Waiters! Dude, I’m not your BFF, just take my order.

Chatty servers don't bother me. If I'm not interested, I respond in monosylabbles. Lots better than indifferent servers. 25 years ago we took our kids on a week long vacation to New Zealand. Servers were paid decent wages there and tipping was not the custom.

Our boys were 8, our daughter 10. Ages where strange foods fell under the category Yuk!, not Exciting Culinary Adventure, so they wanted certain customizations. Like, could I please get that burger without a fried egg on it? Please may he have fries (chips) instead of XYZ vegetable - we'll pay extra if there's a charge for it. Please don't put that big dollop of lard or butter on any of our food. Etc.

Waitstaff looked at us like they were clerks in department stores who'd been asked to please go in the back room and sew up this style dress, but in a different size and color. (I'll browse the store while you do that...)

Very few restaurants accommodated our requests. Waitstaff were polite and efficient but decidedly less invested in our dining experience than even typical US fast food workers. They shrugged us off, "That's the way it comes. Do you want it or not?" We ended up at McDonald's and pizza joints distressingly often.

When DH & I travel internationally, when the wait person comes over we first say, "We just love your city. We live in California and have always wanted to visit here!" Delivers the message: if you treat us well, there'll be something extra in it for you when we pay the tab, regardless of whether it's customary to tip here. (Mostly we just want to ask a couple of questions about unfamiliar ingredients.)

p.s. We had a lovely time in NZ, a gorgeous country, warm people, lots to do. Restaurant experiences were the only ragged edge.
 

I'm a very friendly person, as well as my wife is, and will talk shortly with a waitress or waiter. Don't mind what they ask me...…...I just answer. And, if they are doing a good job on waiting on us, I will commend them for that. Appreciation can be told as well as giving the tip. Have had some wait staff get shocked when I commended them about the service they gave us.
 
Something else I don't care for~when a waiter or waitress squats down low, so their head is just above the table, to take your order. This happens in places like Hard Rock Cafe, mainly in tourist areas.
 

Not a bad person just not as friendly as the waiter trying to make a living. I've never waited tables but I imagine doing what you think will improve your chances of making more being chatty is what it's all about. We've had that type & understand there are enough mean people in the world so we take it in stride.
 
Floridatennisplayer. Are you a bad person? Oh , hell, yeah! But, let's just concentrate on this restaurant thing. :) He was way over the "chatty" line, and well into the "you got to be kidding" line. I'm quite sure his manager was training him to be super friendly. The problem was his friendliness was patently fake. At least, it's better than having a bored waitress, who is five minutes away from a hot date with her boyfriend. And I think you were right in telling him that you didn't have plans to adopt him. BTW Did you tip him?
 
Here's another type of server, probably only found in New York. My husband and I were visiting, went to the Stage Deli to have one of their legendary corned beef sandwiches, and an "older" waiter came over, stood next to the table, and bellowed, "What!?"

Both of us cracked up, of course. It was like a scene right out of a movie. The guy probably sized us up, and figured that we were OK with that level of humor. P.S. The corned beef was delicious. 😁
 
@Floridatennisplayer - I think the waiter was over the top chatty, but you were rude. All he should have said was a simple, "Hi, I am John, are you ready to order?" or some such thing. You could have said something like, "I'd like to order, please". That would have given him the hint. Maybe he was trained to be chatty with customers as good customer service.
 
I have a soft spot when it comes to treating the wait staff well. When I was in high school, I was in a study/work program. A friend was waitressing at a small cafe that served breakfast and lunch and she said they needed another waitress. I got the job and had to pay the first 2 weeks salary to buy a uniform and shoes. The owner/manager was a meanie and difficult to work for. The cook was a sweet, quiet woman who could cook well. One day in the middle of the lunch rush, we heard the owner screaming at the cook in the kitchen. The owner came back to the cafe, while the cook slipped out the back door. The owner had to cook the orders herself. She was a terrible cook and the diner soon had to be closed. Karma in action.
 
I dislike trendy or overly precious posh food joints with ear splitting music, menus that are confusing examples of marketing mayhem, perky staff and gee whiz technology "at your table for your convenience".

Greet me, hand me a simple menu listing items and prices and have someone bring me ice water immediately. Come back in a few minutes and take my order and then leave me alone. I dont need everyone in the place stopping by to ask if everything is ok. I will tell you if it isn't.
 
hollydolly said:
s a teen I also waited tables in a restaurant on a Scottish holiday Island which was/is very popular with American tourists, and they were by far the chattiest of all my customers. They would instigate the conversation, and were.. by and large my nicest and happiest customers...
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I think the exception is when being a tourist.
Waitstaff are oftentimes the most informative in regard to what to see and do.....and what to avoid.
 
I dont need everyone in the place stopping by to ask if everything is ok. I will tell you if it isn't.
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Yes, Llynn, one of my pet peeves also. In fact, I don't need anyone stopping by to ask that. I've never had a server politely wait for a break in the conversation, or even for a sentence to be finished, before breaking in with: "IS EVERYTHING OK?" It would be tempting to say, "Well, it was until you interrupted us."

I have to wonder if the wait staff behave that way in their personal life. Probably not. This bit of rudeness is so universal that they are probably all taught to do it by management. What makes these managers think people want someone breaking in with unnecessary questions when you are clearly in the midst of conversing? If everything was not OK, you would have flagged them down!
 
Gary O' said:
Our waitress actually sat down at our table and started up a conversation.....

We go out to eat, to go out to eat...and enjoy each other's conversation.

Servers should serve....and be very good at it

It's not a meet and greet
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I saw a waitress do this a few weeks ago. She was the LOUDEST waitress I've ever heard and sat down a couple of times to 'chat with'/'yell at' the couple next to our table. She distracted our group ...can't imagine actually being her target. I'd have very nicely asked her to leave and not come back unless I beckoned her. Maybe they didn't mind, but they didn't act all smiley and into the conversation.
 
Floridatennisplayer said:
Am I a bad person? My gosh, it seems like so many waiters now are so overboard and overly chatty. I know you want a nice tip, we get it.

Here was the conversation yesterday: Hey guys, “I’m Chad, so where are you two off to today? Any plans this weekend?” How about the Super Bowl coming up! Who you rooting for?”

I unthinking reacted with, “Dude, not to be rude but I don’t know you, why would you care what I have planned for the weekend? And why would I want to tell my plans to you?” “But we are hungry and would love to give you our order.“. I tip very well, but I really only expect you to check on us a few times to see if we need refills or something and bring the bill. You can do the best friends with someone else. I have to many friends as it is.”

He stopped in his tracks, looked confused, then smiled and said, “ I put it on too thick huh?” I laughed and said, “yeah, it didn’t make me like you and want to tip you more, it made me want to punch you in the face.” He cracked up, “No problem sir.”

Sorry, but come on. I just want to order and eat. Don’t be all fake to me.

I don’t mind short pleasantries, enough with the personal interrogations.
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Some customers like it when staff takes an interest in them rather than just treating them like money maker. I don't work for tips so if I try to be nice to you it's genuine. Don't make me regret it.
 

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