What young ladies used to be told (apparently, according to some reports?)

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helenbacque said:
I married in 1955 at the age of 22. These were expectations we faced with no exceptions made for full time job. Of course, no one could do it all but we were somehow lacking if we didn't succeed.

https://littlethings.com/lifestyle/1950s-good-housewife-guide
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This is a hoax. I was buying it for the first few suggestions, but by the time it got to not asking any questions if he stays out all night, I knew it was made up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Wife's_Guide
 
Della said:
This is a hoax. I was buying it for the first few suggestions, but by the time it got to not asking any questions if he stays out all night, I knew it was made up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Wife's_Guide
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Sorry but it was expected practice when I was a young wife. No hoax. Along with it was no police support for physical abuse to wife or children unless it resulted in death. The term 'emotional abuse' had not been invented. Incest was swept under the rug. "We don't talk about weird Uncle Joe. Just stay out of his way." Perhaps it was a regional thing. I lived in the south. We were a normal young couple, no cults or religious fanatics. Maybe not in writing but it was Maybe it wasn't put in writing but it was the culture at the time.The recent article may have been written as a joke but the sentiment was right on.

Were you a young wife during the 50's? I was.

By the way, there was no physical abuse in my situation but lots of emotional but I kicked him to the curb after 22 years but only after blatant infidelty. Yes, I'm a slow learner.
 
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It is so extreme that it's gotta be a joke, yes, even in 1955. And I'm not a guy, so I'm just guessing, but it seems to me that any man who came home every night to such a paragon of perfection, forced cheeriness, forgiveness of anything he says and does (even staying out all night!) and obsession with the cleanliness and perfect decor of her home, would find it irritating as hell. Only a tyrant or a bully, totally full of himself and uncaring about anyone else, would want his spouse to behave that way. The wife in this article is right out of The Stepford Wives.
 
helenbacque said:
Sorry but it was expected practice when I was a young wife. No hoax. Along with it was no police support for physical abuse to wife or children unless it resulted in death. The term 'emotional abuse' had not been invented. Incest was swept under the rug. "We don't talk about weird Uncle Joe. Just stay out of his way." Perhaps it was a regional thing. I lived in the south. We were a normal young couple, no cults or religious fanatics. Maybe not in writing but it was Maybe it wasn't put in writing but it was the culture at the time.The recent article may have been written as a joke but the sentiment was right on.

Were you a young wife during the 50's? I was.

By the way, there was no physical abuse in my situation but lots of emotional but I kicked him to the curb after 22 years but only after blatant infidelty. Yes, I'm a slow learner.
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In our home we had an agreement that inside the house was my responsibility, outside was his. Eventually I noticed that he could do an outside job, stand back and admire his handiwork, knowing that it would not be needed to do over for quite some time.

Inside the house I was dispirited by the way most of my jobs needed to be done everyday, leaving little time over for more satisfying occupations. When I returned to work my depression lifted because my work was valued, not just because it was paid work, but also because people saw what I did and told me I was doing a good job.

That was so good for my self esteem and having some income of my own we were able to pay for a fortnightly cleaner and an ironing service. This left me more time on the weekend to spend with the children, visit family and develop my own interests. I still did all of the washing, shopping and meal preparation but I was happy once more.

Helen, I also had a creepy uncle who lived opposite us. He put the hard word on most of the younger female relatives but for some reason he left my mother alone. I reckon he sensed what would happen if he did not. Instead he just abused her verbally. His son, my cousin, was equally creepy and gave his poor wife a terrible time. His grandmother, also mine, who also lived in the same street, supported him and would hear no bad words because he was family. He died young and his wife and children were released from his influence but they mourned him nevertheless.

All of my other uncles were darlings; wonderful decent men who were great examples of how husbands and fathers should behave for any young girl as she grew up.
 
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helenbacque said:
Sorry but it was expected practice when I was a young wife. No hoax. Along with it was no police support for physical abuse to wife or children unless it resulted in death. The term 'emotional abuse' had not been invented. Incest was swept under the rug. "We don't talk about weird Uncle Joe. Just stay out of his way." Perhaps it was a regional thing. I lived in the south. We were a normal young couple, no cults or religious fanatics. Maybe not in writing but it was Maybe it wasn't put in writing but it was the culture at the time.The recent article may have been written as a joke but the sentiment was right on.

