What do you think of women being called names?

Deucemoi said:
mmm.. dirty words, hey?.. 007 called M bitch in one of the movies, crocodille dundee called the reporter sheila in the first movie. So what's in a name. depends, are you pissed, are you funning, or just amusing yourself? I have been called names and I have done so myself. as the old saying goes 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me'.
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This is my outlook on life, Deuce. Words have power to offend, insult or upset you only if you let them. It's a learned response to shrug them off or to reply in kind if the insult-slinging is done in a humorous manner. I say this because, while I was in the work force, sexual harassment was graded, not reported. Contractors whistling and hooting and shouting innuendos was a regular part of life on the streets. As a stewardess, I heard it all: Hey, baby, want to join the Mile High Club with me? Wow, you've got a great ass. Etc. etc. In their defense, airline customers in the Seventies were bombarded with ad messages about how we were all easy and just asking for it by looking glamorous and serving them liquor and food. As a belly dancer in a Middle Eastern club for several years, I heard come-ons and slurs every night I danced, and I always found that a smile and ignoring the provocation was the best response.
 

Ruthanne said:
What do you think of society allowing women to be labeled as bitches, whores, sluts, the "c" word, and the like? We have all grown up hearing these words and are used to them. I know some women have retaliated by calling men bitches, too. Think about it. Why should women be labeled all of those words? If we are equals? We do hope to be equals! Men are not commonly called all of those words. :notfair:
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Wow! Have you been living in la la land? Misandry much?
 
Ruthanne said:
I have just been walking down the street doing nothing and been yelled at and called a "bitch" for no reason!
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Wow Ruthanne that's crazy what kind of a person would call you a bitch when you're just walking down the street? Was it a complete stranger and what do you think made him do that? If that's standard in your neighborhood, I think I'd get out because that's just too toxic for me
Ray said:
I for example am often called "studmuffin" and have never once complained even thought it might be called "sexist".
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Ray you have a good sense of humor :laugh:

Kitties said:
I've been harassed and bullied and probably called every name. I don't think name calling is right. I'm not above it. Especially if I'm complaining about someone at work I don't like but that's in a private conversation.
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I'm sorry you were harassed like that Kitties and I think you're a strong woman to be able to admit that you're not above it when complaining in private conversations. The women who deny ever doing it are not being honest

Redlo Nosrep said:
Contractors whistling and hooting and shouting innuendos was a regular part of life on the streets.
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I was never a stewardess or dancer Redlo Nosrep but I also have always had some things shouted at me by male admirers like hey sweetheart honey or baby and I usually just ignored it and it still happens sometimes even today as a senior. I never had anything really nasty said to me on the street by a man most of them were just being friendly and hopeful. But I wouldn't get involved with someone so vocal like that not my type
 

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Originally Posted by Ruthanne
I have just been walking down the street doing nothing and been yelled at and called a "bitch" for no reason!

Wow Ruthanne that's crazy what kind of a person would call you a bitch when you're just walking down the street? Was it a complete stranger and what do you think made him do that? If that's standard in your neighborhood, I think I'd get out because that's just too toxic for me {quote from Stormy}
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I've been in some pretty dodgy places in my life, but I've never had anyone just out of the blue call me a bad name for no reason. I agree with Stormy -- I'd stay out of that neighborhood.

I don't like the name calling, either, but it's not something I see on the street here in normal everyday context. In areas where gangs are prevalent, yes, but not really anywhere else. I have never been called any of those names to my face (probably behind my back, though), and I've never, and will never call anyone those names to their face (maybe out of earshot or in my car, though, in all honesty.)

I think it's part of the general decline in civility in our culture, and it's deplorable.

I think it is rude and disrespectful, but there's nothing I can do about it (except to not participate) and I'm not going to get all torqued up about it.
 
Stormy, I take exception to your comment about" the women who deny ever doing it are not honest"
I do not use words like that not even in private, it is rude and what is more it would be while gossiping which is a no no for me because it is a sin, and against my faith. I would like that clearly understood please
 
Wilberforce said:
The same as my first name, I do not allow folks to use it without permission. I am Mrs until such time as I choose differently. If I am asked my name by some unfamiliar person I say my last name, when they ask for my first I say Mrs.

I have never had a problem with it
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I worked for an American company in the UK and it was first names only - from the Plant manager to the cleaner. Your insistence on 'Mrs' was typical of how I found Germany 40 years ago. I expect it still persists in some places, but increasingly its first names. You wouldn't fit in at all in this village. It's all first names and in small communities, you have to fit it. I fear your approach would be viewed as very rude and aloof.
 
Everywhere I've ever worked (fairly formal environments) it has always been first names within ourselves, Mr. or Ms. X when clients are present, or when to referring to each other in front of a client (as in Mr, X can't see you until Friday). To insist on being called Ms. X among just the employees would have been seen as very uppity.
 
