SifuPhil
R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
- Location
- Pennsylvania, USA
And they have to put it up to their ear and loudly yell "OOWWWWWW!!!"
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Are you troubled by the heartbreak of gophers? Do you constantly find yourself tripping in gopher holes? Wish there was an easier solution than this ...
{insert video clip of woman setting gopher traps - a ridiculous number - in her yard}
... or this ...
{insert video clip of man with long hose all tangled up, trying to flood the holes}
... or even this ...
{insert video clip of thermonuclear device detonation}
???
Then it's time for you to try
GophaSuck
the world's first gopher vacuum cleaner or, as it's listed in Patent # 64,845,945 - " a system and apparatus for the removal of the undesirable species Geomyidae from urban habitats through the use of pressure-differential technology".
We know that having gophers in your yard is a potentially life-threatening situation - would YOU want your children to become orphans because you tripped in a hole? No, not at all - that would really blow.
Well, blow no more - now it's time to suck, with the amazing new
GophaSuck
Developed by a joint collaboration of a former NASA vacuum-technology engineer and a professional Mixed Martial Arts champion, GophaSuck is designed to quickly and efficiently rid you of these diseased pests. Just insert the nozzle in the hole and flip the switch - GophaSuck's revolutionary new turbine-bladed engine spins up to 46,000 RPM within 2 seconds, creating an irresistible sucking effect that even the most stubborn gopher can't resist.
Disposal is just as easy. No longer do you have to tote a pile of rodent corpses to the compost pile, all the while gazing upon their mangled little bodies - now GophaSuck handles THAT part of the job for you as well. Those same turbine blades will convert, with another flip of the switch, to a 99.9%-efficient frappe-speed postmortem dis-assembly chamber. All you do is empty the remains cup in the closest waste receptacle!
The titanium blades and Carbonix ball-bearing motor are GUARANTEED for 20 years! The hair filters are easily slipped into the dishwasher for sterilization after every hunting expedition, and the GophaSuck features a dual 120V/240V power supply so you can be ready for action any time, anywhere!
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