Want to talk about stuff?
- Thread starter papa tiger
- Start date
Paco Dennis
SF VIP
- Location
- Mid-Missouri
Absolutely WOW! "Beam me up."
papa tiger
Well-known Member
The Employees that worked at Rag's Restaurant
weren't bad kids, they just wanted to have a lil fun.
So one summer day the river slides, rides and Blue pool that opened up
and Gonzo, their boss wanted to take them to the Fun pools.
So Gonzo said were closing up early tonight.
and going to the Slides and pool.
Gonzo breaks out the bottles of beer and
the employees start getting on with happy.
So later that day Gonzo is swinging from a rope and
falling into the blue pool and the kids laugh, thas funny !
Next day those Employees are at work and in comes Gonzo.
Kids say they need some help Gonzo !
So Gonzo goes in the back and goes
into the walk in cooler & tries to get down a
big container of mixed sandwich spread from
the high shelfs, thus spilling it
all over his head cause he's 5' tall
And the employees just rolled in laughter. .
Them kids aren't bad child's
they just want ta have a little fun !
weren't bad kids, they just wanted to have a lil fun.
So one summer day the river slides, rides and Blue pool that opened up
and Gonzo, their boss wanted to take them to the Fun pools.
So Gonzo said were closing up early tonight.
and going to the Slides and pool.
Gonzo breaks out the bottles of beer and
the employees start getting on with happy.
So later that day Gonzo is swinging from a rope and
falling into the blue pool and the kids laugh, thas funny !
Next day those Employees are at work and in comes Gonzo.
Kids say they need some help Gonzo !
So Gonzo goes in the back and goes
into the walk in cooler & tries to get down a
big container of mixed sandwich spread from
the high shelfs, thus spilling it
all over his head cause he's 5' tall
And the employees just rolled in laughter. .
Them kids aren't bad child's
they just want ta have a little fun !
papa tiger
Well-known Member
papa tiger
Well-known Member
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping in the wilderness. After they got their tent set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,"'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically-speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time-wise, it appears to be
approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically,the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?"
"You are dumber than buffalo... It mean someone stole tent."
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,"'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically-speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time-wise, it appears to be
approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically,the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?"
"You are dumber than buffalo... It mean someone stole tent."
papa tiger
Well-known Member
papa tiger
Well-known Member
Marie5656
SF VIP
- Location
- Batavia, NY
I have mentioned my niece, Julie, often. Several years back she ran a local bar. Sold it after a couple years. Sadly, a couple weeks back the building burned to the ground. Arson suspected, but never confirmed.
Did a drive by the other day as they were demolishing the building
Did a drive by the other day as they were demolishing the building
papa tiger
Well-known Member
Under Settings ... Privacy & security ... Windows permissions ... Search permissions ... Under the “More settings” section, “Show Search highlights” is toggled to the off setting.
papa tiger
Well-known Member
papa tiger
Well-known Member
You got to watch for Microsoft Ai grabbing your id's & passwords. When you want to protect you have go to remove from Microsoft.
papa tiger
Well-known Member
TIME ONCE WAS;
Almost Everyone worked at a Factory, gas station, car wash, Hospital or Diner / Tavern. Kids delivered the Paper
And Salesmen sold Vacuum Cleaners, Encyclopedia, Cars, Used stuff or Shoes. Women raised the kids and
Cleaned the house, doing the dishes and Laundry.
Men didn't cook but BBQ was their weekends. Take me Out to the Ball Game was a hit with many.
Cool music played on most radios and Hog prices were announced.
Everyone new the Test Pattern on their B&W 19". What is A Transistor Radio wasn't part of School Curriculum.
The Party line was in fact the daily news / Gossip column. Editors were important along with newspaper reporters.
The 2 Do list wasn't very complicated. Shoe Shops in every town replace Heels. Operators plugged the phone board.
Overseas / Long distance call Operators couldn't hear you due to noise. Station to Station was a catchy phrase. Only a
Few people drove cross country or Flew.
Taking a Train or Buss were common answers. Talking about the Weather was considered Neighborly.