Too bad, my name is a gift that I give freely , not a right. I lived in a very small village in the UK and I fit in just fine and I do every time I go back too, and everyone calls me by my first name..rude and aloof, just goes to show how one can be mis judged on the net. Of course it is increasingly first names, I have no problem with that but when introduced to someone by a friend they already know my choices. I was talking more of salemen etc trying to be "friends".

Personally out of respect I would call a person by the name they preferred, whether it be their first name, a middle name, a nick name or their married name, to want to call them something different would in my book be insolent. If introduced to someone as say Jane Doe ( ie both names) I would ask how they would want to be addressed. I would not presume nor would I judge. I certainly would not consider them rude for their choice.

I sign my posts with my name

XX Jeannine

I am not sure about the German 40s reference
 
Certainly I agree with Ruthanne in the OP that we should not be calling anyone rude names. And I agree with Jeannine that we should be allowed some control over how we are addressed. For example, way back in 1946, my parents thought that Kay would be a nice middle name for a little fella. I was teased a lot when I was in elementary school about it, and hated it. I've forgiven my parents though. ;) I will say that I have learned to shrug off folks that use what I would consider overly friendly ways of addressing people they don't know. Luv, Honey, Sweetie, etc. Sure beats the names Ruthanne brought up in her original post!
 
Wilberforce said:
Too bad, my name is a gift that I give freely , not a right. I lived in a very small village in the UK and I fit in just fine and I do every time I go back too, and everyone calls me by my first name..rude and aloof, just goes to show how one can be mis judged on the net. Of course it is increasingly first names, I have no problem with that but when introduced to someone by a friend they already know my choices. I was talking more of salemen etc trying to be "friends".

Personally out of respect I would call a person by the name they preferred, whether it be their first name, a middle name, a nick name or their married name, to want to call them something different would in my book be insolent. If introduced to someone as say Jane Doe ( ie both names) I would ask how they would want to be addressed. I would not presume nor would I judge. I certainly would not consider them rude for their choice.

I sign my posts with my name

XX Jeannine

I am not sure about the German 40s reference
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Jeannine, I did not mean to imply that I disrespected your view in this matter, I was just reporting how it is where I live. I'm in the southwestern US, which I realize is probably very different in its attitudes than where you live.
 
First of all I am talking about using demeaning words in a demeaning way.

I believe that many women have heard the derogatory words used so much by men and then in the media and elsewhere that they have internalized them; some women have chosen not to use those words as a result and some have just gone along with using them even though it may not have been a conscious decision for the latter. I think that men have learned the words from their peers and other men and media and just pick it up from hearing it all the time.

Do we really want to keep on using those words towards women, though, is the question? It is not good for anyone concerned; not the one calling names or the one being called names. There are much better words we can use. :) We can have higher standards than that can't we?:love_heart:
 
I have found that I usually get a big smile when I greet someone as "young lady". Of course most of the ladies I encounter are 70 or older.
 
Butterfly said:
I've been in some pretty dodgy places in my life, but I've never had anyone just out of the blue call me a bad name for no reason. I agree with Stormy -- I'd stay out of that neighborhood.
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I agree with you Butterfly, I grew up in a big city and have been flirted with many times by strangers, but never in my life have I had someone come out of nowhere for no reason and call me a bit#*, that would be a shocker. :eek: I'd probably be tempted to go over and ask him why he called me that.
 
Butterfly I agreed with your post, using first names within your home group at work is just fine, and using more formal names when clients are around is exactly the right thing to do.. no problems there at all.

I think with the bad names they should never be acceptable and it is difficult to know where to draw the line. Modern day etiquette says that one should not be personal with folks you don't know , so calling some one sweetie would break the rule, however I think one has to size up the situation. I was in a room in church just last week and a woman came in in a full blown panic attack, I did not know where but I comforted here, I did call her sweetie , I stroked her hair and finally managed to get her to stop shaking and eventually the attack passed. She was very happy. So in a loving comfortable way I guess sweetie would be Ok, however if I was walking down the street n someone called Hi Sweetie, I would be offended.

I think shrugging it off is not the way to go, I have to speak and tell the person I an offended, it usually surprises them and often they say they meant no harm and apologize, sometimes they say worse. but ignoring it is like condoning it to me. I would of course not say anything if the situation was in any way dangerous.

I tend to say Thanks love, if someone holds a door for me, to the best of my knowledge it has never offended anyone. I would not however say Hi love to a stranger.

Some words of course are a no no under all circumstances. I tend to feel sort of sorry for the people that use them. It is sort of sad that someone's knowledge of modern day etiquette is so poor that they would not know it offends or worse still think it doesn't matter, another reason is that their self esteem is so low that they use the words to feel powerful.
 
