What are you doing today?

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I slept "late" and didn't roll outta bed until 5:15.

Today is laundry. There are a few rose bushes that need to be cut back. The lawn wants to be mowed. The Christmas tree wants to be put up.

I'd rather sit around on my keister.
 

Sunny today.. getting nagged by my daughter to go out and see some street Christmas decorations... not with her but on my own..she doesn't have the time and she lives far away..

She's trying to get me to leave the house.. but it's no fun on your own.. really!! :confused:

I may go and see some Xmas decorations at some point 🎄.. or I may not.. but not tonight..

Sun is shining.. ..I might start getting the Christmas Decs out of the Barn.. otherwise no specific plans for today.. :D
 
Assembling the aforementioned Christmas tree. Prelit, my arse! All they did was wind the lights around branches making it impossible to "fluff" it out so I had to take the lights off. The way they strung them also made it impossible to even put the top and bottom parts together. The jury is still out, but I haven't put the lights back on yet. So far "We are not amused," said the Queen.

I gotta go move the clean clothes to the dryer, load up the washer, etc.

Already tired, and it's only 8:30. Maybe another cup of coffee?
 
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Blessed said:
Yes the brain bleed started from the fall. He got to the hospital there were no signs of it,they did a scan everyday, I reviewed the records. it was the day he was supposed to come home. He called me about 5 in the morning and asked when I was coming to get him. I got there and he was wierd, asking crazy questions, is this our home? He went out of the room, our house is really big, I where are you going, to BIL room, I honey he is not here. Still he was able to answer every question the doctor asked.

I told the doctor something is wrong, I don''t care that he can answer your questions, they took him down, ran the scans and there it was, the bleed. They sent him up to ICU. They said, because he had a incurable cancer I should not do anything.

After talking to the family they convinced me to have him transferred to a hospital where a neurosurgeon could operate on the bleed. I did get him home for a few weeks after surgery. Now I see that was the wrong decision.I made him suffer for about 12 weeks until he passed. I just could not let him go, I had to do, try anything to keep him but the truth, I see now I just made the suffering worse, I prolonged everything because of me,, he is the one who had to go through the nightmare, it still haunts me.
What I did was about me and our son, I had no idea how much he would suffer by my decision. I pray I will never be in that position again.

I think that is why I am so destroyed, messed up 12 years later, I just can't let go of what I did for selfish reasons.

That is why I say dont wait, if you feel ill, see a doctor, call an ambulance, don't take a chance. Take care of yourself. We had help right away, it can still go wrong.
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I am so sorry you blame yourself for his suffering. It saddens me so much. But please understand others have been in the same position and done the same thing. It’s not selfish it’s love. Not just your love but the families love. The families need. But you know all this.

I was/am in a similar situation; always making life and death situations for my Joey. Open heart surgery at 9 months. Hospitalizations after hospitalizations, surgeries, procedures, and on and on and still on and on. Keeping him here. Not letting him go.

When Joey had Covid and was in the hospital, I consulted with my son and daughter. They wanted me to sign a DNR/DNI order. It is hard to explain, to understand. They felt this was his time to die. His time to avoid long Covid (which he has): His time to escape the emotional pain of my dying. Because we are so close, Joey and I. Also My older children didn’t want him to become less than he was. Didn’t want him to change. Didn’t want Covid to rob him of what he could do. I suppose there was also a component of who will care for him when you are gone present. I ordered the form.

Didn’t sign it. Couldn’t do it. Told doctor to what they could and luckily he never needed to be intubated. Just had him in the hospital recently as I posted. Because we hold those we love as close as we can and there is no fault in that, no blame, no guilt in my opinion.

And I have done this with three other disabled sons, who died as infants. And my other three living children. Two who have disabilities and are “normal”, and one who is totally disabled. I hope I didn’t/haven’t make their suffering worst.

But @Blessed I understand. And since I’ve made a similar decision, several times, I think you made the correct decision. I wish you peace and love.
 
Just in case anybody is wishing they could do something different with Christmas decorating...one year I took the artwork off the downstairs walls and wrapped all the pictures in Christmas gift wrap. No idea what motivated me to do that, but in subsequent years, a whole bunch of my relatives started doing the same thing.