A Hoody was a Parka and 5 buckle overshoes in every Hall Closet. Many kids had butches,
flat tops, crew cuts and girls pigtails. Pulling pigtails always welcomed a shove.
Girls played Jacks, Jump Rope or hopscotch and the Boys were on the playground playing ball.
Riding in a lil red wagon was the game on the sidewalk. A Bike with bell was the go to.
No one new what Helmets or bike lights were. And Seat Belts were the Pilots speak for not falling out.
Almost Everyone worked at a Factory, gas station, car wash, Hospital or Diner / Tavern. Kids delivered the Paper
And Salesmen sold Vacuum Cleaners, Encyclopedia, Cars, Used stuff or Shoes. Women raised the kids and
Cleaned the house, doing the dishes and Laundry.
Men didn't cook but BBQ was their weekends. Take me Out to the Ball Game was a hit with many.
Cool music played on most radios and Hog prices were announced.
Everyone new the Test Pattern on their B&W 19". What is A Transistor Radio wasn't part of School Curriculum.
The Party line was in fact the daily news / Gossip column. Editors were important along with newspaper reporters.
The 2 Do list wasn't very complicated. Shoe Shops in every town replace Heels. Operators plugged the phone board.
Overseas / Long distance call Operators couldn't hear you due to noise. Station to Station was a catchy phrase. Only a
Few people drove cross country or Flew.
Taking a Train or Buss were common answers. Talking about the Weather was considered Neighborly.
A Hoody was a Parka and 5 buckle overshoes in every Hall Closet. Many kids had butches,
flat tops, crew cuts and girls pigtails. Pulling pigtails always welcomed a shove.
Girls played Jacks, Jump Rope or hopscotch and the Boys were on the playground playing ball.
Riding in a lil red wagon was the game on the sidewalk. A Bike with bell was the go to.
No one new what Helmets or bike lights were. And Seat Belts were the Pilots speak for not falling out.
papa tiger
Well-known Member
This morning I went to sign Dawg up for welfare.
At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".
So, I explained to her that Dawg is a mix in color, country of origin,
unemployed, & can't speak English, + he
has no frigging clue who his Daddy is.
So, she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.
My Dog gets his first check Friday.
This is a great country!
At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".
So, I explained to her that Dawg is a mix in color, country of origin,
unemployed, & can't speak English, + he
has no frigging clue who his Daddy is.
So, she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.
My Dog gets his first check Friday.
This is a great country!
papa tiger
Well-known Member
Did you hear about the $3 million Redneck Lottery?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
“Speed doesn't kill, suddenly becoming stationary… that’s what gets you.”
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
“Speed doesn't kill, suddenly becoming stationary… that’s what gets you.”
papa tiger
Well-known Member
THE UNFORGETABLE STUFF OF AGING
There was a time when I sort of believed in stuff.
Since then, I have come to disbelieve most stuff.
Everyday we're going to hear the absolute truth
from an Absolutely, Unconsciously, Unconsciousable
& Unbelievable Liar. But almost Believed !
I personally know 70-year-old crazies. For one
person to know 10 seems unbelievable. ha-ha!
Follow the Alzheimer trail to understand the above.
...
...
..
.
There was a time when I sort of believed in stuff.
Since then, I have come to disbelieve most stuff.
Everyday we're going to hear the absolute truth
from an Absolutely, Unconsciously, Unconsciousable
& Unbelievable Liar. But almost Believed !
I personally know 70-year-old crazies. For one
person to know 10 seems unbelievable. ha-ha!
Follow the Alzheimer trail to understand the above.
...
...
..
.
papa tiger
Well-known Member
I recently saw a picture of the Family pet working one of those Backhoes in the family back yard.
I wondered what would give it the drive, the need to operate a backhoe in a back yard?
I wondered what would give it the drive, the need to operate a backhoe in a back yard?
papa tiger
Well-known Member
HOW THE INTERNET GOT STARTED;
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to the People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed, he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
that's how it all began; I COULDN'T MAKE IT ALL UP!
_________________________________________________________________
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to the People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed, he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
that's how it all began; I COULDN'T MAKE IT ALL UP!