Butterfly said:
To insist on being called Ms. X among just the employees would have been seen as very uppity.
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I agree it's rare but if someone even younger called me Mrs. unless it was a formal business scenario, I always told them please, just call me by my first name. When I was young my mom taught me to respect my elders and address all neighbors or friends of the family as Mr. or Mrs. which I happily did and it was very common back then. Now if a neighbor's child addressed me as Mrs., I would have to tell them it's not necessary. So for me it would be a little but uppity to demand it
 
I don't understand the conflict? Different strokes for different folks. I am an extremely informal person, don't use doctor, or ms unless absolutely essential, but others are comfortable with varying degrees of formality. Why is that perceived as uppity by some? Surely one size does not fit all.
 
I agree Shalimar, I too am extremely informal but I choose that, I do however dis ike over familiarity of strangers , the car salesman etc who wants to be very friendly I don'tt approve of. I keep my distamce until I cjose do therwise. Is that uppity, perhaps I think it is being selective. I am not rude to folks who asc that way. I am just polite.
 
Shalimar said:
I don't understand the conflict? Different strokes for different folks. I am an extremely informal person, don't use doctor, or ms unless absolutely essential, but others are comfortable with varying degrees of formality. Why is that perceived as uppity by some? Surely one size does not fit all.
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There is no "conflict" Shalimar just like you said one size doesn't fit all so if some of us perceive the mandatory title of Ms, Mrs or Mr as uppity, it's not a slam on anyone personally just differences in priorities. Some of us embrace our fellow man from all walks of life and titles are of little significance. It's how we treat and love each other that's more important than how we address each other, that simple. It's okay if we don't all have the same priorities and all think alike, more interesting that way
 
Stormy said:
There is no "conflict" Shalimar just like you said one size doesn't fit all so if some of us perceive the mandatory title of Ms, Mrs or Mr as uppity, it's not a slam on anyone personally just differences in priorities. Some of us embrace our fellow man from all walks of life and titles are of little significance. It's how we treat and love each other that's more important than how we address each other, that simple. It's okay if we don't all have the same priorities and all think alike, more interesting that way
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I agree, Stormy. Just a matter of custom.
 
Stormy said:
There is no "conflict" Shalimar just like you said one size doesn't fit all so if some of us perceive the mandatory title of Ms, Mrs or Mr as uppity, it's not a slam on anyone personally just differences in priorities. Some of us embrace our fellow man from all walks of life and titles are of little significance. It's how we treat and love each other that's more important than how we address each other, that simple. It's okay if we don't all have the same priorities and all think alike, more interesting that way
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Well, with all due respect maybe it's not a slam but some see being called uppity as a negative judgement and none of us like to be judged. No offense intended, we can all still love one another without the judgement. :love_heart:

Just to show you how Uppity is defined:
up·pi·ty
ˈəpədē/
adjective[COLOR=#878787 !important]informal[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#878787 !important][/COLOR]


 
This is going to be my last post, no particular reason for signing off on this topic, it just happened to be top of my list of e mails

I want to thank some very nice people that I have met in my time here, you all know who you are and I shall miss you.

My reasons for signing out are few but important to me, just a tad too much of something I can't be part of. I don't like the in fighting in some topics and when I found I was bring drawn into it I knew I had to go.

.Just as a last comment on this thread. My very last comment .There still is an acceptable etiquette for 2017. Do's and Don't;s. One may argue it doesn't matter but if it loses you that job or big deal because you didn't know what to do what to say etc you may want to re think it. For reasons I won't go into I have had to keep up over the years and although some of these "rules " may still seem out dated to some, they are not if one ever has to travel in circles where it matters. Some of it is quite funny as well as pertinent.The really up to date ones are quite a lot of fun..try Emily Post 2016 for a really good read.

So to you all. may your God or whatever you hold dear bring you peace and contentment all the rest of your days.

My sincere good wishes to you all

XX Jeannie
 
Wilberforce said:
This is going to be my last post, no particular reason for signing off on this topic, it just happened to be top of my list of e mails

I want to thank some very nice people that I have met in my time here, you all know who you are and I shall miss you.

My reasons for signing out are few but important to me, just a tad too much of something I can't be part of. I don't like the in fighting in some topics and when I found I was bring drawn into it I knew I had to go.

.Just as a last comment on this thread. My very last comment .There still is an acceptable etiquette for 2017. Do's and Don't;s. One may argue it doesn't matter but if it loses you that job or big deal because you didn't know what to do what to say etc you may want to re think it. For reasons I won't go into I have had to keep up over the years and although some of these "rules " may still seem out dated to some, they are not if one ever has to travel in circles where it matters. Some of it is quite funny as well as pertinent.The really up to date ones are quite a lot of fun..try Emily Post 2016 for a really good read.

So to you all. may your God or whatever you hold dear bring you peace and contentment all the rest of your days.

My sincere good wishes to you all

XX Jeannie
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Although I respect your choice Jeannine, I am really sorry to see you leave, I shall miss your thoughtful, compassionate, insightful posts. Namaste, my friend. My life is richer for having met you.
 

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