What's over that hill? I want to go see!

[IrishEyes]

My Oldest Son: Part 2


The next time I heard a hint of the mind games being played on Eddie by his dad, began the thought process of how to limit that
exposure for Eddie. His dad was a tricky guy and I had to be very careful how to achieve this without tearing my son to a breaking
point that could be very damaging.

Eddie had come home from his weekend with dad and again very moody and withdrawn as he sat on the sofa watching me. I
really thought he was going to ask again "Why did you and dad divorce?" Which I always answered "It was because him and I
just can't live together, we are too different, except in the loving you part. That we both do and always will"
I knew to talk about his dad in a negative way would make him stick up for his father and push him even more away. So I never
did. What occurred between his dad and I was just that. One day later on I knew Eddie would see things about his dad and make up
his own mind and he had that choice to make on his own, not forced on him.

I sat down on the sofa with him and asked him why he seemed so sad. Tears welled up and he swallowed and said "I don't want you
to die Mom." Silence pounding in my ears as I looked into that face, fear ripping my heart not knowing what this meant, and yes
anger over thinking "What lengths would his dad actually go?"
I got myself composed and asked "Why do you ask this? Has something scared you to think about that?"
He laid his head on my arm and began patting my hand with his and "Dad said to me, did you know if your Mom would die
you could come live with me forever?" Then he leaned tighter into me as he said "Mom, I would like to live with Dad but I
don't want you to die so I can" My son was 5 years old at that time.

Living with his dad was not an option, he was one of the major weed dealers in the county, only worked under the table when he
did have a job to keep from paying court appointed child support. How that man never got caught dealing is way beyond me.
By this time Eddie would spend the weekends at his Grandmothers house, not dads. She had enough sense to put her foot down
on that so she could still be in Eddie's life. So his dad was showing me he had little regard in wanting to actually be a father.

I had many people raising hell with me to put my foot down and take away his rights to see Eddie, not paying support and not
making a decent home for Eddie to visit. They didn't know him like I did. My doing that could very well lead to these things
he was planting in Eddies mind. He was an expert at mind games and I had to get Eddie away somehow but it had to be somewhat
agreeable and without the court being involved.
I began thinking about moving to Missouri and how I could do it without getting killed or him taking Eddie away someplace I
couldn't find them.

continued later

 

[IrishEyes]

My Oldest Son : Part 3

Never let me get
his face after 12 yrs Ed & my Uncle Jim


His dad having not paid support in 10 years and no work record turned out to be the ace in the hole allowing me to move
Ed away from the every other weekend mind game seed plants of his Dad. My gut had told me to wait while others told me
to rake him over the coals.

I knew it was going to be very hard on Eddie. I knew he was going to act out and try and make me hate him enough to send
him packing. A Mother knows her child, warts, halos and everything between. Carl knew this too and bless his heart he was all
in with me. As could be expected, Eddie was very creative but not too drastic on his misbehaving because surprisingly enough
his Dad agreed to: if he failed a class or got into trouble he could not come visit him.

Later I realized why his dad agreed: During our first years after moving his dad was buying out of Mexico and had to make
several runs a week for the big loads. That always came before his son.
Eddie played the usual games of not doing as asked, fighting with brothers. Then about 12 years old he got sneaky. Carl's job
paid once a month. We would grocery shop for the month all at once and stock up canned goods and fill the deep freeze with
meat and baked items like bread and cupcakes for school lunches. Eddie would take the bread and cupcakes he didn't like
out to the woods and throw them out. He would hide things in the woods and act like he had no idea where it was.
That boy actually punctured a hole in the wall next to his bed where his mattress was in front of it hiding it. He would then
eat the frozen cupcakes he did like and shove the wrappers into that hole, rather than the trash. He kept me on my toes trying
to figure what his latest antics would be and were.

