What are some of your favorite quotes that make you smile or laugh outloud?

Mine at the moment is "Don't argue with stupid people! You are not a jackass whisperer!" I don't know why but this just makes me smile and I usually don't use this type of language but I guess it is okay since it refers to an animal.:love_heart:
 

confucius104563.jpg
 

Don't think I have a favourite quote , but Groucho Marx's line [from one of their films] is pretty good 'That's so simple, a child of 5 could do it........ Go fetch me a child of 5! ' It's what I feel like when faced with techie things beyond my scope.My grandson can do things like find his fave Thomas The Tank Engine film on the iPad, in a heartbeat , and he's younger than my toaster [he is two and a half !]
 


Very nice.

When I was much younger, I had a book that contained a great deal of quotes, I like most, but couldn't quote them accurately if I wanted to, but, one that comes to mind, not of a serious nature.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me". Mae West.

It just cracks me up only because it's humorous, not something I would take to heart. Miss West always gets a giggle out of me. I'm also a fan of Groucho Marx in the humour department of quotes.
 
A good one [and reputedly a true quote] not sure who, maybe Winston Churchill? Said by annoyed female dinner guest 'if you were my husband I would slip arsenic into your tea' and the reply? 'Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it!'
 
A good one [and reputedly a true quote] not sure who, maybe Winston Churchill? Said by annoyed female dinner guest 'if you were my husband I would slip arsenic into your tea' and the reply? 'Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it!'

Another in this same historical vein I think is attributed to Benjamin Disraeli: A political opponent of Disraeli said to him, "Sir, you will die of a pox or upon the gallows."
Disraeli replied, "That depends, sir, on whether I embrace your mistress or your principles."
 
My Dad used to say: "I'm in good shape...for the shape I'm in".:) ...he also would say "If we had some bacon, we could have bacon and eggs...if we had some eggs".:)
 

Back
Top