A dear friend turned 70 last Monday, we sent her a couple of dubious birthday cards but because of the restrictions we couldn't get to see her. The lady, and my wife, are more like sisters than friends, how they have missed one another during lockdown.
This morning I suggested that I go out and buy a small bottle of cognac, the lady's favourite tipple, and we go and see her this evening with her belated birthday gift. My wife was delighted by that and then gave me a short list of other needs whilst I was buying the booze.
At the store's customer service desk, I asked the lady assistant where the cotton wool was and also, could she tell me where they kept the Mascarpone. "Follow me," she said. As we go off to the shelves, a rather largish lady went past, doing her shopping, she was a big girl and her skimpy shorts left ample buttock cleavage on display. The store assistant gave me a smirk, "I didn't look," I lied. Then added, "well it certainly draws the attention."
The assistant's answer was quite a shock. "My dear," she said, "you are the one who draws attention," then added, "we all know you as the fellow with the shirts." What do I say to that? Have I been complimented? When I explained that my wife makes them she answered, "your wife has just got to be the lady with the red hair who looks like she has just stepped off a 1940's film set."
I had to laugh, "right first time," I replied, "but at least you've never seen her buttocks. We both laughed. So what do you think was the shirt that upstaged a cheese cutter pair of skimpy shorts?
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