more uplifting life for you...
 
Hi lovetoswim, also wanted to welcome you to this friendly place
I'm in a similar situation like yours I'm 66, never married or had kids,never felt comfortable behind the wheel.I rented my 1st apt for 10 yrs before I moved here into a co-op building 30yrs ago,which is located 2 blocks from my childhood home
I sometimes get sad around Christmas because my late parents birthdays are in Dec 5 days apart.I get through it as best I can
I hope you have a group of close friends like I do who are there for me and vice versa
You now have friends here who can give your advice on any topic Sue
 
There you are, straight away OP... 2 people here just on this thread who are in a similar position to you..so as you can see, you're not in the minority. try not to be sad, there's no need if you have friends in real life or online.. ..
 
Welcome, lovetoswim. I'm 72 and consider it a blessing to have made it this far relatively intact. Consider it a blessing, and quit worrying about the number. I imagine every one of us has some regrets about what we did or didn't do, but we can't do anything about it now except to go forward from where we find ourselves. I am no pollyanna, by any stretch, but that's the plain truth of the matter.
 
lovetoswim said:
Anyway, I am turning 65 and sad. I never married, never had children (so I have no grandchildren) and never had a new car or owned a home. Never even rented a home. I was on my own and could afford apartments. It seems I had so many dreams for my life that never came true.

I just wanted to share this.
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So which makes you sad the most, lack of material things? Or the lack of family?

Didn't Abraham Lincoln say....Most folks are just about as happy as they choose to be?.......Or something similar?

Gary pointed out some positives of your situation. Why not enjoy them?

If you always want what someone else has......you'll never be happy.
 
Many of my experiences with marriage and children have been heartbreaking and difficult. It isn't all peaches and cream. Maybe you dodged a bullet by staying out of those situations.
 
Ellejay said:
Many of my experiences with marriage and children have been heartbreaking and difficult. It isn't all peaches and cream. Maybe you dodged a bullet by staying out of those situations.
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Amen to that.

I'm approaching 70, have known allot of people...I have never had anyone tell me they were happily married.
I have heard, content, it's OK I guess, could be worse, she's a good cook....heard similar from females, he's a good dad, provider, he isn't abusive, not a drunk,....& others. NEVER EVER heard happy/ happily married from either camp.

My half sister may be the exception. She & her hubby seem to be quietly happy....she never has complained about him, nor him complain about her. His job [now retired] required a bit of travel, many times she went along. They are both golf nuts & seem to share that together. She & I aren't "close" so we don't have "talks" .

Most folks I now know are married 2nd & some 3rd time. For the life of me I don't know why they keep trying ? particularly when I have heard most of their horror stories about the last one.

Of course in the stages of advanced aging I suppose 'content' [is] an accomplishment ?
 
Hi lovetoswim. Often I feel sad too. You're not alone. Christmas is a hard time of year for many because it seems the whole world is going to a party you haven't been invited to, but that's not true. Peace from Chic.

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I am 5 years older, never married or came close to it. Frustrated each time.
I have always rented but that does not bother me. It wasn't a goal. I have the opportunity now to buy and would still rather rent.
My careers became mostly part-time deadends. I could mention other things. But I have survived many ordeals.
I just discovered one of my old GFs remarried in her 60s for what it is worth.
Hey can you at least say you tried?
 
Victor said:
I am 5 years older, never married or came close to it. Frustrated each time.
I have always rented but that does not bother me. It wasn't a goal. I have the opportunity now to buy and would still rather rent.
My careers became mostly part-time deadends. I could mention other things. But I have survived many ordeals.
I just discovered one of my old GFs remarried in her 60s for what it is worth.
Hey can you at least say you tried?
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I own, and wish now that I did not. I hire out the yard work, but wish i didn't need too.

Quit chasin' skirts about 7-8 yrs ago. Quit chasin' relationships , long before that.
 
I recently came across a quotation that I used in our "Guess the Quotation" word game (in the Games thread). I liked it. It goes:

"Christmas is a time when you feel homesick, even when you're home."
 
Welcome to the place. I'm new also. :) Sorry to hear of your sadness. It can be downright unbearable, especially this time of year when it seems families and couples who are blessed with abundance are everywhere!
 
Everything in life has its pros and cons. Perhaps you should write a list of pros and cons. Examples = Pro~ not everyone makes it to 65, congrats. Do you have debts? Do you have friends? Any special talent? You have the bed to yourself with no one snoring or tossing about. And remember, husbands and children and grandchildren are a two-edged sword, some can be wonderful and others are a nightmare or at least disappointing. Just reading this forum you will read about the two sides of life.

And welcome to our forum, we'll be your online friends.
 

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