Was watching Sister Wives. Just for fun,no judgement..could you live a polygamous life?

Alligatorob said:
That is interesting, do you know how it works?

Assuming we are talking about heterosexual things the numbers should be 1:1. Or do a smaller number of women commit adultery more frequently or something?
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I am talking about heterosexual marriages and/or shackings. I don't know how you came up with the 1:1 ratio. :unsure: And do you mean frequently as how many times with one outside partner or how many different outside partners the woman had?
 
I don't think you can excise jealousy from human nature enough to make any of that work, without huge, huge problems.

There would be huge resentments.

In my performer days I knew some wilder people who experimented with three people in a relationship. All wacky and weird stuff. Never worked.

I think the historical origins of polygamy are all practical. Just trying to keep up the population, so that there are enough people to get all the necessary work done. I think it evolves out of that.

If some folks want to honor ancient customs, I get that. But pragmatically, I think it has to create too much human jealousy.


So, we had a friend who was auditioning for the rock band, "Hole," headed by Courtney Love, the former wife of Kurt Cobain.

Her immediate previous boyfriend had convinced her to have a menage a trois...

It was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back and she left him.


So, the auditions are going well. But the band members keep coming up to her and saying, "you know, if you make the band, you are going to have to work with Courtney..."

That happened about 5 times. And she had just quit "menage a trois" boy and got into a wonderful loving relationship. She said, "you know what...there are more important things than rock"...and she quit the auditions.
 
Alligatorob said:
You are right, long run it doesn't really work.

One of the lesser know evils of some of the polygamous sects around here is the abandonment or driving out of many of their teenage boys. It's how they deal with the problem.

There was a good documentary made about it, here is a trailer:
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The abandonment of the boys is a horrific practice of many of the polygamous sects in Utah and Arizona. The sects are both religious and non religious. I think the more “modern” sects or even individual polygamous families are, in fact, more about the sisterhoods/friendships of the women involved and less about the men.

The tv show ”sister wives” was a somewhat typical, religious, polygamous example of an LDS/Mormon polygamous family. The family is now breaking up, but it is interesting that the male/husband says that the sons of one wife are old enough to move out and be on their own. While he has never made such claims about his daughters who need to continue to be protected. It seems the wives are more upset by the loss of a sister wife than the husband.

The show ”seeking sister wives” is extremely interesting as various individual males seem to seek polygamous relationships and their wives agree. In one of these families, a male had two “wives” and they were seeking a third. What was shocking, to me, was the fact that the WIVES married each other. This was learned in an episode when a third wife was brought into the group. It was explained when a fourth wife joined the group, the third wife would marry her.

In “seeking sister wives” the male DOES NOT WORK, all the woman do. The woman support this man who does nothing. There are no children but one of the wives is currently pregnant. This show while somewhat boring does have it moments. This revelation was one of them.
 
Aneeda72 said:
The abandonment of the boys is a horrific practice of many of the polygamous sects in Utah and Arizona.
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Yes it is awful, and the truth is Polygamy could not exist without some form of this. Not is a world with a roughly 50/50 male/female ratio.
Aneeda72 said:
In “seeking sister wives” the male DOES NOT WORK, all the woman do. The woman support this man who does nothing.
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Hmm, maybe that wouldn't be so bad...
 
OneEyedDiva said:
Oh you poor thing. What world do you live in?!! A huge number of men admit to having affairs, some only one night stands. I got to interview hundreds of men from all walks of life during my career in public health when they came to clinic or even went to their private doctors because they contracted or were exposed to sexually transmitted diseases. Most of the time the wives were clueless about what their husbands were doing. One man told me he'd had sex with several prostitutes without using a condom but used a condom with his wife. Not wanting to sound unprofessional I had to ask..."isn't that ass backwards?!" And guess what? He knew all their back stories and at least one was known to him as having HIV!!

