Wakes and Funerals in the Good Old Days

[Big Horn]

The first funeral that I recall was of the last of my maternal great aunts. It was an old-time Irish Catholic funeral, the only one I ever witnessed. The wake was at her home where she had lived with her daughter and her family, husband and two girls. The body was laid out in the living room; the drinks were in the dining room. As we were getting ready to leave, a group of women came in. They were professional mourners who were there to perform the Irish wail or Irish cry. They began to wail in a pitiful but strangely beautiful way. My parents, grandmother (it was her sister), and various other relatives all moved to the door immediately. They were moderns who didn't approve of the old ways. One of my aunts said that it gave her chills through her whole body. My grandmother, her last and youngest sibling, simply scoffed. Years later, my second cousin told me that she'd had nightmares afterward. She couldn't have been more than six or seven at the time. I doubt that my grandmother appreciated my asking her if we could have her wake at our house when she died, but the casket with the old lady and all the flowers seemed almost as good as a Christmas tree. I believe that I was about six.

The day of the funeral we all gathered in front of the church waiting for the body. We didn't enter the church until the pall bearers had taken the body in. The rest of the funeral was apparently very ordinary; I don't remember anything about it. Afterwards, there was a luncheon at a pleasant restaurant where I remember how the atmosphere seemed to suddenly change from sad to festive. It was a family reunion.

I referred the funeral and wake as Irish Catholic, but there was nothing Catholic about the professional mourners who were crooning to the spirits of the dead or, perhaps, to the damned. I'm sure that Maedb and the other gods and goddesses of Ireland were pleased.

This funeral took place in the late forties.

 

[Marie5656]

I remember once attending a wake where the person was laid out in his home. It was for my cousin's grandfather (other side of family) Seemed kind of odd. I had never been to a wake before, and was surprised at the next one I went to was in a funeral home.
On another occasion, I was about 13, nd went with my 15 year old cousin to the wake of our uncle. We paid our respects, and then started exploring the place. The funeral home had two floors, so out of curiousity we went upstairs. Found another room with a body laid out in it..open casket. No one was there, so must not have been calling hours for him. Oddly, seeing my uncle did not bother me, but seeing a dead stranger gave me bad dreams for weeks.

 

[terry123]

When I was a child I remember wakes in the home. Was not a pleasant scene for a child.

 

[Aunt Bea]

My paternal grandfather was the last person in my family to be laid out at home.

I remember my father and my uncles bracing the floors with posts and beams in the basement for fear that the crowd would be too much for the old house.

It was also the last funeral in my family that had a professional photographer, he created an album similar to a wedding album for my grandmother.

 

[Sassycakes]

I come from a Italian family and wakes with my Aunts and Uncles were unbelievable. After my grandfather got lost and his body was found a month later ,you could not believe the yelling and screaming of my mother and her sisters. One Aunt said "We have to get Poppy a Suit." Her daughter said that the coffin would be closed. My Aunt cracked her right across her face. I was shocked because my cousins face was paralyzed and yet my Aunt hit her.Then at the funeral parlor the same Aunt tried to open the coffin. all of us grandchildren just couldn't wait for it all to be over. All these years later I can picture it like it was yesterday.

 

[debbie in seattle]

Wakes in the home and the body was there too, then on to the funeral home for more. Must be a southern thing(my dads family).