What did your Mother teach you?

OysterBay

OysterBay

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My mom is a 90 year-old invalid with dementia now. But before she became a vegetable, she taught me many things.
Like how to bake the best effin stuffed mushrooms EVER. And that proper grammar is important and, Love is Pain. Pain is Love.

What did Your mother teach You?
 

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My mother was sitting on a porch having ice tea with the neighbor lady.

Lady: Did you see the ring my Mother gave me? extends hand

Mother: My, that's nice.

Lady: And did you see the new car my husband bought for my birthday?

Mother: My, that's nice.

Lady: Oh, and we're all going on a European vacation!

Mother: My, that's nice.

Lady: So what has your family done for you lately?

Mother: Well they sent me for etiquette lessons so I can say "My, that's nice," instead of "F**k you."
 
She taught me cause and effect: "See, I told you not to do that but you just had to go ahead and do it anyway and look what happened!"

She taught me about anticipation: "Just wait til your father comes hone!"

She taught me about logic: "When you blow your hands off with those firecrackers, don't come running to me to kiss them!"

She taught me about genetics: "You're just like your father!"

She taught me about agriculture: "Your ears are so dirty, you could grow potatoes in there!"

She taught me about hygiene: "Always wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a car and are taken to the hospital."
 

By watching her, I learned to speak softly and always behave like a lady. That some things are better left unsaid.
Move gracefully. smile often. Be gentle. Work hard and well. Be strong. "Remember, You come from strong stock!"
She was so often mistaken for Gene Tierney. Here's her Picture.
 

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Gaer said:
By watching her, I learned to speak softly and always behave like a lady. That some things are better left unsaid.
Move gracefully. smile often. Be gentle. Work hard and well. Be strong. "Remember, You come from strong stock!"
She was so often mistaken for Gene Tierney. Here's her Picture.
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Wow, Gaer, your mom was not only beautiful, but she was a classy lady! In our culture, we say "The apple falls from the apple tree." Which means, you take after your mother in so many ways. Thanks for sharing! :)
 
To be kind to your neighbors. Like, every time a neighbor was under the weather, she'd send us kids over with a basket of hot food and a few treats. I remember standing there giving big sighs while she filled the basket, and my brother not letting me take a detour while we were on our way over. I hated those walks to the sick neighbors even though the people were always so grateful and nice about it. But then my mom got sick, after my sister was born, and all the neighbors showed up with food, and to clean the house, and they did our shopping and stuff. That changed my attitude.
 
Mama taught me that family is about more then bloodlines.
She cared for my 3 half sisters same as she did me, including how she reacted to anything we said/did being entirely dependent on her moods.

But she could be fun, when in a good mood. And she was proud to consider herself grandma to my sisters' children including the 3 stepsons one of them took on when she married. Those boys were about the same ages as the girls had been when Mama took them on. My nephews had also been in a 'Children's Home' same as my sisters had been. In many ways that sister, the youngest of them, took after Mom more than i did once grown.

And Mama was closer emotionally to my Dad's Mom than her own even decades after they divorced. Their relationship surprised a lot of people. There years they went out drinking together. But they shared some good qualities. My paternal grandma treated my half brother, no blood relation to her like one of her own (praised for good traits scolded for bad behavior.).



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By her words - not to be destructive. She hated all forms of destructiveness, especially to public property and books.

By her example - generosity and hard work. She never had much in the bank but was always quick to help others in any way she could.

We have a family saying now - "What would Nellie do?" - and it prompts us all to be more loving and more generous as we remember her ways.
 
Murrmurr said:
To be kind to your neighbors. Like, every time a neighbor was under the weather, she'd send us kids over with a basket of hot food and a few treats. I remember standing there giving big sighs while she filled the basket, and my brother not letting me take a detour while we were on our way over. I hated those walks to the sick neighbors even though the people were always so grateful and nice about it. But then my mom got sick, after my sister was born, and all the neighbors showed up with food, and to clean the house, and they did our shopping and stuff. That changed my attitude.
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Both of my parents had a strong sense of community, that neighbors help each other. They were the 'go to' people in our neighborhood for all sorts of help and advice. Mom organized a clothing exchange that minimized that expense as most everyone was poor. She also often altered clothes to better fit the new owner.
 