In actuality, it is believed that monogamy goes against human nature. This is an excerpt from Psychology Today:
"Looking at monogamy from a cross-cultural perspective suggests that monogamy isn’t a universal norm. Many cultures have legal polygamy as well as prostitution. In fact, most of the patriarchs and kings of the Hebrew Bible had multiple wives and concubines as was customary of ancient Middle Eastern cultures. The early Mormons believed they were just following the Old Testament in practicing polygamy." Here's the entire article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-sheets/201904/is-monogamy-natural
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I agree. I do think that monogamy goes against human nature. Had I known and understood about polygamy, when I was younger, I think I would have been interested. I actually think, in the right situation, it’s an excellent ideal; whether there is a religious component or not. And a better situation for the children regardless if the adults involved are sane, caring, individuals; or nut cases-like the adults in all my childhood.

My father married, and divorced, at least 5 times and possibly more. There are 10 known half siblings. One child, first marriage, one child second marriage, two children third marriage, two children fourth marriage, four children fifth marriage. How much better for us to be in a polygamous family where we, the children, KNEW and supported each other.

Instead we grew up in our individual families. I was the only sibling, in the early years, who knew about the others, due to certain circumstances. I have met 7 of them, written on a limited basis to 2 others, and never met or interacted with the tenth one.

It is interesting to note that my brother, son of the third wife, refuses to acknowledge his half siblings. My fathers second son acknowledges half siblings, and looks exactly like his dad. The last son of my father also refuses to acknowledge any but his full siblings.

Serial marriages, serial divorces are very bad for children.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I'm not trying to be funny, but I found a relationship with female to be exhausting, and not exactly the most non-confrontational relationship I ever had. Women tend to be women. OMG!!!!!!!! I can't image a house full of them. If I moved in another "wife" on my ex, they'd never find my body. To be honest, I can't see "love' as the glue keeping a polygamous relationship together. I fear the glue is abuse.
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On the show Sister Wives, at the beginning, Cody says " I believe love should be multiplied" but when he was asked once about a woman having more than one husband he said "the idea makes me sick". So he doesn't really believe love should be multiplied.
 
At the risk of sounding like an over-the-hill-fuddyduddy (nah) or a hopeless romantic (absolutely not), where would they fit the concept of Love into that type of arrangement? Individuals cannot be genuinely in love with a dozen different people at the same time.
 
JaniceM said:
At the risk of sounding like an over-the-hill-fuddyduddy (nah) or a hopeless romantic (absolutely not), where would they fit the concept of Love into that type of arrangement? Individuals cannot be genuinely in love with a dozen different people at the same time.
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Hmm, well in love-probably not. But as you know “in love” is short, then its substained love, then its-ok I still like you we can make it work, then it’s therapy and we can make it work for the children, then it’s oh dear lord what did I ever see in you, and then it’s divorce or it is what it is and we will just be roommates.

Except in a plural marriage it’s you can skip me in the rotation. 😂
 
I have been watching the show for years as I found it interesting. It doesn’t appear that he ever loved Christine. The only wife he has a real relationship anymore is Robin. He is ruining his relationships with his adult kids. Polygamy isn’t for me but I don’t care what adults do.
 
Teacher Terry said:
I have been watching the show for years as I found it interesting. It doesn’t appear that he ever loved Christine. The only wife he has a real relationship anymore is Robin. He is ruining his relationships with his adult kids. Polygamy isn’t for me but I don’t care what adults do.
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How funny. I’ve watched it from the beginning and I’ve always felt that Christine was always very jealous of the others wives. Christine always felt she had the least in time, space, etc. I think it was her jealousy that’s led to the breakup.

As for Robin, she has the youngest kids. It is typical LDS poly families to lend toward care of the younger kids, and “get rid” of the older boys. He said several times how his older sons needed to be on their own and how his youngest children needed to be protected. I don’t think it has a lot to do with Robin.

Wouldn’t be surprised if with, Christine gone, he seeks another wife.
 
As for Robin, she has the youngest kids. It is typical LDS poly families to lend toward care of the younger kids, and “get rid” of the older boys. He said several times how his older sons needed to be on their own and how his youngest children needed to be protected.' I don’t think it has a lot to do with Robin.'
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ha ha...Don't tell Robin that :giggle:
 
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