Well I was going to meet someone new but

L

LoveTulips

Senior Member
Location
British Columbia, Canada
So I was going to meet a woman for coffee from a local community FB group and it was because we are both retired and looking for new friends. We were going to meet in public so obviously very safe. But all last night I was nervous about this, really, I have no reason to say why. And we were going to meet next week, but I made up an excuse that I had to go out of town and will reconnect when I get back. But actually I won't. I just had this feeling not to meet this person. Have you had any situations where you felt like that?
 

Yup, all the time. Sometimes intuition kicks in when I least expect it.

In the past, I'd push past it. Lately, I've been trying to explore it more. If I was in the situation, I would try to find out more before I made another attempt. It could be a false alarm or it could be something my conscious mind wasn't registering. I've been trying to honor that side of myself more. Sometimes it has wisdom. Sometimes it just needs more reassurance. Admittedly, I'm not good at it.
 
Did you sense any red flags?
If so, then those are often worth paying attention to.

Do you have any definite common interests with her, to lean on while first getting to know someone?

Perhaps you'd feel better going someplace that you might interact with new people in person, instead? So you could observe them a bit first?
Such as a group or activity or place of interest to you?
 
LoveTulips said:
I just had this feeling not to meet this person. Have you had any situations where you felt like that?
Click to expand...

When I was younger I'd get feelings like that about going certain ways home, but I always made myself do it anyway so I wouldn't become superstitious/weird.

Meeting people though is scary, because unless you know people who know them, there is nothing to judge by (because bad people are so good at seeming okay).
 
I can relate to your situation. I met a lady on a grief recovery chat room and we agreed to meet for lunch. Neither of us had dated in 40 years. I felt as nervous as a 15 year old.
Well, one lunch led to another...... we will be celebrating our 17th anniversary this year.
 
Kaila said:
Did you sense any red flags?
If so, then those are often worth paying attention to.

Do you have any definite common interests with her, to lean on while first getting to know someone?

Perhaps you'd feel better going someplace that you might interact with new people in person, instead? So you could observe them a bit first?
Such as a group or activity or place of interest to you?
Click to expand...
I think that's it. I think I would prefer meeting her in a group first. I can't say why for sure. Anyways I go with my gut nowadays.
 
So this is a platonic friendship situation between two women, right? If this is the case and your gut is telling you something feels off, then I'd listen to it. If it wouldn't be like that meeting other people, you sensed that something's not right and I try my best to listen to my intuition.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top