Vivid Memories of Childhood and Beyond

My Southern Exposure

I was raised around wood stoves and fireplaces. The natural gas stoves down south were a bit of a mystery to me.
Had a buddy George that I tried to kill a few times, just before I met my bride.
He was a long tall Texan, cowboy hat, boots and all.
Six foot five and about six inches across.
I called him 'Two By' (the hat and boots didn't help).
Face’d make an onion cry.

We shared a flat in Houston just off Telephone road, where we hung our hats. He was a truck driver, and I an oil field pipe inspector, of which jobs were plenty 'cause people were getting killed all the time.

One cold morn', when we both were home at the same time, I commenced to build a fire.
This little stove had a worn metal placard on it that read 'ARNIN', and a bunch of tiny words with a picture of a flame.
I cranked up ol' ARNIN, struck several matches, and called on Two By's help.
He jerked the matches away from me, folded his string of a body, and turned the pilot knob, holding it in, looking at me like, 'you yankee idiot'.
He hunched down, putting his face close to the pilot tube, and put the lit match over it.
WHOOOOSH!
You could actually see the force of the explosion as it immediately blew through and past his scraggly bearded mug.
It was like a cartoon, side burns, beard singed to black nubs, eyebrows, nose hairs gone, hairless outstretched arm still holding the extinguished match.
He eventually looked back at me, face smoking, like 'why are you trying to kill me, you won the war'.

The other time was when I poisoned him.

He had pneumonia from jumping in and out of his air-conditioned cab.
So there he lay on the couch, hacking his lungs up into a beer can, looking skinnier than what was normal for even him.
I felt sorry.
"Hey, how 'bout a bacon sandwich?"
'Yeah, toast the bread", cough, hork, groan.

The bacon in the fridge looked a bit ancient (coulda' been new cheese), but I scraped off the green stuff and fried it up, and even added tomato slices to my creation (coulda' been a red bell pepper).
I watched as he commenced to wolf it down between coughs. While hacking, he’d look at my culinary masterpiece, quizzically peeling back the bread and examining the contents, then after relishing the last crumb, laid back down.

I cleaned the kitchen, doing the dishes with my hand cleaner and tidying up. My work was done here.

I heard him stir a bit. Then he gave out a little suppressed choke/cough and immediately launched his lunch, blowing chips all over his lap.

Never before had I ever heard anything like the groan coming from what seemed his lower intestines.

Writhing on the floor in your own chewings is not becoming for anyone.

Two weeks later he was outta the hospital and driving again.

Thank god I met up with my lady shortly after, and her cookin' took over.

BLT anyone?
 

Took a trip up to the cabin today
A little more winter tighten up, and getting the snow blower for town.
Grabbed some winter clothes from the sea container.
Foraged around in there amongst the thousand boxes of yarn and cook books.
Came across an old album mom put together
Think that was damn nice of her
Fun leafing thru

Funny, pics of me in my single digit years cause flood of memories
Quite vivid
Like I was just there.... yesterday

I remember bathing in the kitchen sink
...at 7 months for cryin' out loud

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I remember sitting on my uncle's chevy
Thinking I was going home with 'em (their little joke) I was buying into it...big time
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I easily remember my first best buddy, Billy
We rode the back yard range together
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I remember grade school of course
That's me, with my arms folded
Mrs Wadsworth in the upper right corner...I wrote early on in this thread about her
It was a two room school
This was the upper grades room

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Later in life was the usual...wife, 3 or 4 (or 6 or 8) kids
I remember them

....Except number 12

I don't recall when it was I went from names to numbers, but, hey, photos don't lie

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In post #1, Gary said:
"My bedroom was actually our bedroom, sis and me.
After the remodel, we got twin beds, new ones.
Recall my first migraine in my new bed, pressing my head into the pillow. Teddy no consolation, but then I didn't really give it an honest try to fix his dented plastic nose either.
Dad was the bedtime story teller, Goldie/bears, red/the wolf, pigs/wolf..pretty standard stuff....but did the job.
Had a framed picture of a collie baying over a lamb in a snow storm hanging over my bed. It hangs over my light stand table today, found in some of my mother's stuff. "

Here tis'
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After all the posts/threads about black Friday, I'm compelled to post a little shopping story from years ago;

Shopping


My lady, in yule mode, cranks out knitted and crocheted slippers for everyone on the same limb of the family tree. Sometimes a full blown afghan or two come to being.
They’ve been great, money saving gifts.
I, for the most part, every year, swear off buying anybody anything…it’s a humbug….then, some invisible ‘Christmas Present’ angel from hades baps me on the head around 7:30 pm, Christmas eve, and I grab a bat and my ol’ football helmet and venture thru the malls.

There have been times that I’ve had an epiphany and made the grandkids things, things of wood, forts, chests, ‘things they’ll treasure’ (my elfin mind tells me). So, for 2-3 weeks before that blessed day, every evening after work, I’d be seen in my shop, sawing, joining, planing, staining, finishing, smashing my elfin thumbs, cursing, swearing, waving my elfin arms……yeah, epiphanies….everybody should have one a them %@#&*$ epiphanies

Other times, years ago, my bride and I would find ourselves waiting for stores to open at 4 am.
It couldn’t be helped.
The glisten in her eyes from anticipation of early morning adventures swayed me to wake in the dead of night on black Friday eve, tiptoe past slumbering chickens, and sit in the mall parking lot, staring at the line of crazed humanity already encircling the electronics store like it was Jericho.
One time she joined the horde, unsuccessfully coaxing me to follow.


