Was watching Sister Wives. Just for fun,no judgement..could you live a polygamous life?

Gaer said:
Can't understand why a woman would put herself in a subjugated, subservient position, from either a church or a dominating male.
Don't watch the show,, so my opinion is from supposition. Perhaps the women are weak and need someone to take care of them.
Don't understand this way of thinking.
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Not all the women are "weak" and "subjugated". In fact, for men who are following the Islamic guidance given, they treat their wives fairly, lovingly and with respect. They are advised to consult them when important decisions are to be made. I always was very independent and my husband didn't dare try to subjugate me. In fact, the friend that had tried hard to get us together told me after my husband died that he thinks he was afraid of me. LOL I think so too. He had told at least one of his sons, who told me later that he said...don't get my wife angry! He'd seen me in action when someone upset me.

Reading about polygamy by various authors and contributors, including well educated women, even a doctor, who found the arrangement beneficial, helped me to understand that I was not weird for considering it and that it was practiced more widely than I knew. BTW...how many women in traditional marriages are subjugated, treated like the help and even abused. Check the statistics!

@Alligatorob Thank you for your positive, intelligent feedback. I'm sure your personal experience helped you understand polygamy better. For very devout Muslims, it is common practice for men and women not to congregate together. That is why you didn't see the wives. Also, believe me...my husband had many men ask him about the practice because they were considering it. He discouraged them because it's not for the faint of heart and it's no game for sure. Islam permitted, not encouraged polygamy as an emergency measure when Muslim men were killed en masse in the holy wars leaving women and children with no means of support. A man would take another wife and her family to support them. Men were not obligated to support women who were not their wives but were obligated once they married them.
 
mellowyellow said:
Why not allow Polygamy?

Because it goes against human nature - one man having sex with multiple women at once is gross. Those Sister Wives need a lobotomy.
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Oh you poor thing. What world do you live in?!! A huge number of men admit to having affairs, some only one night stands. I got to interview hundreds of men from all walks of life during my career in public health when they came to clinic or even went to their private doctors because they contracted or were exposed to sexually transmitted diseases. Most of the time the wives were clueless about what their husbands were doing. One man told me he'd had sex with several prostitutes without using a condom but used a condom with his wife. Not wanting to sound unprofessional I had to ask..."isn't that ass backwards?!" And guess what? He knew all their back stories and at least one was known to him as having HIV!!

In actuality, it is believed that monogamy goes against human nature. This is an excerpt from Psychology Today:
"Looking at monogamy from a cross-cultural perspective suggests that monogamy isn’t a universal norm. Many cultures have legal polygamy as well as prostitution. In fact, most of the patriarchs and kings of the Hebrew Bible had multiple wives and concubines as was customary of ancient Middle Eastern cultures. The early Mormons believed they were just following the Old Testament in practicing polygamy." Here's the entire article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-sheets/201904/is-monogamy-natural
 
OneEyedDiva said:
In actuality, it is believed that monogamy goes against human nature. This is an excerpt from Psychology Today:
"Looking at monogamy from a cross-cultural perspective suggests that monogamy isn’t a universal norm. Many cultures have legal polygamy as well as prostitution. In fact, most of the patriarchs and kings of the Hebrew Bible had multiple wives and concubines as was customary of ancient Middle Eastern cultures. The early Mormons believed they were just following the Old Testament in practicing polygamy." Here's the entire article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-sheets/201904/is-monogamy-natural
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However, as those who point to "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth" fail to realize is that initial goal has been accomplished many times over.
This "earth" doesn't need any more "multiplying and replenishing," and hasn't for a long time.

It's only one example of something that was said in Genesis was appropriate for its time, but not in our current world.
 
I'm not trying to be funny, but I found a relationship with female to be exhausting, and not exactly the most non-confrontational relationship I ever had. Women tend to be women. OMG!!!!!!!! I can't image a house full of them. If I moved in another "wife" on my ex, they'd never find my body. To be honest, I can't see "love' as the glue keeping a polygamous relationship together. I fear the glue is abuse.
 
Alligatorob said:
Yep, that is one of the reasons I believe it should be legal!

No doubt some do, but not all.

I have no desire for multiple wives, but I am careful not to judge the men and women who openly and as adults, enter into this kind of thing.
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Alligatorob, trying to justify an ancient Muslim Sharia law tradition in the Western world, makes zero sense, when…

On average less than 10 per cent of marriages in Arab societies are polygamous, in North Africa, Palestine, and Syria it is even less, between 3 and 5 per cent. Women in Arabic countries are fighting for their freedom, fighting against degrading and misogynistic customs, that benefit only men.

Added to the above, psychological findings reveal that wives in polygamous marriages experienced lower self-esteem, less life satisfaction and more mental health symptomatology than women in monogamous marriages. Many of the mental health symptoms were different; noteworthy were elevated somatization, depression, hostility and psychoticism.

Do your own research.
.
 
Shero said:
psychological findings reveal that wives in polygamous marriages experienced lower self-esteem, less life satisfaction and more mental health symptomatology than women in monogamous marriages. Many of the mental health symptoms were different; noteworthy were elevated somatization, depression, hostility and psychoticism.
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I suspect that is at least in part the result of abusive practices sometimes associated with polygamy. Like some of the cults here in Utah encouraging underaged girls to marry. There are other examples. I believe legalizing polygamy would bring it more out into the light of day, making it harder to hide these abuses. Fear of having the family broken up is one of the things that keeps some of our local women from speaking out. Giving these women the rights of legal marriage would also help those who want out to get out and be able to recover something from a divorce, right now they cannot.

And as I said I believe that how consenting adults lead their lives should be of little concern to the government, so long as other laws are not broken.

