What do you/did you admire about your parents?

I was looking through pictures today and I came across this picture. It's of my Dad and his parents and some of their kids. They had 3 more kids after this picture was taken. At the time my Dad was 13 yrs old and had to quit school to help support the family. At 16yrs old he married my Mom. Because his family needed his money they hated my Mom and then they hated my older brother and sister and then of course hated me.Even though we visited them all the time we weren't allowed to ever eat there or get gifts. I admire my Mom for tolerating how they treated her. My Parents were married 63yrs before my Dad passed away. They were the best parents in the world.
10399862_1077870351984_5689481_n.jpg
 
My father put himself through college on a partial scholarship during the American Great Depression, and was an educated man at a time when such was a rarity. He had a real work ethic, and stayed with the same company he started with for almost 40 years. Although schooled in the precise discipline of engineering, he created wooden sculptures, drew and painted, and appreciated art and beauty. He endured my mother, who was a malignant narcissist that left scars on us all. People tended to remain in marriages back then, no matter how toxic…
 
PamfromTx said:
I admire my late mother during the time that she became a young (41 yrs. old) widow with 3 children still at home; oldest sister was already married. Mom was a strong and very determined woman who only wanted the best for her children.
Click to expand...
Much the same as my father. Mother died aged 33, leaving Dad with four children under the age of ten to raise alone. It was tough, but he soldiered on, he even battled with the authorities that tried to put his kids into care homes. He kept us together and never gave up.
 
This reminded me of my daughters MIL. Because I am Italian she thought my daughter wouldn't look good at the wedding. She wanted to come and help my daughter pick out her wedding gown. She even sent me a picture of a dress she thought I should wear. The day of the wedding she made her daughter come early to check on how bad my daughter would look. Do you think my daughter looked like a Greaseball? (Her definition of Italians)



236882660_4692888454057467_1797796217413812008_n.jpg
 
Last edited:
Nothing I can think of ....
if you asked me 5 years ago I might have said things like carrying on despite hard circumstances etc
but I discovered most of the story i knew of my parents was fake.

have you ever looked at a photo and then looked again later and saw something you totally missed.
I see just sadness in their wedding album. dads parents never liked her... it shows...... her parents not a smile but a wince as if they knew it was a mistake.
he looks like he just ate bad fish and wanted to throw up ... she had the smile i always knew was FAKE.
The only person happy in photos was my aunt and she was a real life Edith Bunker, clueless to reality

After my mothers death many items became clear. The stories did not add up never did really but she would distract you if you tried to get clarification. the versions always changing ....

No one was happy in that marriage and they should have never had any more kids besides my sister ( the reason they married).
Different times I guess... stay the course even if it was a bad one.

He died at 40 leaving her with 4 kids
She did her best I think, but her mental health ........i believe had some negative effects on me and siblings.
She should have sought help, but was so devoted to keeping up her stories about life it would have been a train wreck.
There are so many issues she had and i think that is why 2 siblings lie constantly and are complete failures
 
Sassycakes said:
This reminded me of my daughters MIL. Because I am Italian she thought my daughter wouldn't look good at the wedding. She wanted to come and help my daughter pick out her wedding gown. She even sent me a picture of a dress she thought I should wear. The day of the wedding she made her daughter come early to check on how bad my daughter would look. Do you think my daughter looked like a Greaseball? (Her definition of Italians)



View attachment 202665
Click to expand...
That is a beautiful family picture.đź’•
 
Nathan said:
My mother was talented, her parents sent her to finishing school(IIRC)where she was taught to play the piano, well enough to have become a concert pianist. She also played the recorder(self taught) and was fluent in English, Spanish, Portuguese, German and Russian. In later years she was a computer programmer, worked at several aerospace companies(Douglas, Lockheed,TRW).

My father majored in physics in collage, worked in the Library of Congress, and was employed by the State Department as a junior diplomat(vice counsel) in a number of U.S. missions(embassies and consulates) abroad: England, Brazil,Cuba,Mexico.
Click to expand...
I see, overachievers. 🤣 💓
 
My dad started working at 15 as an "office boy" at Vogue Magazine. Then he got a similar job at an insurance company. One of his jobs was filing index cards. He apparently talked his bosses into letting the young women attending a secretarial school in the same building do this work as a training exercise. He worked there for 40 years and became a senior vice president. I remember him for his incredible kindness and generosity.

My mother had a few more rough edges but she was also very kind and generous. She had dropped out of high school but she read a lot and was very smart. (She got an equivalency diploma when she was in her 50s). I tried to follow their example as a parent. I was the youngest of four (three girls, a ten year gap, then me) so I was spoiled rotten, but worse things have happened to people.

Work ethic, treating each other with courtesy and respect, being nice to people, these are my main takeaways.
 
Sassycakes said:
This reminded me of my daughters MIL. Because I am Italian she thought my daughter wouldn't look good at the wedding. She wanted to come and help my daughter pick out her wedding gown. She even sent me a picture of a dress she thought I should wear. The day of the wedding she made her daughter come early to check on how bad my daughter would look. Do you think my daughter looked like a Greaseball? (Her definition of Italians)



View attachment 202665
Click to expand...

Beautiful photo. People are amazing in their prejudices and dislikes. You see that a lot in the Northeast US where Jews, Italians, WASPs and Irish people intermingle. I do find that a lot of the old ways of thinking are disappearing, however.
 
Jeni said:
Nothing I can think of ....
if you asked me 5 years ago I might have said things like carrying on despite hard circumstances etc
but I discovered most of the story i knew of my parents was fake.

have you ever looked at a photo and then looked again later and saw something you totally missed.
I see just sadness in their wedding album. dads parents never liked her... it shows...... her parents not a smile but a wince as if they knew it was a mistake.
he looks like he just ate bad fish and wanted to throw up ... she had the smile i always knew was FAKE.
The only person happy in photos was my aunt and she was a real life Edith Bunker, clueless to reality

After my mothers death many items became clear. The stories did not add up never did really but she would distract you if you tried to get clarification. the versions always changing ....

No one was happy in that marriage and they should have never had any more kids besides my sister ( the reason they married).
Different times I guess... stay the course even if it was a bad one.

He died at 40 leaving her with 4 kids
She did her best I think, but her mental health ........i believe had some negative effects on me and siblings.
She should have sought help, but was so devoted to keeping up her stories about life it would have been a train wreck.
There are so many issues she had and i think that is why 2 siblings lie constantly and are complete failures
Click to expand...
I can relate to a lot of this.
 
JimBob1952 said:
Beautiful photo. People are amazing in their prejudices and dislikes. You see that a lot in the Northeast US where Jews, Italians, WASPs and Irish people intermingle. I do find that a lot of the old ways of thinking are disappearing, however.
Click to expand...
I hope they continue to stop their prejudices ad dislikes. Both my sister's husband and my husband are Irish and we are Italian. My oldest grandson is dating an African American and I love her.
 
While far from perfect, my mom worked hard to make the money stretch and she made 95% of my clothes. She even made *doll* clothes and from the vantage point of age and experience, I know that was a labor of love in itself!

My dad was a sweetheart, a loving, gentle soul. He had a lovely tenor voice and could sing harmony by ear.

IMG_0493-001.JPG
 

Back
Top