Weird environment: requesting input

I would make certain according to NJ law that he would be charged with aggravated assault and battery. Neither he, nor any other person has a right to lay a hand on you uninvited. This is not a case where you required medical assistance. He'd have gotten the full treatment where I am concerned.
 

JaniceM said:
I've lived all over the U.S., never encountered this before. The overall viewpoint is all unattached/unaccompanied 'females' are 'up for grabs.' One older guy summed it up a few years ago: 'When a girl says 'no,' she really means 'yes,' or she at least means 'maybe'.'
Members of the male gender take this to mean they should 'try harder' or be downright obnoxious; telling some jerk to back off is considered 'playing games,' and if you don't cooperate you're deemed 'crazy.'

During the time I've been in this city, 'verbalizings' have often been extreme. When it's physical, though, a person should not need to simply tolerate it. I'd especially like to hear from @Butterfly (legal experience) and @911 (law enforcement experience) on this- what would these actions be called, and would I be reasonable to ask/expect the landlord to evict this jerk?

As I often do, I walked to a local store. As often happens, this resulted in some difficulty breathing due to heart condition. When this occurs, my only concern is to hurry up and get back to my apartment so I can sit down.
However- a guy came out of a nearby apartment and started making inappropriate remarks; the individual who lives in the apartment approached me, grabbed onto and clutched my arm, pressed tightly up against me, and put his face in my hair. As I couldn't breathe, and it was sapping my physical strength, I couldn't pull away.
The additional concern is not knowing if either of these idiots might have covid.

This was not the first incident with this jerk. A couple of times in the past I told him to keep his hands off me, and a friend who was around at the time also told him to leave me alone. So this was not a one-time incident, it's a pattern of behavior. And I don't want to have this kind of experience again.

I thought of calling the police, but awhile back this jerk committed an unprovoked physical attack on a young woman, landed her in the hospital, and despite charges of 'willful injury causing serious bodily injury' the prosecutor 'declined to prosecute' and the charges were dismissed. Made no sense to me at all.
I thought of requesting a restraining order, but after trying for the better part of two days couldn't even find out if the courthouse is open- due to covid, city/county offices are closed.
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The guy is crazy. That's why there were no charges against him.
 
Report it to the police and ask THEM what you can do. They would know if pepper spray is legal or not and hopefully make suggestions for next time. Can you carry a cell phone? I'd be dialing 911 as he comes out of the door! I agree that anyone laying a hand on you is cause for alarm and if the police have a previous record of this, they should be sympathetic and hopefully will help you!
 
I remember reading something years back .... If you are in a situation where you need to get people's help or attention, don't scream or yell Help .... yell FIRE! ... supposedly yelling help or just screaming can scare people away.
But yelling Fire over and over will get people to pay attention and come running.

What's your opinion of that strategy @911 ?
 
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Couldn't he be considered a stalker? If so, what actions should/would be taken by police? Janice, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm sure it's frustrating and frightening. Having had a heart condition (atrial fibrillation), I know it saps the strength but sometimes you must get things done. So I understand not having the strength to fight him off. I'm SO sorry this is happening to you and sure hope that law enforcement officials will be able to do something to keep him away from you. Also, I thought restraining orders were filed at police stations...not courts (?) A friend of mine had to file a restraining order against her son and it was done at the police station...but we're in Jersey.
 
Maybe it's just me but I've noticed over the years the police seem to be more & more unwilling to do much. Not sure why. I've been trying for months to get them to do something about the people down the alley with their 4 wheelers & they keep telling me they can't catch them in the act. Soon as I call it in they pack it up. I think something is off there but they don't seem to interested in dealing with it. I don't know if that same thing is happening where she is?
 
After speaking to many women friends over the years, I am of the opinion that probably 90% of women have had unwanted sexual advances and done nothing about it for various reasons.
1. They fear not being believed
2. Fear loss of a job
3. Fear further retaliation from the male
4. Fear male will harm others close to them
Notice they all have the word FEAR in there?
This type of male counts on your fear. When I was a lot younger I, unfortunately, had several of these types of encounters.
Live and learn. In my older years I have learned to protect myself better. Pepper spray is a must. Mace is not legal but in most states you can carry pepper spray and even personal tasers. Walk with your keys in your hand. One key between your forefinger and middle finger, facing outward. A good jab should do it.😇
 
Not a fan of pepper spray. What if the wind blows wrong when you're spraying it and you end up pepper spraying yourself. I used to kick my brother hard in the shin. That made him let go of me. Sinking your fingers into the flesh between the hip and shoulder hurts like hell too.
 
RadishRose said:
Check your state's laws for defense items like pepper spray. What's illegal in one state may not be in another.
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Just looked up pepper spray legality. Legal in the 48 contiguous states. Some states with restrictions as to the amount of active ingredient and/or the non ability to purchase over the Internet. Get some!
 
Check out Defense Divas. They carry personal stun guns for women. Check legality in your state. They are legal in my state, North Carolina. They are legal in South Carolina where a friend lives with the caveat that they be carried in the open. Big deal. You would want to have it in your hand anyway when you are walking by yourself in perhaps an "iffy" situation.
 
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