What young ladies used to be told (apparently, according to some reports?)

[Fyrefox]

Whatever happened to the “bounders” mentioned in #2? They are now so little known that my spell check wanted to change the word to “bouncers!” You don’t hear much about “cads” anymore, either. On the female side, you used to have “vamps” as well, and one hardly hears mention of them anymore, either….

 

[Della]

I used to have that magazine or one very similar and the instructions for a "good" wife were exactly like that! I still have a newspaper supplement from 1960 on what to teach your daughter - and it is the same "lessons." Just because something isn't archived until later has no bearing on the authenticity.

Seriously?
"14.) Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day."
"18.) A good wife always knows her place?"

My mother had monthly subscriptions to, "Lady's Home Journal," "Better Homes and Gardens," "Harper's Bazaar", "Vogue" and "Good Housekeeping" (we never saw any such thing as this House Keeping Monthly.)

The first few "tips" were the sort of thing we would find in those magazines, but it gets more and more exaggerated as it gets toward number 18 -- just to flame people up. It's not too different from reality but it is still false and I don't like lies. Particularly ones meant to increase divisiveness.

None of the advice in those magazines were meant for women who also had jobs outside the home, you can tell it's assumed she is home all day and has plenty of time. It's easy to look down your nose at the full time housewives of the 50's but women like this (my mother was one) took their jobs seriously and weren't offended at tips on how to be perfect at it. It's no worse than any career tips on how to be better at your job.

 

[Alligatorob]

Thanks @grahamg it has been interesting reading through this tread. And I suppose there is truth to it. Hopefully we are mostly past it all, but I know that some of this kind of thing still happens.

What young ladies used to be told

Not by me, or not intentionally anyway. I think the world works best with all people being able to work to their highest abilities, kind of a pragmatic view or maybe even selfish view.

 

[feywon]

"Hows that"? (I've heard of manspreading but not that familiar with your word, are you sure you haven't made it up, or it ony applies in Oz?)

No mansplaining very common in USA. YouTube has several compilations usually of examples from Twitter or a subReddit usually in response to questions about the most bizarre t
Things a man has tried to expain to a woman.

What sort of things? Her occupation when she's has degrees and/or has been successful at it while he's. In a totally unrelated field. Her body functions including menstruation and childbirth.when he is NOT an OB-GYN. The law when she's passed the Bar exam in her state and earns good money while he's mid-management at his family's company.

 

[feywon]

This particular article according to links Della has provided is hoax.but similar advice was given as late as the 50's. However, that was long after the suffragettes had won the battle for the Vote in USA and just before the rise of modern feminist movements.

So mentioning them is a clue, as is the word 'except' in #4 on their list when context suggests it should have been 'expect'. That's the kind of auto correct error often missed in proofreading.

And yes, it is as sexist as things that make broad generalizations, push sterotypes of women. Both are wrong, but there seems to be plenty of walking/talking examples of negative stereotypes of both men and women, that's what makes it so hard to dismantle them.

 

[grahamg]

Of course I do. In spite of every flaw and fault, men are wonderful, lovable creatures.
Hard but brittle on the outside and soft and gooey on the inside, like a pavlova.
Totally sweet and very addictive.

Owwww,..., too sweet for me these days!

 

[grahamg]

Whatever happened to the “bounders” mentioned in #2? They are now so little known that my spell check wanted to change the word to “bouncers!” You don’t hear much about “cads” anymore, either. On the female side, you used to have “vamps” as well, and one hardly hears mention of them anymore, either….

"Good points, well made"!

 

[grahamg]

This particular article according to links Della has provided is hoax. but similar advice was given as late as the 50's. Break
So mentioning them is a clue, as is the word 'except' in #4 on their list when context suggests it should have been 'expect'. That's the kind of auto correct error often missed in proofreading. And yes, it is as sexist as things that make broad generalizations, push stereotypes of women. Both are wrong, but there seems to be plenty of walking/talking examples of negative stereotypes of both men and women, that's what makes it so hard to dismantle them.

"Maybe dont try to dismantle them, just laugh"!

 

[feywon]

"Maybe dont try to dismantle them, just laugh"!

Sometimes i do, in private, about how ignorant some people are.

But publicly laughing off negative stereotypes about any group of people just gives unspoken support to both the stereotypes and the notion that one can say any rude, unpleasant thing they wish and then pass it off as a joke.

Technically of course they can and do frequently, but i am not about to encourage it.

 

[Em in Ohio]

Seriously?
"14.) Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day."
"18.) A good wife always knows her place?"

My mother had monthly subscriptions to, "Lady's Home Journal," "Better Homes and Gardens," "Harper's Bazaar", "Vogue" and "Good Housekeeping" (we never saw any such thing as this House Keeping Monthly.)

The first few "tips" were the sort of thing we would find in those magazines, but it gets more and more exaggerated as it gets toward number 18 -- just to flame people up. It's not too different from reality but it is still false and I don't like lies. Particularly ones meant to increase divisiveness.

None of the advice in those magazines were meant for women who also had jobs outside the home, you can tell it's assumed she is home all day and has plenty of time. It's easy to look down your nose at the full time housewives of the 50's but women like this (my mother was one) took their jobs seriously and weren't offended at tips on how to be perfect at it. It's no worse than any career tips on how to be better at your job.

I admit that I didn't read through the entire site, but I stand by what I said. If I can remember who I "loaned" the aforementioned publication to, I'll see if said person still has it. If they do, I may snag some of the low-lights. By the way, it was probably also just part of a local newspaper publication, not a magazine. My mother lived up to these expectations and tried hard to teach me to do the same.

 

[grahamg]

Sometimes i do, in private, about how ignorant some people are. L
But publicly laughing off negative stereotypes about any group of people just gives unspoken support to both the stereotypes and the notion that one can say any rude, unpleasant thing they wish and then pass it off as a joke.
Technically of course they can and do frequently, but i am not about to encourage it.

You wouldn't make a "Round Table", (or Ladies Circle"), member then, because the whole thing is built upon finding like minded people who can gel whilst saying the most challenging things to one another if they choose.

Those groups are offshoots of the Rotary club, (who you may have heard of, and are like the Buffaloes organisation in the US I believe), and the ability to respond is key to whether you're "made of the right stuff", and taking yourself too seriously just wont do! !