So this morning my eyes opened and took in the new day. I knew something was wrong right from that moment. I felt fine, I'd had a sleep after a rough evening yesterday due to a headache that wouldn't quit, but it was gone now. Yet the air was hanging with tension.
I walked the dog - in the rain. It was pouring, but I have a policy that no matter the weather, walk time is walk time. No problem there. I had a cup of tea. Not seen the wife, but I hear movements in her room, and there's a lot of angry sighing and knocking things about.
I try to just let the day kick in, but actually it's like there's a mist of something bad hanging in the air. I could go and ask what is wrong, can I help? But I start to feel sad. It's first thing in the morning, I"m just letting the day map itself out, and while I feel fine, the virus of unsettling sentiment is leaching in.
By midday I'm out and out depressed. I've done nothing, not seen the wife, but this has gone beyond "walking on egg shells". There's an oppressive air about the place, and I don't want to touch it. Worse, any idea of going to try and help has left me. I don't need this at this time of day, and at this time of life. I don't expect excitement and joy every day, but uncontrolled drama just makes me want to give up. I've not even got any idea what the issue is.
It's evening now, and I think it was something to do with not being able to contact her mother. This is a benefit to me, because they usually just argue on the phone - a phone I have to pay for. Not that I mind, money isn't important. But there's just no communication, no conversation, and nothing in common. And I open my eyes to drama.
All in all, a bad day. I get it, I'm paying the price for bad decisions of the past. I'll man up and face them down. I've had so much opportunity, and somehow ended up here. Seemed like a good idea at the time. You all know how that goes. I'm sure some of you have been in bad relationships and have suffered similar things. I'm not looking for a pity party. It's just that today I sank to a low, and when it comes from nothing..... you start to fear mornings.