What is it to be a man, (and worth your salt as it were)?

Warrigal said:
Rugby front rowers are "real men" and I find them repulsive.
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You must not say that to the likes of Dylan Hartley, who as a Kiwi played over there in his teenage years, before shifting his allegiance to England when qualifying as an adult by residency. I met him at our local rugby club when he came to speak, and he was very articulate and impressive, so they're not all bad obviously! :)
 
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I didn't say bad.

I said I was repelled by the players who make up the front row.
They resemble neanderthals. The ones up the back look more like human beings.

However, front or back row, they are all men.

Let's not get into a discussion about the female rugby players except to say that they are also real.

I'm not repelled by the wheelchair rugby players. I admire their courage and resilience.
 

Warrigal said:
Rugby front rowers are "real men" and I find them repulsive.
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You wouldn't find aforementioned Dylan Hartley repulsive surely!

Here are some jokes against men you might like, (that I've just come across):

Asked to define her ideal man she said: "I like my men to behave like men - strong and foolish"!

And this one:
"When you see what some girls marry you realise how much they must have hated working for a living"!
 
Warrigal said:
I didn't say bad. I said I was repelled by the players who make up the front row.
They resemble neanderthals. The ones up the back look more like human beings.
However, front or back row, they are all men.

Let's not get into a discussion about the female rugby players except to say that they are also real.

I'm not repelled by the wheelchair rugby players. I admire their courage and resilience.
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Crazy game rugby anyway, especially these days when "repetitions" are said to be good/impressive aspects of a teams performance, whilst each side tries to grind the other down.
The game has always been dangerous and serious injuries have always occurred, but those front row forwards you describe may go on to suffer early onset dementia if they played at a high level, so wives might well have to face nursing them I'm ashamed to have to say.
So much for being a tough or real man then hey, far better to have been a bit of a whimp even, though we do like folks who step up in some way don't we, just don't overdo it and lose your marbles.
 
OKAY, I have said I would not reply to your post. You are wondering about your on manhood. YOU ARE A FINE MAN! Don't let anyone tell you different. A fine man wants a home, a family. It does not require a mansion, a fancy car,, the best of travel, clothes, etc, It requires a a warm cozy home, food on the table, and good education for your children.

You keep looking for what you did wrong. You need to accept that you may have not done anything wrong. It could have been all about your ex-wife. She could be and most likely the one the one that caused all this misery. She is the one that destroyed your relationship with your daughter and grandchildren.

Quit beating youself up and accept that you are a good person. You have worked hard to make a good life, be respectable, no one can take that from you. Be proud, be strong, be the fine man you are!! forget about the others that fail to see the truth, the truth lives in your deeds and your heart!!
 
Blessed said:
OKAY, I have said I would not reply to your post. You are wondering about your on manhood. YOU ARE A FINE MAN! Don't let anyone tell you different. A fine man wants a home, a family. It does not require a mansion, a fancy car,, the best of travel, clothes, etc, It requires a a warm cozy home, food on the table, and good education for your children.
You keep looking for what you did wrong. You need to accept that you may have not done anything wrong. It could have been all about your ex-wife. She could be and most likely the one the one that caused all this misery. She is the one that destroyed your relationship with your daughter and grandchildren.
Quit beating youself up and accept that you are a good person. You have worked hard to make a good life, be respectable, no one can take that from you. Be proud, be strong, be the fine man you are!! forget about the others that fail to see the truth, the truth lives in your deeds and your heart!!
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This is a thread about the friend mentioned in the OP though, and what he might have thought about being a man isn't it,......., so for once not all about ME, ME, ME!!!!!!!!
Has anyone ever remarked on your method of dealing with things, "going straight for it" etc.? :unsure::whistle::);)
 
grahamg said:
This is a thread about the friend mentioned in the OP though, and what he might have thought about being a man isn't it,......., so for once not all about ME, ME, ME!!!!!!!!
Has anyone ever remarked on your method of dealing with things, "going straight for it" etc.? :unsure::whistle::);)
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No, I thought you appreciate that I think you are a good man. It seems like you are always looking to find out what you did wrong. As far as I know you did nothing wrong but you are spending your life trying to figure it out. As I have said before you deserve better than that!! I wish you the best!!
 