You just gotta be careful at the corners of the frames where the paper is prone to tear.

There is no charge for this seasonal decorating tip.

Tree assembled (minus lights) and standing on shelf behind sofa. Mmmm...don't think I like it. It's rose gold tinsel and was so jaw-dropping pretty in the store. Sigh. It was an impulse buy. Think I'm gonna take it back and just use the little tree I've had for years.

Trouble with taking it back is that it came from Walmart, and returning it means a trip to Walmart. Ugh.
 
Thinking about going out to buy a new Christmas wreath for the outside. The old one isn't looking too well anymore.

Lots of cleaning to do and I want to wash bedding.

Vet said my dog's little bump on the side of her nose is probably an infection, so we started an antibiotic regime to last 2 weeks.

Everyone, have a great day. 🐶 🌹
 
hiraeth2018 said:
It's 10 am on a Friday... just like yesterday or the day before or the day before that... but wait!
TODAY some excitement! I am having a gas insert placed into my wood burning fireplace. I'm sure "we" have many opinions here about what is better to burn but I am soooooo looking forward to not having to storing wood, chopping my own kindling, tracking wood chips, dirt and critters into my living room! With the cost of $150-250 per cord of wood here I am bowing down to the convenience of clicking a button and presto... clean fire and warmth for the damp winter here on the NW Pacific coast!
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Later, I am going to a friend's home to play Mexican Train dominoes for a few hours.
 
Granddaughters’ birthday supper was on Tuesday……her little cousin was there, they’re only a few months apart….they were having fun doing all the little girl things.
I’m not there very much, but sadly I have to prepare myself for the state the house is always in…..not just from the birthday, but all the time, seems like…..sorry for this…..just like a pig pen.
She used to be a better housekeeper, but that’s’ gone down the tubes a long time ago.
Try to find a fairly clean place to sit…..none there….food, drinks spilled and stuck to things, I always bring something to wear on my feet, the floor is filthy.
She has a double sink in the kitchen…..I’ve never seen it……there’s always stuff in it, not necessarily clean…..she uses a dishwasher, but nothing seems clean.
This is the third house they’ve lived in since they moved here 5 years ago…..the first one, she kept up…..the second one they trashed…..this one is going the same route…..front panel of the stove is off, broken, fronts of the drawers broken off, all sorts of damage, carpet in bedrooms, i don’t think they ever get vacuumed or cleaned…..marker, crayon all over the cupboards and walls….sorry, but there is no excuse for this……she doesn’t work……2 kids are in school, one 4 year old at home.
Because they never shovel snow, just tramp over it, driveway is uphill a bit, I did my best to walk against a vehicle for support, but I still slipped……did I tell her I slipped……nope, can’t be bothered, because it never changes.
She hasn’t had my X there for anything for a 2 or 3 years…..but he was there this time….. broke into tears, I didn’t need that, so along with the ice, filth, I only stayed about an hour and a half.

Was nice to see the kids, haven seen them for a while…..even though they only live 10 or 11 blocks away.

I think he may be there on Christmas Day…..how am I going to deal with that…..don’t know…..so much hurt.

Sorry for this complaining post.

So, why was he there this time……I’m guessing…..maybe he’s driving the boys to school…...so she probably had him for supper for that reason…..have been without a vehicle for 4 months.
They drive their vehicle till it’s trashed…..then have to save to get another one…..this has happened 4 times since they’ve been in town.
They borrow vehicles from others and or get rides…..even for long distance….they borrow a vehicle to drive to Walmart, an hour away,
To do weekly shopping…..I think this is so irresponsible, 3 kids and no vehicle.
It doesn’t sound they’ll have one any time soon.
Really is very sad. 🙁😟🙁.
 