_________________________________________________________________
papa tiger
Well-known Member
THE LONE RANGER & TONTO;
Kemosabe means 'soggy sage brush' in Navaho:
"It would be nice Kemosabe if you could keep from getting shot in the shoulder all the time."
Tonto means Fool:
"I need you to ride into town and bring back the 'Possie's'; Tonto!"
__________________________________________________________________________
Kemosabe means 'soggy sage brush' in Navaho:
"It would be nice Kemosabe if you could keep from getting shot in the shoulder all the time."
Tonto means Fool:
"I need you to ride into town and bring back the 'Possie's'; Tonto!"
__________________________________________________________________________
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papa tiger
Well-known Member
Shirley walks into a doctor’s office.
She gets in the room with the doctor and says,
“Doc, I hurt all over.” The doctor is really interested.
He says, “What do you mean, you hurt all over?”
Shirley says, “I’ll show you.”
She then touches herself on her leg.
“OW!!! I hurt there.” Then she touches her earlobe.
“OW!!!!!! I hurt there too!” Then she touches her hair.
“OW!!!!! EVEN MY HAIR HURTS!”
So, the doctor thinks on it for 5 min.
Then he says, “Tell me, is blonde your natural hair color?”
Shirley says “Yes, why?”
The doctor says, “Well, you have a broken finger…“
She gets in the room with the doctor and says,
“Doc, I hurt all over.” The doctor is really interested.
He says, “What do you mean, you hurt all over?”
Shirley says, “I’ll show you.”
She then touches herself on her leg.
“OW!!! I hurt there.” Then she touches her earlobe.
“OW!!!!!! I hurt there too!” Then she touches her hair.
“OW!!!!! EVEN MY HAIR HURTS!”
So, the doctor thinks on it for 5 min.
Then he says, “Tell me, is blonde your natural hair color?”
Shirley says “Yes, why?”
The doctor says, “Well, you have a broken finger…“
papa tiger
Well-known Member
After being married for 51 years and take a careful look at my wife and say, "Fifty one years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl."
"Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $63,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large smart screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She tells me, "Go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and I'll make sure that you will once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV."
"Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an aging guy's problems!"
_____________________________________
"Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $63,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large smart screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She tells me, "Go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and I'll make sure that you will once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV."
"Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an aging guy's problems!"
_____________________________________
papa tiger
Well-known Member
The chain saw operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine
trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3
acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches.
How many Budweiser's will it take to fell all the trees?
trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3
acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches.
How many Budweiser's will it take to fell all the trees?
papa tiger
Well-known Member
I took my Bimini top cover to the local Tent and Awning place for replacement.
It soon Burned Down. I never heard from the owner. The following spring
the charred remains were dug up and a Gas Metro Mart was built by that fall.
I never found out where the Owner went too. Just bought a new Bimini.
papa tiger
Well-known Member
Karen tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image came out too blurry.
She has selfie steam issues.
_____________________________
She has selfie steam issues.
_____________________________
Mr. Ed
Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
- Location
- Central NY
Why are humans supposed to be grateful for life and living? It is nothing we personally did except exiting a mother’s womb. Human expectation consist of being happy and joyful, do not question your lot in life because someone else has it worse than you do. Life stinks.
papa tiger
Well-known Member
A Guy once said, I'm not gonna die Bungy Jumping off the Canyon Bridge.
I have my life, was created via a broken rubber.
Think about the end of it. 350 lbs, can't get out of bed, and wearing a Depends.
Spoon fed, washed and bathed in your bed. Someone turning you occasionally
if they find the time. The endless drone of violins from the Movie Channel.
You can't reach the Remote or the Ice water or your bed adjuster. You
realize you are alive in HELL ! Don't know what day it is, or year. Just
that you been there a very long time !
I have my life, was created via a broken rubber.
Think about the end of it. 350 lbs, can't get out of bed, and wearing a Depends.
Spoon fed, washed and bathed in your bed. Someone turning you occasionally
if they find the time. The endless drone of violins from the Movie Channel.
You can't reach the Remote or the Ice water or your bed adjuster. You
realize you are alive in HELL ! Don't know what day it is, or year. Just
that you been there a very long time !
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