What are your triggers? The things that set you off the most.

Ok. We all have things that tend to stretch our tolerance to the max. Currently exacerbated by Covid. For example, I find myself increasingly annoyed by people who are constantly angry and self centred. Bad enough before the plague, now, potentially lethal, particularly if they refuse to wear masks, or practice social distancing. Of course, raging men trigger me big time even without the present virus restrictions. Frankly, I am not pleased with anyone who seems to be a temper looking for a tantrum. It can result in violence or worse.
 

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"A temper looking for a tantrum!" 😂 😂 I've never heard that expression before, but you can be sure I'm going to steal it!!

Negative people make me crazy. While I'm not rainbows and unicorns about everything, I do tend towards optimism, and I'm always realistic. I look for the upside to any situation, no matter how upsetting or dire. But man, my ex was one of the most negative people I've ever met!! e.g. if a car repair came out less than quoted "well, they're obviously using cheap material and did a shoddy job." If it came out more "they've padded their price and overcharged us." If it was on the nose "they"ve done a mediocre job and it'll just break again." He was like this about everything! :mad:

Self centered/selfish/self focused/narcissistic people are very triggering for me. I am sometimes astounded at the lack of sensitivity to others that some folks exhibit! I find it both embarrassing if I witness it happening to a friend and angered at the apparent callousness, while at the same time I experience those physiological symptoms I associate with being genuinely triggered. A lifetime of experience though has taught me, for the most part, to differentiate between genuinely self focused/narcissistic type people, and those who are just thoughtless in that moment. The former is a chronic pattern of behavior, the latter is an accident.
 
People who have no consideration for the health of others, who do not wear a mask, and those that had a mask on but because I have one on, decide its ok to take theirs off because I have one on. Additionally those that challenge the decision by others to simply wear a mask. It's all very disturbing.
 

"Othering" and our polarized society, especially self-righteousness in the guise of tolerance. Part of my young, city years were spent at an inner city Methodist church (Wells UMC) with a very liberal mindset for that place and time. Our pastor, Keith Tonkel, warned us repeatedly that it was easy to judge the obviously self-righteousness against progress but in the process, we ourselves were becoming self-righteousness. That was twenty plus years ago and the problem has only worsened on both 'sides,' especially this year.

Keith passed away several years ago. :( He left a wonderful legacy for those who knew him. I only wish he had written an instruction manuel so others could learn from his love and wisdom. He did publish a couple of volumes of poetry.

One of Keith's untitled poems:

Labels divide.
We should not be afraid
to declare our points of view
to give names to our ideas.

All too often, however,
we force people into labels:
Liberal or conservative,
fundamentalist or evangelical
faithful or sinful,
something or nothing,
and countless shades of in between.

Excuse my reluctance
to buy neat categories.
I find myself
some of this,
and that,
and the other.

Which, they say,
Makes me ‘suspect.’
Suspect I am,
for my head and heart
will not allow
the confining definitions.

I’m more of one thing
than the other,
and choose to live
In a strong faith and value place.

Definitions don’t define,
and designations don’t explain,
and labels don’t describe.

Not to me,
not in matters of the head
and heart.
Wear your label
if you must,
I can live
in the ‘exodus’ space.
 
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I am not pleased with anyone who seems to be a temper looking for a tantrum. It can result in violence or worse.

Who? Moi?

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(Hee hee)
I can do this because Shali has me on ignore

I still like her though
 
All of the protesting, with looting and setting fires, that is done by young folks. Protesting is one thing, but looting and burning is another.

And then, blame everything on law enforcement. Call 911, nobody answers, THEN how will you feel???
 
I respectfully submit that the opposite of "angry and self-centered" is "calm and self-sacrificing". May we each try to find it in ourselves to have a calm, understanding, self-sacrificing heart during these difficult times.
Ohhhh. Thank you for that, it made me tear up. I am touched by your humanity. I have had a gruelling work week, this put things in perspective and lifted me up. 🤗
 
Yup, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said to my husband “could you just for once take responsibility for something you’ve done?” Nope never. Now, instead of him giving me one of his excuses for what happened; when he starts I list all the ”pat” excuses he uses and I ask him to choose which one he wants to use this time.

He looks at me, shakes his head, and walks away muttering under his breathe. This has cut down on a lot of our arguments. 🤓
 
All of the protesting, with looting and setting fires, that is done by young folks. Protesting is one thing, but looting and burning is another.

And then, blame everything on law enforcement. Call 911, nobody answers, THEN how will you feel???
So does showing compassion and understanding for law breakers trigger you @ClassicRockr
 
All of the protesting, with looting and setting fires, that is done by young folks. Protesting is one thing, but looting and burning is another.
It’s not just young folks Cody. Yeah they’re certainly in the majority but I’ve seen countless photos in which middle aged and senior fools were right there along with the youngsters.

Foolishness, stupidity, irresponsibility, arrogance etc don’t have age limits 😉
 
- Those who think they're better than everyone (and act/practice it)
- Rude people
- People who pretend you can count on them during times of need, but when push comes to shove you learn that you can't
- People, who while shopping, act and do as if they are the only ones in the isle and store! MAJOR trigger for me!
 
I respectfully submit that the opposite of "angry and self-centered" is "calm and self-sacrificing". May we each try to find it in ourselves to have a calm, understanding, self-sacrificing heart during these difficult times.
@Tommy , you are on target with your post! Thank you. In my own case, I do try not to react, in a knee-jerk kind of way, but rather to respond in a settled sort of way. I don't always succeed, but when I do I find the results to be quite rewarding.
 
Oh, yes!!!! Especially family groups that walk side by side and spread out over the whole aisle when one in the group stops for something.
I was following a woman who was walking without a shopping cart, and she knew darned well that I was right hot on her heels, but do you think she'd step to the side for me push past her with my cart? Nope.

So what does the woman proceed to do? She walks straight down the isle (dead centre) as if she was looking for attention, and when I go to push past her, she pretends that she's surprised by my presence and says "oh, excuse me" and apologies, and as I give her a smug look, she proceeds to say to me, "and you can apologize to me, too".

Not likely I thought, as I pushed on.
 
My trigger is when someone brings up something that supposedly happened 40 years ago and makes an accusation without any proof.

Come on man. 40 years ago and you bring it up now? And when I say why didn't you say something 40 years ago, the reply is, I just found out about it. And the source? They can't tell you because it's a secret. Go away. Do not pass Jail, do not collect $200.00.
 
Takes a lot to set me off (assuming that means pushing me to fight mode), but what frustrates me the most and can ruin my day (for about 15 minutes) is when people don't listen to me - dismiss everything I say because I'm old, when they should listen to me because I'm old. It's like it doesn't even occur to them that I have experience and knowledge. I don't understand how people can think their lives are so unique when in fact nothing is happening to them that hasn't happened before.
 

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