What did your Mother teach you?​


How best to work the NYT crossword

This was in her latter years

Overall, she taught me how to love someone cold as ice
I found she had a very hard, cold, outer shell
Once broke, she crumbled
Never tried ever again.....guess she taught me that too
 
My mom (may she be resting in Peace) taught me sooo many things...how to cook, etc.. She also was full of wisdom- this is just a few: don't burn bridges because you never know when you have to cross them again, don't always let the left hand know what the right hand is doing, always keep a separate bank acct. (if married), if my hand itch, it means money is coming - I really like that one :ROFLMAO:.
 
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Very little. My mother dealt with postpartum depression, clinical depression, OCD, bipolar disorder, selfishness and the inability to truly love due to her upbringing. I've had a lot to overcome, but I've done it.

I understand where Win and Irwin are coming from, although my mother never really demeaned me. She was actually encouraging, but it was more by her words than actions. I will say that when I "came out" she was very difficult because she felt it was her fault. To her dying day, she denied sending me to a psychiatrist, but she did. I think she was devastated when he told me I was fine the way I was.

I'm an only child, and I did take care of my mother for 21 years after my father passed. I felt it was my responsibility, regardless of our relationship. She was actually pretty happy during those years, so when she passed on November 9, I felt no regret. My mother taught me about the life I didn't want and the person I didn't want to become.

I learned lots more coping skills from my father. Maybe that is the topic for another thread.
 
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OysterBay said:
My mom is a 90 year-old invalid with dementia now. But before she became a vegetable, she taught me many things.
Like how to bake the best effin stuffed mushrooms EVER. And that proper grammar is important and, Love is Pain. Pain is Love.
What did Your mother teach You?
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My mother told me that "Life is about survival", (whilst I'd tried to large "Life is about love "!).

I'll have to think about your motherse maxim "Love is Pain, Pain is Love", (but just maybe you've found a bridge between my mothers maxim, and my own adolescent thinking?). :)
 
My mom taught me how to love, to cherish family, to be loyal to my spouse (through her actions with my dad). Through my mom's actions, she taught me how to be honest, love God, be forgiving, and be grateful. Her fault is being too generous, and I think I have inherited that also. My mom has become my best friend now in my later years. I love her dearly.

I came back to edit this because it's so hard to write your life story in a few sentences. Just that each word here carries a lot of weight.
 
win231 said:
Mine too. She had two brooms. One for sweeping & one that she rode on.
She had 4 kids. Only one attended her funeral - my brother who is just like her.
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Yeah, my sister is just like my mother. I asked a therapist (who I was dating, not seeing as a client) about that and she said my sister was seeking acceptance from my mother. That makes sense.

I haven't seen or talked to my sister in almost 20 years and probably will never have any contact with her again. On top of everything else she did, she screwed me out of quite a bit of money when my mother died. I really don't care about the money, but the fact that she did that convinced me that I never want to have any contact with her again.
 
My mom was super admirable, smart, tolerant, a good listener, a feminist, hard-working, very competent at her job, mature, even-tempered, never judgemental at all, she never yelled, neither of my parents ever seemed to argue (tho my sister once told me she could hear them arguing sometimes after we went to bed). The only time I remember her being angry was once as a teenager I kept delaying doing the laundry (it was my chore to do the family laundry), and she said I couldn't do the laundry anymore. I was so shocked and horrified that she was angry that it didn't occur to me that might be a good thing for me, and I was very relieved when my dad calmed her down and got her to agree that I could still do the laundry.
I wish I was like my mom.
Editing because I realize I didn't say anything she taught me. I am not sure, other than cooking and ironing stuff, one thing she sort of taught me was not to feel any obligation to associate with any nut-case relatives or get pulled into their affairs.
 
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Irwin said:
Yeah, my sister is just like my mother. I asked a therapist (who I was dating, not seeing as a client) about that and she said my sister was seeking acceptance from my mother. That makes sense.

I haven't seen or talked to my sister in almost 20 years and probably will never have any contact with her again. On top of everything else she did, she screwed me out of quite a bit of money when my mother died. I really don't care about the money, but the fact that she did that convinced me that I never want to have any contact with her again.
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My brother tried to get everything in our parents' trust & will. He started a probate battle that took 7 years.
In the end, he had to sell his house to buy my sister & I out of a commercial property that we all owned - so he could own it himself.
Rather ironic - he learned hatred & greed from our mom & it cost him big time.
 
My mom had a pretty gruff exterior and a very dry sense of humor.

She taught us to be independent and take responsibility for our actions. She allowed us to fail and learn from our mistakes.

“Let's make a deal, if you don't blame me for your failures I won't take credit for your successes.” - Donavan Nelson Butler, Master Sergeant US Army
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