What annoys you the most

All I meant was, @grahamg was Our children are not born with the job of loving us in return. Children aren't born with jobs.
I'm not impressed with Dr. Morita. Don't know who he is. Do know parents and children, myself and mine included and I know what works and what doesn't. Generally speaking.
I really have great sympathy for you, my friend. I wish you could find peace in this horrible situation you're in, but I don't think you will find that with the beliefs you hold on to with all your might & strength.
Before you choose to completely close your mind perhaps you should just read the other side of this very important argument, and whether you do or not I will never leave it be when I read comments like, "its all about the child", (and in the process are harming, parent, child, and society as a whole perhaps, by making the children more self centred, and in so many other ways doing them and their families harm I believe, and condemning another generation of fathers to the undermining of their position in the child's life by those wishing to do this). Please keep your sympathy, sorry to be harsh with you again, because if I could I would have sympathy for you, but more so those harmed by or in the process of supporting an unjust system.
https://www.firstthings.com/article/1995/08/abandoning-children-to-their-rights

Another vey long link or website on the subject, Professor Akira Morita contributing I believe:
https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/217059613.pdf

Quote:
"As Morita observed in 1999, this "new doctrine put the family in the position of mere caregivers, bound to the observance of the child's rights."
Break
"Capacities and maturity (of children) vary drastically from individual to individual; the document does not outline a standard by which the capacities of the child may be measured. In addition, the document fails to specify who determines what constitutes the "best" interests of the child. To those who interpret the document on the basis of parental distrust, it would be the state that would determine best interests. To those who uphold an organic understanding of the parent-child relationship, it would be the parent. However, as UN documents created since 1989 have demonstrated, the former interpretation seems to currently be in favor in international policy making circles."
 

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We get that here also. People throw out carpets, mattresses, old stoves and fridges they don’t want to take to the garbage dump but the worst by far are the hunters that hunt the animals and leave are the parts they don’t want at the side of the road. 🤢
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww gross about the animal parts - I am going to vomit the cookie I just ate!
 
sorry I don't understand your comment ?:unsure:... we have lap trays which are made of non slip silicone which we eat from in front of the tv .. I was suggesting that for @Murrmurr 's grandaughter...
Camper6 is making the point that someday (soon, probably) she won't even come to have dinner with grampa anymore. And that's true so I don't make TOO big a deal about the crumbs. But I do have her clean them up with me.
 
All I meant was, @grahamg was Our children are not born with the job of loving us in return. Children aren't born with jobs.

This is an extract from the linked article above, (link repeated here again), shedding more light upon the suggestions being put forward concerning children, (do try to digest all this if you wish to continue to impugn Professor Akira Morita, and profess your understandable wishes for the best for all children everywhere):
https://www.firstthings.com/article/1995/08/abandoning-children-to-their-rights

"American society has long been committed to protecting and developing its children, as the existence of the nation’s public schools and juvenile courts demonstrates. The concept of minority legal status has also protected children from their own temporary lack of capacity. Rather than discriminating against children, this tradition gives them advantages designed to protect them from abuse and nurture them toward maturity.

Not until the early 1970s did the first Kiddie Libbers appear, arguing for the first time that children “are autonomous individuals, entitled to the same rights as adults.” This assertion relied not on new evidence that young people have adult-like capacity, but on the liberationist ideology that kids are people too. This ideology drew support from Supreme Court opinions in the 1960s that recognized rudimentary constitutional rights for public school students and other children.

But child autonomy claims have not really carried the day in American law. Supreme Court Justice Lewis Powell captured the collective judgment of American courts and legislatures in 1979 when he wrote that “the peculiar vulnerability of children, their inability to make critical decisions in an informed, mature manner, and the importance of the parental role in child rearing” together justify “the conclusion that the constitutional rights of children cannot be equated with those of adults.”

Break

"Among the fundamental axioms of American law is the doctrine that the parent-child relationship antedates the state just as natural individual rights antedate the state in the Constitution’s political theory. Parents are not trustees who receive authority to rear their children through delegations of state power over children. Rather, as the Supreme Court held in distinguishing biological parents from foster parents, the natural parent-child tie is “a relationship having origins entirely apart from the power of the State,” while a foster placement arranged by state agents “has its source in state law and contractual arrangements.” Because of this principle, the Court has said, “the child is not the mere creature of the State,” and the social structure-partly in order to limit state power-presupposes a system of family units, not just a mass of isolated individuals who all stand in the same relationship to the state.

Agents of the state in America have thus never had authority to intervene in the child-parent relationship until they establish jurisdiction through formal proceedings: divorce-related custody issues; adoptions; findings of serious parental unfitness, neglect, abuse, or abandonment; or child misbehavior severe enough to require state intervention."

"Article Nine of the CRC, however, provides that children may be separated from parents when “such separation is necessary for the best interests of the child.” Articles Three and Eighteen add that while “parents have the primary responsibility for the upbringing and development of the child,” the “best interests of the child will be [parents’] basic concern.”

Does this mean that any parental care that falls short of serving the child’s “best interests” is sufficiently flawed to trigger intervention? Could a child trigger state intervention merely by requesting state review of the “reasonableness” of parental conduct compared to the child’s view of his or her best interests?"

Break

"The CRC’s developmental language reflects perfectly desirable psychological aspirations that do not (and, like hopeful but unenforceable expressions of a child’s “right” to be loved, cannot) mirror legal reality."