Unfortunately with all the problems we were going through not involving the boys, and Eddie's games added to it there were
times I am not proud of. I resorted to physical punishment at times and hated myself for cracking. I admitted this to a friend
at work and she gave me the answer.
Lock yourself in the bathroom, remain quiet do not answer them if they call for you. Ten to fifteen minutes later simply call to them
through the door and tell them you will be out in 20 minutes and that chore BETTER be done, then sit quietly and listen. I did as
she suggested and I over heard the youngest one tell the others, "Holy cow, Mom is MAD! Hurry let's get our room clean"

I always used that technique after that. Sometimes when they visit now if I go the the bathroom they laugh and ask if I am going
to lock myself in again. I Had no idea or even a thought to some of what Eddie did I never knew about until I was 73 years old.
He had some pretty frightening thigs cross his mind, Thank God, he had enough sense to not act on them.

When Eddie turned 12 doing his laundry and learning to cook simple things became lessons for him. I knew I was running out of time
before I needed to let him go so he could learn about his Dad on his own or he could possibly run away. But I knew he needed to be
able to be self-sufficient if he was going to live with his dad. Ed had no knowledge of why I was teaching him these duties, just another
chore is what he thought.

He still yet would ask me why his dad and I divorced and I kept giving him the same exact answer "We just couldn't live together, we
were too different". I never asked what his dad said about me, it didn't matter. I was sure he could see how different we were himself.

To look at your son and know he really is trying to hate you hurts so bad. To know it is because of things said to him to undermine
your love and to make the other's more powerful feels so defeating. But you know to tell him what you know about the other is just
not going to be believed and make him hate you more. To do this is pretty much handing all your child's love to this person who
doesn't deserve it. You just have to pray, when he finds out the truth he will know why you kept quiet or even if you were a really
good person, you would pray that his dad had changed and can be the hero your child needs.

Spite and hate is a boomerang for Karma to swing back round and bite you back. If it's meant to be it will be if I happen to see it
or not my keeping my anger/revenge out of it will possibly help the truth to be seen and understood and love will win out.


continued

 

[IrishEyes]

My Oldest Son : Part 4

At age 15 it was time to let him go. Praying I managed to teach him something to help him survive to what he was headed
for and come out using some morals and being aware of why I held on to him as I did.
I called his dad and told him and he bought the plane ticket (or so I thought pfft) and it was overnighted delivery.
I sat at the gate with Eddie. He was nervously, anxiously bouncing his leg as he waited to board the plane. Quietly in
thoughts or dreams of what was to come I imagined. When passengers were called to board and we hugged. I told him
I loved him and always did and will and he simply nodded, turned and walked to line up.
On my way home I had to pull over on the interstate in St Louis when tears blinded me and I couldn't breathe from sobbing.
A State Trooper stopped and after hearing why I was parked sat with me until I could drive again.
It was two months before I heard from Eddie. He had lasted 2 months at his dad's and was now living with his Grandmother.
She had made him call me to tell me. I didn't ask why or how, I could tell he was heart broke and didn't want to jab that knife in
further. I was relieved as I knew now he was going to be cared for. I did tell him he was always welcome back if he so chose.
Two years after High School he went into the Army. He was based at Fort Knox and Carl and I went to see his Basic Training
Graduation Ceremony. He told us he wanted to come visit us on his leave before being sent to Germany and I was one happy
Mom hearing that.

Once he arrived at our house and the family came to welcome him home and left he and I were alone and he asked;
"Why did you never tell me what a dick Dad was, that he hit you, sold drugs, never worked a decent job. I kept asking
but you would not say one bad word about him!"
I simply asked him "Would you have believed me?" He thought a minute and said "No, I wouldn't have." I then asked
"Then what would be the point?" He then told me something I never thought of or that would never have entered my mind.

"Mom, do you know why I needed, and I mean I needed to get to dad and got mad at you for now letting me go sooner?"
I just shook my head no. "Because Mom, I always KNEW you loved me, even when you reacted to the crap I pulled on you.
You kept right on proving your love and I was not so sure of his and I needed to KNOW he loved me. And boy did he show
me who he really loves. That all mighty dollar and status of being The Boss Weed Dealer".

"I promise you Mom for all those years he didn't send you a dime, when I get back from Germany, I figure he owes us
about 40k and I will be paid back even if it's 20 bucks at a time". Eddie did it too when he got back, but I didn't accept any of
it, that was his way of healing not mine. I was already healed just knowing he always knew I loved him, never doubted it.