Blessed said:
No, I thought you appreciate that I think you are a good man. It seems like you are always looking to find out what you did wrong. As far as I know you did nothing wrong but you are spending your life trying to figure it out. As I have said before you deserve better than that!! I wish you the best!!
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So no one has suggested you are direct(?)

I may be an enigma, have you thought about that?

In any event I'm getting ready to deliver my tribute to the man who acted as my best man when I got married forty five years ago, and I hope to do him justice, (many good men dont volunteer themselves for such tasks, my own father being one of them who avoided funerals and speech making as much as possible, though he wasn't shy believe me!).

I've got my tribute down to four A4 pages of text and I think its got to come down to about three pages to make sure it doesn't run over.
 
grahamg said:
So no one has suggested you are direct(?)

I may be an enigma, have you thought about that?

In any event I'm getting ready to deliver my tribute to the man who acted as my best man when I got married forty five years ago, and I hope to do him justice, (many good men dont volunteer themselves for such tasks, my own father being one of them who avoided funerals and speech making as much as possible, though he wasn't shy believe me!).

I've got my tribute down to four A4 pages of text and I think its got to come down to about three pages to make sure it doesn't run over.
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I admire the bravery it takes to stand up and give tribute to a man that you loved and admired. I must say it was a shock to me that my son, the only child, got up in front of the packed house and gave tribute to his father. I did not know he was going to speak. He, on his own talked to the pastor amd funeral director.

Needless to say, I about passed out, I did not know it was coming. My little boy,( not little, he was 22 but only 17 when his Dad was diagnosed as terminal) he spoke with great ease to a group of 400 people. At that point, through my tears, I knew my son would become a great man just like his Dad!!

You are also a great man! You have been through many hard times, many heart breaks but have kept going in life. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, you have so much love to give others. I just want you to know understand that you can make such a difference in peoples lives. Maybe, not with your daughter or grand children but that is her/their downfall not yours. I know you love them, if they will not open their hearts it is not your fault, you are still a good person. You deserve to have love and a happy life.
 
Blessed said:
I admire the bravery it takes to stand up and give tribute to a man that you loved and admired. I must say it was a shock to me that my son, the only child, got up in front of the packed house and gave tribute to his father. I did not know he was going to speak. He, on his own talked to the pastor amd funeral director.

Needless to say, I about passed out, I did not know it was coming. My little boy,( not little, he was 22 but only 17 when his Dad was diagnosed as terminal) he spoke with great ease to a group of 400 people. At that point, through my tears, I knew my son would become a great man just like his Dad!!

You are also a great man! You have been through many hard times, many heart breaks but have kept going in life. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, you have so much love to give others. I just want you to know understand that you can make such a difference in peoples lives. Maybe, not with your daughter or grand children but that is her/their downfall not yours. I know you love them, if they will not open their hearts it is not your fault, you are still a good person. You deserve to have love and a happy life.
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Well done your boy, (he was canny wasn't he keeping it a secret!). :)
 
grahamg said:
Well done your boy, (he was canny wasn't he keeping it a secret!). :)
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what does canny mean? it is that on the sly or the down low, He just did not want Mom to know, it would make him nervous. He knew I was in bad shape, I could not even put a sentence together, I had not slept in about 5 days, I had to delay the service to the following weekend. We had family coming from out of town.

He was an Assistant State Union Represenative for the North Texas area and that also reached into Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana. We had to have his service on a Sunday so postal service workers could attend if they so desired. I must say I was shocked when they took me out to my seat, they showed up in force from all over Texas and the surrounding states. There were some that came across country. He attended every the national meetings all over the country. He was called to Washington DC to serve on commitees when there were problems that the union had to give in put.