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"But some adults who want to liberate children are not as motivated by children’s interests as by their own interests-some ideological and some that merely serve adult convenience. Adults face a conflict of interest in thinking about autonomy for children. When they disengage themselves from the arduous task of rearing and teaching children in the name of increasing children’s autonomy, adults’ actual-even if not fully conscious-purpose may be to increase their own autonomy by freeing themselves from the burdens of providing meaningful care. Even worse, some pro-child autonomy claims are merely a smokescreen intended to protect the interests of adults who profit from such claims while indirectly exploiting the actual interests of children.

In addition, a growing clamor over legal rights for children may create the illusion that parents, teachers, and other adults owe children only what the law demands of them. The increased appearance of autonomy for children becomes then essentially the default position that results from reducing our sense of adult responsibility for children. The assertion that untutored, unguided children already enjoy all the autonomy they need may relieve adults of demanding obligations, but that assertion is ultimately a profound form of child neglect. Children cannot raise themselves."

Another major concern with the autonomy-based approach of the CRC is its failure to distinguish between state paternalism and parental paternalism. By assuming a direct relationship between children and the state, the CRC could have the effect of reducing parental commitments to childrearing while concurrently increasing the dependency of children on the state. To the extent that governmental policies foster noncommittal attitudes on the part of parents, either because parents believe they have no right to give direction to their children or because they fear that in giving them direction they might meet state-supported resistance, both the children of those families and the larger society will suffer.

For most parents, the “rights” of parenthood leave them no alternative but an assumption of parental responsibility, because that responsibility, both by nature and by law, can be assumed by no one else until the parent has failed. But when state-enforced policies undermine traditional parental rights, those same policies will inevitably undermine the assumption of parental responsibility. To undermine parental initiative is not wise when society has found no realistic alternative to it. Indeed, it may be that children have a right to policies that require parental accountability. Yet contemporary society reveals increasing adult indifference toward the nurturing of children. The CRC’s attitude only exacerbates this tendency.

There is great irony in the observation of Akira Morita, a Japanese legal scholar who has studied the CRC’s drafting process.
Professor Morita found that after a decade of leisurely discussion, the CRC’s hastily composed 1988 draft-particularly its emphasis on child autonomy-resulted from “a hurried compilation of the then current discussions as heavily impacted by the growing momentum toward the end of the Cold War. In other words, the ‘civil rights and liberties of the child’ was a child of the ideological victory of the United States over the USSR.” In his view, the impending collapse of total state paternalism in the Soviet Union helped convince the drafters that they should accept the anti-paternalistic ideology of the CRC. The drafters thus significantly confused state paternalism with family paternalism, for the Western liberal tradition has long viewed strong familial authority as a primary check on excessive state power. Nonetheless, the anti-paternalistic flavor of the times helped lead the drafters “in the final phase of deliberations in Geneva” to “defeat an attempted resistance by the representative of West Germany who tried to defend the traditional paternalistic structure of child and family law in Western society.”
 
Trying to open plastic packaging.
YES! I complain about that constantly. Not just the packaging, but the sealed covering on bottle under the cap. Thank the Lord for forks.....I have to stab it to open them. Plus the bottles that are child safe, but a child can open them easier than I can. My Listerine sits on my shelf with the cap not tightened because I cannot squeeze it to open it.
 
YES! I complain about that constantly. Not just the packaging, but the sealed covering on bottle under the cap. Thank the Lord for forks.....I have to stab it to open them. Plus the bottles that are child safe, but a child can open them easier than I can. My Listerine sits on my shelf with the cap not tightened because I cannot squeeze it to open it.
My prescription pills all have an easy open cap. My Listerine is the same and hubby knows NOT to close it.
 
"Background" music which isn't!
Good point here Laurie. For the last year or so I have come across a lot of films that have this background music (noise to me) that really bothers me. I believe this to be noise pollution. It's the same as watching a news channel that has 2 or 3 lines running across the bottom of the screen & at the same time a couple of bars running on the right side. It seems that there is no end to this visual pollution. CNN started this madness years ago. Now, CBC here in Canada is following like a little sheep. It's disgusting. I prefer to watch my news on the internet with speakers off.
 
When I go shopping for groceries, which is seldom, there are always these immigrants that are pushing around big trollys & getting in my way. They are filling in orders for home delivery of groceries or maybe curbside pickup but they sure get in my way. Our local, Superstore, here in Canada might have a dozen or so of these people pushing their trolleys & the people are looking at their smartphones & picking up groceries. Wish they would do it when the store is closed to regular shopping. Shopping for groceries is getting frustrating. Yet, every darn store wants you to do some survey of "HOW ARE WE DOING TODAY."
 
People who park in the disabled bays because they believe that laziness and stupidity are disabilities.

Also people who think that because you're in a wheelchair they can ask you anything including questions of a personal nature. I mean would you normally walk up to a stranger and ask if they can have sex? Yes, believe it or not I have been asked that question.
 
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Another pet peeve of mine is on the internet when I go to a website that has videos that automatically start playing. Ads popping up all over the place. Now I have an adblocker and a pop up will appear asking me to disable it.......which I won't. Some will let you still read the article but it they don't I just leave. It is worth it to me not to have the ads along the side. Hard for me to get through the article when they are there. Also most blogs and websites have a pop up that wants my email address and for me to sign up for their newsletter. I will not do that either. I have gotten rid of most of the ones I ever signed up for. I also never allow notifications from sites or social media to come to my email.
 


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