Carl died when Ed was in Germany and in tears he told me over the phone he had wished he had taken the time when he was there to tell
Carl he did love him, admired him and that Carl had taught him more about being a man than his dad ever had. He almost did
he said, but was afraid he would cry in front of Carl and his pride wouldn't allow that. My Eddie had grown into Ed now and
my heart was huge.

Ed went back to L.A. when he got out of the Army and began his pay back schemes. It's not something I would do but since
he had his own reasons for it, I kept out of it. He lived as his dad did, job after job, Partying too much, making up for his lost
chances he had as a child I guess. I called him my "Free Spirit" in search of the meaning of life for himself. Then when at about
age 30 he found it., He was going to be a dad.

His son arrived and his life did a major overhaul. He found a job he could advance in. Began online college courses, became an
avid reader and opened a savings account. He almost married the mother of his son but they both agreed it was never going to
work. She wanted to keep partying and spending everything, working nights at bars and sleeping all day. So Ed got a home and his
son and became a single dad. He was amazing at it. He has 2 Bachelors and 1 Masters degree that his teachers would have been proud
to hear He had found his place in life and enjoying it for the first ever. The best part, he DID it, no one can say they had part in it and his posture sure shows ... I Own this.

He and his son did BMX cross country racing together well enough they were sponsored by companies. He discussed things with
his son, taught him so many things through books and experience. Then his son like him one day wanted to move in with his mom
because he thought Mom needed him more than Ed did. Ed understood now why you never talk bad about the other parent and he
told me when he realized this he had to smile to himself and think "I'll be damned, I did a Mom thing without even knowing it!"

He always gives me "Do" (eskimo kiss) still.
Our conversations have no secrets now, very open and honest and
sometimes I even shock him with things I know. There was one day
I would have never allowed myself to dream he and I would come this
far as Mother and Son, and it sure feels so wonderful!
This was never a success story of me, this is a history of the ups and downs
of a family; no matter how unbelievable parts may sound. There were ugly
times but holding onto those memories are what stunt you, sour you and my
sons don't deserve that, I don't deserve that. Still some bumps headed our
way I am sure but now, we are a team and know Unconditional Love is a REAL thing.

 

[David777]

I was born in downtown Los Angeles and we lived there in San Fernando until moving to the SFBA at age 3. Were you born there? My father was severely injured on a WWII aircraft carrier when a plane landing cable snapped that cut another man beside him in half. My Mom & Dad loved going to Pacific beaches.

Dad and David at Santa Monica Beach in 1949.

 

[IrishEyes]

I was born in downtown Los Angeles and we lived there in San Fernando until moving to the SFBA at age 3. Were you born there? My father was severely injured on an WWII aircraft carrier when a plane landing cable snapped that cut another man beside him in half. My Mom & Dad loved going to Pacific beaches.

Dad and David at Santa Monica Beach in 1949.

View attachment 450177

I was born In Bakersfield, when I was 2-3 yrs old we then moved to Whittier and mostly lived later in the Norwalk area. Yeah I am a desert rat but dislike deserts

 

[David777]

Hello @IrishEyes

I'll be reading your long input when I make time, thank you.

Since I've been stuck at home dealing with a waning case of COVID-19, I've been watching a few YouTube movies to pass the time. Coincidentally of interest to our ancient Los Angeles conversation, I watched on YouTube tonight a 2004 movie, Collateral, with Tom Cruise, Jamie Foxx, and Jada Pickett Smith. It has only recently become a free to watch movie on YouTube.

As someone that hasn't watched many popular movies for years, especially violent movies like this and am not a movie buff, I had never heard of the movie. Tom Cruise is the psycho bad tough guy, a contract killer hit man that arrives in Los Angeles with a list of 6 people to kill. He commandeers a cab driven by Foxxand forces him to drive him around the mostly downtown Los Angeles region at night while working on his list.

