What if you were given a "do over"

rbtvgo said:
Suppose you could begin again at some point in your life. Where would it be and what would you do different?
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Ya know, @rbtvgo , that's a good question and I'm going to have to answer that I wouldn't do anything differently. Why? Because I'm thinking of It's a Wonderful Life and realizing that if I'd change the things that weren't perfect, or hurt me, or turned out wrong, etc. there'd be no way to know what *other* things would have been affected and different now. Nope, I'd keep things just as they were because I don't know what I'd be missing now if something had been different.
 
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I immediately thought of going from 18 years old.. and stopping my mother taking her fatal overdose.. but then I thought, if I had, then I wouldn't have moved to England, and have my Daughter... so I would say, much as I would have loved to have been there for my mum.. my daughter has to be alive.. so I think I would start from when my daughter was born, and do everything better...
 

I can't even think about that. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Sure, in retrospect, there are a few things I'd like to have done differently, but dwelling on them serves no good purpose. I accept things as they occurred and as they are now because that's the way they are. There's no going back.
 
Weirdly, I've thought about this recently and I think decision changes for me would have started at about age 40. I'd be married to the same man, with the same children, but would have made some other decisions in the last 18 years that would, I think, have had me in a different place, physically and psycho/emotionally/mentally.
 
Bella said:
I can't even think about that. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Sure, in retrospect, there are a few things I'd like to have done differently, but dwelling on them serves no good purpose. I accept things as they occurred and as they are now because that's the way they are. There's no going back.
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I agree there's no going back and morose dwelling would do no good. But this is a harmless question about wistful thinking. A little fun.
 
CallMeKate said:
Ya know, @rbtvgo , that's a good question and I'm going to have to answer that I wouldn't do anything differently. Why? Because I'm thinking of It's a Wonderful Life and realizing that if I'd change the things that weren't perfect, or hurt me, or turned out wrong, etc. there'd be no way to know what *other* things would have been affected and different now. Nope, I'd keep things just as they were because I don't know what I'd be missing now if something had been different.
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See, I wonder that too; if I changed this would it affect that? So, I'm thinking of this along the lines of my life being what it is, has been, cept that if I'd made small different decisions a couple decades ago and continuing through them, I'd likely be feeling a bit better now and not working quite so hard at feeling okay.
 
Well, When I was 19, I had five marriage proposals. I stupidly chose the absolute WORST of all of them!
But, I knew him from another life and I DID finally get rid of some bad karma so I won't have any more
connection with him. (Extreme love or extreme hate binds souls through different lives)
So, This was something my soul had to experience and I've forgiven him.
And, as Kate said, by changing our pre-planned life, (as we can with free will), we don't know what ELSE
would change in our lives.
one thing though:
I SHOULD have started writing and doing artwork in my 20's , no matter what anyone said to the contrary!
 
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Bella said:
I can't even think about that. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Sure, in retrospect, there are a few things I'd like to have done differently, but dwelling on them serves no good purpose. I accept things as they occurred and as they are now because that's the way they are. There's no going back.
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if I may...copy off you...as we would say in school..I agree.
Couldn't have said it better myself👌
 
Alligatorob said:
Nope, only in our minds. And that lets us fanaticize the outcome of redoing something, probably not very rightly.

Ever see 11.22.63? It's a show about going back and preventing the JFK assignation, doesn't work out real well. Somehow I imagine some like that would happen to me if I got a redo.
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But what if it's not about a single decision or two, but a begin again chance as op says? There are continuing decisions I'd make, which I suppose is better put as life changes I'd make that I believe would have me in a better place mentally/physically now. Is all I'm say'n. ;)
 
My psychiatrist once told me there’s nothing wrong with fantasizing, whether it’s the past of present. I live in real time. No good looking back and it’s ok to think ahead, but not live ahead. I had an old girlfriend call me a few years back. She started out the call with I was just thinking about you and I and thought I would call you. Remember the song, “Remember Then?” You sang it to me while you played it on the organ about 10 years ago on my birthday, which was also the same night my then boyfriend proposed to me. I accepted, but later decided I made a mistake. I think it was right after you won the Florida lottery, but it didn’t have anything to do with that. I just knew that I loved you more than him, but you never asked me to marry you. I still don’t know why. Please tell me why you never asked me to marry you. I never answered the question.
 
So many things. I realized this pretty early though. I should have left Santa Cruz the day I turned 18 and gone no contact with everyone I was related to. But I didn't. I couldn't. It's taken me over 40 years to have built up that confidence I never had then. And I'm still not where I'd want to be.
 
Medusa said:
But what if it's not about a single decision or two, but a begin again chance as op says? There are continuing decisions I'd make, which I suppose is better put as life changes I'd make that I believe would have me in a better place mentally/physically now.
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Do you think it would have worked? Just imagining you had the chance?
 

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