Were you a young wife during the 50's? I was.

By the way, there was no physical abuse in my situation but lots of emotional but I kicked him to the curb after 22 years but only after blatant infidelty. Yes, I'm a slow learner.
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I said nothing about life in the fifties or spousal abuse, I said the article linked was a hoax and it is. According to the wikipedia article about it: "Investigations found this to be a hoax. According to snopes.com, the wording "The Advertising Archives" located on the right side of the image suggests a fraud, since the Archives itself was not started until 1990."
 
helenbacque said:
I married in 1955 at the age of 22. These were expectations we faced with no exceptions made for full time job. Of course, no one could do it all but we were somehow lacking if we didn't succeed.

https://littlethings.com/lifestyle/1950s-good-housewife-guide
Click to expand...
I used to have that magazine or one very similar and the instructions for a "good" wife were exactly like that! I still have a newspaper supplement from 1960 on what to teach your daughter - and it is the same "lessons." Just because something isn't archived until later has no bearing on the authenticity.
 
Sorry @grahamg
Thought that everyone had heard of mansplaining but perhaps men are less aware than women..
Basically it is when a man talks down to an intelligent woman as if she knows sod all about the subject.
You wouldn't really want me to start mansplaining to you.

mansplaining
NOUN informal

the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.

Here is a high level example but women instantly recognise it when on the receiving end.

“I have a degree in Biochemistry and I invented and published a new method for measuring lifespan in these cells I work with. While setting up to run a tutorial session on how to do it, one of the male students started to ‘Correct me’ and explain how to use the method.
Which I invented. And was literally there to teach him.”

Another one -
“I was once shown in great detail how to tape a cardboard box together. I was an aerospace manufacturing engineer at the time.”

And best of all -
“My daughter had to pee and was grabbing at her crotch and doing the potty dance. My boyfriend asked why she kept grabbing her crotch because “it’s not like that helps you hold it” and I said “actually it does, if I put pressure down there when I really have to pee it can keep me from wetting my pants. (Not that that’s happened often.) He argued with me that I was wrong and that’s not how ******s work. He doesn’t even have one! And no he isn’t a doctor. Honestly, he’s a great guy but I couldn’t believe it.”
 
Warrigal said:
Sorry @grahamg mansplaining NOUN informal
[I]the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing. [/I]Here is a high level example but women instantly recognise it when on the receiving end.
[I]“I have a degree in Biochemistry and I invented and published a new method for measuring lifespan in these cells I work with. While setting up to run a tutorial session on how to do it, one of the male students started to ‘Correct me’ and explain how to use the method.
Which I invented. And was literally there to teach him.”[/I]
Another one -
[I]“I was once shown in great detail how to tape a cardboard box together. I was an aerospace manufacturing engineer at the time.”

And best of all -
“My daughter had to pee and was grabbing at her crotch and doing the potty dance. My boyfriend asked why she kept grabbing her crotch because “it’s not like that helps you hold it” and I said “actually it does, if I put pressure down there when I really have to pee it can keep me from wetting my pants. (Not that that’s happened often.) He argued with me that I was wrong and that’s not how ******s work. He doesn’t even have one! And no he isn’t a doctor. Honestly, he’s a great guy but I couldn’t believe it.”[/I]
[/QUOTE]
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Its a very funny thing you know, I read the top two examples you gave for mansplaining as perfectly reasonable behaviour on behalf of the male experts that you and presumably many others see as problematic(?)!
Can I suggest a new word to you, " Feministoversensitivity",(fits the bill in my eyes :) ).
 
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grahamg said:
Its a very funny thing you know, I read the top two examples you gave for mansplaining as perfectly reasonable behaviour on behalf of the male experts that you and presumably many others see as problematic(?)!
Can I suggest a new word to you, " Feministoversensitivity",(fits the bill in my eyes :) ).
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:love:Love you, Graham, but you just explained to me why mansplaining is nothing that women should object to. A perfect example of mansplaining. 🤣
 
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