There I sat, flashlight and crossword in hand, hair askew, bedbeard looking like I was in a crosswind…..stomach chatting with me.
Two minutes to 4, I rubbed the fog off the side window.
The crazies were jostling for position.
I lost sight of the wife somewhere around the corner of the building.
I slap on my fishing cap and begrudgingly leave the refuge of the Buick.
The doors open.
The guy with the keys gets carried away with the mob. Only thing you can see of him is his flailing arms.
I stroll in with the first 50 shoppers that will get the TV special, getting a glimpse of the wife swimming past, heading to the TV dept….only the specials were all up front. The guy with the keys and foot prints on his shirt, points me the way.
Half hour later, here she comes, TV in cart.
I, TV in trunk, am on the 2nd crossword.
We’re not done…there’s a mere 27 other stores that have free snow globes, free coffee, and free donuts…….the frenzy has only begun.
So we secure her TVs, and make our way upstream, pointing to the trunk as we stroll back inside, making sure the parking lot thieves can know where at least two of the 50 TVs can still be had.
Two hours later, with globes clutched by jittering caffeine induced hands, the furrowed brows on my powdered sugar countenance lets the wife know I’m a couple clicks past jolly…and we go home….blessed home…..





Now, shopping for people at the mall has been great entertainment for my lady and I.
We just sit on a bench, munching on popcorn, and watch mothers drag their screaming little darlings along.....and their husbands (but less screaming...some).
We once set by one of those quarter horses (put a quarter in the slot), and noted the parent's varied techniques in skirting quarter out-put;

1st dad: DON'T TOUCH IT!!! Tazing his precious antiseptic germ distribution unit with his Neosporin gun.

2nd dad: sets his kid on and fakes putting a coin in, then shakes the crap outta the machine, making periodic wheenying noises.....

3rd dad: points the opposite direction, noting wonderful toy stores around the corner, while briskly whisking his kid by the horsey.


Its great fun.


…aaaand it's quite thrifty.
 
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Janet and I used to do the Black Friday thing, her for the sales, me for the people watching. Now, in Austin, and I suspect elsewhere, Black Friday sales start a few weeks before Thanksgiving, so the fun of crawling out of bed at 4 AM, on that traditional Friday, is gone. Janet actually got all of her deals on this past Wednesday.
 
Remembering childhood toilets

Early on, in my childhood tenure, I recall one thing rather vividly

Our toilet

Seems Mom wielded the enema apparatus somewhat unsparingly
And, from zero to three, the other thing that came into play, directly after being bent and filled with Mr Squirty, was The Duck
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But, over and above that, thinking about our facilities, Mom wasn't the most astute at maintaining the white bowl

Matter of fact, I thought the brown ring was pretty much how toilets came from the factory

It wasn't until we bought the big house, ten years later, that the toilet brush came into prominence
And, boy howdy, did we all ever get schooled on frequency of employing that little tool
That's when the upstairs became some sorta museum
Just missing the gold ropes that'd guide us along, room to room, while viewing

Downstairs, things were pretty much doing business as usual

...and that's where my brother and I spent our inside time

I enjoyed making him use the brush

he's lucky I didn't use his head
 
Reading all these posts brought back a memory to me. When I was about 6yrs old my brother got drafted into the Army. Luckily his base was in Maryland,Pa. My Dad would drive all of us down to the base right after work on a Friday. We would stay until early Monday morning and me and my sister were just in time for school. My Brother had a small apartment on base that was made where the Stables used to be. Sometimes my Aunt and Uncle and their son Jimmy would come too.

My cousin Jimmy was a funny boy. We would walk down the road and there was a phonebooth. Jimmy would pick up the phone and say "Operator ,give me 222 and another one. " Then he would hang up and we would start running back to the camp. We were all scared to death that we would get in trouble !After all these years I still remember it like it was only yesterday.
 
A vivid memory for me was helping grandpa with his goats. Pictured is Rags, a long haired goat, then Josephine, a white gentle goat and Bach Button, a miserable old, horny male that hated my guts.

In the background is the goat and milking pen. Button was kept in a separate barn. I don’t know how many times he knocked the siding off the barn and came after me unless he was looking for something else. Horny jerk. 🥵A85A91C3-94AB-4D24-BBBB-D5E7E9A9874D.jpeg
 
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Pappy said:
A vivid memory for me was helping grandpa with his goats. Pictured is Rags, a long haired goat, then Josephine, a white gentle goat and Bach Button, a miserable old, horny male that hated my guts.

In the background is the goat and milking pen. Button was kept in a separate barn. I don’t know how many times he knocked the siding off the barn and came after me unless he was looking for something else. Horny jerk. 🥵
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Pappy——Did you ever milk a goat? I did once. It took me awhile to catch onto it.
 
Last New Year’s office party before retirement

At a huge lodge

Fancy

My lady and I didn’t really wanna go

But we did

‘We’ll jus’ nurse a drink, mingle, disappear’

Stayed

Too long

Music

Dancing

The QA manager, tall blonde, a real BEE EYE TEE CEE AEYTCH at the office

Turns out she’s quite the party girl

Cut in on the dance floor

Put her tongue in my ear

Whispered ‘I love you’

‘I love you too’ (pat pat)

‘No…no…..I’m IN love with you’

Put her hand on my hind end



GET…ME…..TH’ HELL OUTTA HERE!!!!
 

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