You are right most Muslims are not polygamous, it varies a lot by country. However the numbers are not great. I have spent time in both Kuwait and Saudi and know from experience there is a big difference, many Saudis are polygamous, though it is legal in Kuwait it is rare. I also spent time in Indonesia where polygamy is legal, but I never met anyone who practiced it.

One interesting fact is that in countries where polygamy is legal it is often practiced by members of all religions in those countries, not just Muslims. Even though most of those countries are predominantly Muslim. For example in Burkina Faso 24% of Christians live in polygamous families.

Here are some interesting statistics:
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-ta...d-to-a-few-regions/ft_2020-12-07_polygamy_01/
 
Alligatorob said:
I suspect that is at least in part the result of abusive practices sometimes associated with polygamy. Like some of the cults here in Utah encouraging underaged girls to marry. There are other examples. I believe legalizing polygamy would bring it more out into the light of day, making it harder to hide these abuses. Fear of having the family broken up is one of the things that keeps some of our local women from speaking out. Giving these women the rights of legal marriage would also help those who want out to get out and be able to recover something from a divorce, right now they cannot.

And as I said I believe that how consenting adults lead their lives should be of little concern to the government, so long as other laws are not broken.

You are right most Muslims are not polygamous, it varies a lot by country. However the numbers are not great. I have spent time in both Kuwait and Saudi and know from experience there is a big difference, many Saudis are polygamous, though it is legal in Kuwait it is rare. I also spent time in Indonesia where polygamy is legal, but I never met anyone who practiced it.

One interesting fact is that in countries where polygamy is legal it is often practiced by members of all religions in those countries, not just Muslims. Even though most of those countries are predominantly Muslim. For example in Burkina Faso 24% of Christians live in polygamous families.

Here are some interesting statistics:
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-ta...d-to-a-few-regions/ft_2020-12-07_polygamy_01/
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I disagree that this applies mainly to women in abusive polygamous relationships.
 
My family history extends back to the founding of the LDS (Mormon) church, so I never had any strong moral objections to polygamy even though the practice was banned in order to gain statehood for Utah. Some members of my family were closely associated with the church leadership, which means there are some polygamists in my own history. I do believe the practice has been used as an excuse for inexcusable behavior, the one in California City (Arizona) being an example.

Having lived most of my life in that area (southern Nevada, Utah, and a small strip of Arizona) I know of polygamist towns which have existed for decades without incident. The people who live in these towns are friendly, but don't encourage visitors for obvious reasons. The children are home schooled and do exceptionally well on the standardized state tests. Attempts to force the children into public schools in the past were met with a sharp backlash against the government officials.

I'm not going to mention the towns. Long-time residents of the area know who they are and respect their privacy. I don't know of their status for the last seven years, since I left Nevada, but I hope they are still being left in peace to practice their religion. Not something I'd be interested in, but being a libertarian I do support their right to be left alone.
 
jakbird said:
I don't know of their status for the last seven years
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Big changes in Hilldale/Short Creek/Colorado City. For the best I believe: https://www.kuer.org/arts-culture-r...ts-adapt-to-the-transformation-of-short-creek
jakbird said:
The people who live in these towns are friendly, but don't encourage visitors for obvious reasons.
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When I was younger made several trips to the Hilldale area mentioned above. They clearly didn't want me there, and I was closely watched until I left. But never threatened or anything...

There are other polygamous communities I know of in Utah that are not nearly so bad as the Hilldale bunch. I am mostly with you on the libertarian thing, if all is done by consenting adults and laws are obeyed, other than anti-polygamy, then I say live and let live. That wasn't the case with Hilldale and Warren Jeffs.
 
My niece,the one who cared for my brother until he passed,had two "husbands" for many years. The first she legally married when she was 18-he was 27. He started dating her when she was 14:rolleyes:. She took on a second "husband" when she was around 30. They all lived together on my niece`s 20 acre property in the mountains. He had his own house on the property. I can only assume she lived back and forth. This arrangement went on for about 20 years and shortly after her relationship with her second husband ended,she and her legal husband divorced. She has since married a wonderful man and I am pretty sure he will be her one and only.
 
Was born to be a polygynist though I never actually practiced it. It takes all kinds of people to make this great big world of ours. Since I am descended of David (five wives), Solomon (1,000+ wives), and Jesus (who claimed to have an endless amount of spiritual spouses), I figure that what's good for them, is also good for me. Well, mebbe in another lifetime I shall have the experience.
 
Saw a cartoon many years ago where an old guy is looking at a newspaper and says to wife" "talk about your senseless crimes, here's a guy arrested for bigamy"....
 
Alligatorob said:
I agree with this, but it ain't just men. They were not alone on those one night stands. I don't think we are particularly faithful by nature.
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Sorry Rob...just seeing your reply. You are right. When I was interviewing STD patients, I saw cheating husbands and cheating wives (or S.O.s of both). Several years ago I read a statistic that showed more wives than I imagined cheated on their spouses but the percentage of husbands doing so was still higher. According to this article updated April 2022 (an interesting read), the statistics are much lower than what I read years ago:
"Cheating is not very common at all; fewer than 25% of men admit to having cheated on their spouse, while at least 15% of women admit to having cheated on their spouse. Although these numbers might be higher than is comfortable for people who believe that cheating is always wrong, there is some comfort in knowing that not everyone cheats, no matter how common it may seem."
https://www.regain.us/advice/infide...istics-and-figures-for-infidelity-in-the-u-s/
 
OneEyedDiva said:
Several years ago I read a statistic that showed more wives than I imagined cheated on their spouses but the percentage of husbands doing so was still higher
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That is interesting, do you know how it works?

Assuming we are talking about heterosexual things the numbers should be 1:1. Or do a smaller number of women commit adultery more frequently or something?
 
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