I am not going to you a lie, he was married to his job. I worked as well but I also kept the home fires burning. There was a dinner cooked every night. He often ate late, depending on his schedule that day. Often, lets say every night a carrier was calling about filing a greivance. I would just fix a plate and leave it in thr microwave, if there was salad, it was in the fridge. I fixed his lunch for the next day, packed in his cooler in the fridge. There also a water jug that was cleaned every night. I would feel it with water, a quarter full, put in the big freezer, he could fill it in the morning and have cold water all day long. I would lay two clean folded shirts on the top of the washer for him take in case he had to go to the Fort Worth main post office or called to another location for a emergency meeting.
 
Blessed said:
what does canny mean? it is that on the sly or the down low, He just did not want Mom to know, it would make him nervous. He knew I was in bad shape, I could not even put a sentence together, I had not slept in about 5 days, I had to delay the service to the following weekend. We had family coming from out of town.

He was an Assistant State Union Represenative for the North Texas area and that also reached into Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana. We had to have his service on a Sunday so postal service workers could attend if they so desired. I must say I was shocked when they took me out to my seat, they showed up in force from all over Texas and the surrounding states. There were some that came across country. He attended every the national meetings all over the country. He was called to Washington DC to serve on commitees when there were problems that the union had to give in put.

I am not going to you a lie, he was married to his job. I worked as well but I also kept the home fires burning. There was a dinner cooked every night. He often ate late, depending on his schedule that day. Often, lets say every night a carrier was calling about filing a greivance. I would just fix a plate and leave it in thr microwave, if there was salad, it was in the fridge. I fixed his lunch for the next day, packed in his cooler in the fridge. There also a water jug that was cleaned every night. I would feel it with water, a quarter full, put in the big freezer, he could fill it in the morning and have cold water all day long. I would lay two clean folded shirts on the top of the washer for him take in case he had to go to the Fort Worth main post office or called to another location for a emergency meeting.
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It was a compliment to call your son "canny".

The Scots use it to show someone who has their head screwed on and knows what they are about!

(Thanks for posting the other information btw).

(Quote: chiefly used in Scotland. : careful, steady. also : restrained. : quiet, snug. "then canny, in some cozy place, they close the day",.., Robert Burns)
 
Thanks, I think you are "canny" too. I think you need to know how special you are. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!! You would be in hiding if I lived over there!! LOL
 
grahamg said:
They used to say:"Handsome is as handsome does".

(so watch out for us "handsome fellas":) )
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I whatch out out for all the handsome fellas the outside may look good but the inside could be a nightmare. I think you are a rare thing, handsome guy outside and inside, I just hate that the exwife destroyed you to the point you are afraid to love another. Maybe, some day a girl will win you over and the two of you will have a great happy life together!!
 
Blessed said:
I whatch out out for all the handsome fellas the outside may look good but the inside could be a nightmare. I think you are a rare thing, handsome guy outside and inside, I just hate that the exwife destroyed you to the point you are afraid to love another. Maybe, some day a girl will win you over and the two of you will have a great happy life together!!
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She didnt manage to do that, though I confess I didn't do myself any favours when meeting someone I liked a lot, (and loved), but thought I should "learn the lessons of my first marriage" by being more assertive, or overly assertive at the wrong time and put the kibosh on that relationship!!
(I liked your recent thread btw :) )
 
The funeral has come and gone, not spoiled by the insecent rain at the internment, and my late friends family, (especially his elder brother), were very pleased with my tribute or eulogy.
His children and their partners were as good a testament to their dad as you could find, (I met two of them for the first time, and couldn't have liked them more).
The minister, who was conducting her first funeral, did very well too, and could not have done any better, and the mix of modern music, and some traditional hymns was just right I thought.
 

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