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MickaC said:
Granddaughters’ birthday supper was on Tuesday……her little cousin was there, they’re only a few months apart….they were having fun doing all the little girl things.
I’m not there very much, but sadly I have to prepare myself for the state the house is always in…..not just from the birthday, but all the time, seems like…..sorry for this…..just like a pig pen.
She used to be a better housekeeper, but that’s’ gone down the tubes a long time ago.
Try to find a fairly clean place to sit…..none there….food, drinks spilled and stuck to things, I always bring something to wear on my feet, the floor is filthy.
She has a double sink in the kitchen…..I’ve never seen it……there’s always stuff in it, not necessarily clean…..she uses a dishwasher, but nothing seems clean.
This is the third house they’ve lived in since they moved here 5 years ago…..the first one, she kept up…..the second one they trashed…..this one is going the same route…..front panel of the stove is off, broken, fronts of the drawers broken off, all sorts of damage, carpet in bedrooms, i don’t think they ever get vacuumed or cleaned…..marker, crayon all over the cupboards and walls….sorry, but there is no excuse for this……she doesn’t work……2 kids are in school, one 4 year old at home.
Because they never shovel snow, just tramp over it, driveway is uphill a bit, I did my best to walk against a vehicle for support, but I still slipped……did I tell her I slipped……nope, can’t be bothered, because it never changes.
She hasn’t had my X there for anything for a 2 or 3 years…..but he was there this time….. broke into tears, I didn’t need that, so along with the ice, filth, I only stayed about an hour and a half.

Was nice to see the kids, haven seen them for a while…..even though they only live 10 or 11 blocks away.

I think he may be there on Christmas Day…..how am I going to deal with that…..don’t know…..so much hurt.

Sorry for this complaining post.
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I don't blame you for pouring this out @MickaC ! It's pretty rough what this visit was like. Make yourself a nice cup of coffee and Go "window shopping" on the Internet. 🌹
 
MickaC said:
Granddaughters’ birthday supper was on Tuesday……her little cousin was there, they’re only a few months apart….they were having fun doing all the little girl things.
I’m not there very much, but sadly I have to prepare myself for the state the house is always in…..not just from the birthday, but all the time, seems like…..sorry for this…..just like a pig pen.
She used to be a better housekeeper, but that’s’ gone down the tubes a long time ago.
Try to find a fairly clean place to sit…..none there….food, drinks spilled and stuck to things, I always bring something to wear on my feet, the floor is filthy.
She has a double sink in the kitchen…..I’ve never seen it……there’s always stuff in it, not necessarily clean…..she uses a dishwasher, but nothing seems clean.
This is the third house they’ve lived in since they moved here 5 years ago…..the first one, she kept up…..the second one they trashed…..this one is going the same route…..front panel of the stove is off, broken, fronts of the drawers broken off, all sorts of damage, carpet in bedrooms, i don’t think they ever get vacuumed or cleaned…..marker, crayon all over the cupboards and walls….sorry, but there is no excuse for this……she doesn’t work……2 kids are in school, one 4 year old at home.
Because they never shovel snow, just tramp over it, driveway is uphill a bit, I did my best to walk against a vehicle for support, but I still slipped……did I tell her I slipped……nope, can’t be bothered, because it never changes.
She hasn’t had my X there for anything for a 2 or 3 years…..but he was there this time….. broke into tears, I didn’t need that, so along with the ice, filth, I only stayed about an hour and a half.

Was nice to see the kids, haven seen them for a while…..even though they only live 10 or 11 blocks away.

I think he may be there on Christmas Day…..how am I going to deal with that…..don’t know…..so much hurt.

Sorry for this complaining post.
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I have never understood why people don’t keep their houses clean. Makes me shutter. But lots of folks are like this. This is why, when people brought home made treats to work, I couldn’t eat them. I didn’t know what their kitchens looked like.

Sorry it was such a bitter sweet time for you. Hopefully he won’t be there at Christmas. But complain all you want, I certainly do. 😊.
 
Aneeda72 said:
I have never understood why people don’t keep their houses clean. Makes me shutter. But lots of folks are like this. This is why, when people brought home made treats to work, I couldn’t eat them. I didn’t know what their kitchens looked like.

Sorry it was such a bitter sweet time for you. Hopefully he won’t be there at Christmas. But complain all you want, I certainly do. 😊.
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Sometimes, it has to do with depression. I don't know much about depression but learning because my husband has it. It takes a lot of understanding, being understanding and sometimes stepping in to help.
 
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