It is a startling, gripping, movie from the start, with excellent dialogue between Cruise and Foxx, acclaimed direction, and nighttime photography that well captures the vibe of The City of Lights where one can see probably the most vast sea of lights on the planet, something that always impressed me as a young kid when being driven south coming down from the hills on the Interstate into the San Fernando Valley or from the hills of Beverly Hills looking south. Thus, anyone that has lived in that vast city in the past ought to be fascinated by what it shows.

The movie also gives an accurate portrayal of the slimy, perverse, cesspool world some of it has increasingly become with entrenched groups world criminals. A reason, I haven't returned except to drive through a few times during the day. After wet winters, I often drive south to southwest desert areas for wildflower landscape work. In fact, west of where you were born in Bakersfield, is the Temblor Range and Carrizo Plain National Monument, that during some springs with arguably the most impressive, colorful landscapes on the planet.

 

[IrishEyes]

Hello @IrishEyes

I'll be reading your long input when I make time, thank you.

Since I've been stuck at home dealing with a waning case of COVID-19, I've been watching a few YouTube movies to pass the time. Coincidentally of interest to our ancient Los Angeles conversation, I watched on YouTube tonight a 2004 movie, Collateral, with Tom Cruise, Jamie Foxx, and Jada Pickett Smith. It has only recently become a free to watch movie on YouTube.

As someone that hasn't watched many popular movies for years, especially violent movies like this and am not a movie buff, I had never heard of the movie. Tom Cruise is the psycho bad tough guy, a contract killer hit man that arrives in Los Angeles with a list of 6 people to kill. He commandeers a cab driven by Foxxand forces him to drive him around the mostly downtown Los Angeles region at night while working on his list.

It is a startling, gripping, movie from the start, with excellent dialogue between Cruise and Foxx, acclaimed direction, and nighttime photography that well captures the vibe of The City of Lights where one can see probably the most vast sea of lights on the planet, something that always impressed me as a young kid when being driven south coming down from the hills on the Interstate into the San Fernando Valley or from the hills of Beverly Hills looking south. Thus, anyone that has lived in that vast city in the past ought to be fascinated by what it shows.

The movie also gives an accurate portrayal of the slimy, perverse, cesspool world some of it has increasingly become with entrenched groups world criminals. A reason, I haven't returned except to drive through a few times during the day. After wet winters, I often drive south to southwest desert areas for wildflower landscape work. In fact, west of where you were born in Bakersfield, is the Temblor Range and Carrizo Plain National Monument, that during some springs with arguably the most impressive, colorful landscapes on the planet.

My Mother retired at Lake Isabella above Bakersfield. I loved to drive the Kern River canyon route to get to her home. That is the closest I got back to L.A., other than the connecting flight from there to Bakersfield in a propeller type plane. I loved to go visit her her during Frontier Days at Kernville (Streisand & Brolin actually honeymooned in Kernville). I have seen the wildflowers in bloom in regions in that area and it is an amazing sight I agree. They keep a sign on that river with a death count of how many yearly up to date have died in that river to warn people.

 

[IrishEyes]

I have tried to hand journal but realized people may not be able to read my writing in years to come.
For those wondering why my entries are so long, that is why. I type them as if speaking to my family,
edit them and then print them into an album for the family later.
So for those of you who do read a whole entry... Thank you but I sure don't expect what I am doing here
to be of everyone's style of reading. I think knowing that others may be reading them as I post them help
me to stay focused and committed to getting this done, so thank you for aiding me in my endeavor!

 

[IrishEyes]

Siblings: love em, hate em, make the best of it as you can.

I have 2 younger sisters - 5 & 7 years difference. I barely remember when my first sister was born.
I must have been staying at my grandparents until Mom was up and ready to add me in her care.
The first memory I really have is when she was sick with Scarlet Fever as a baby. I was told to stay away
from the room she was in, but as kids do, I had to sneak a peak. The sight of her bright red, shiny from
sweat scared me. I do think I was whisked away to grandparents until she recovered.

Our young childhood years I really don't recall too much of with any substance. It's when they were
4 & 2 that interactions with them become stronger. The usual child stuff, playing tea party, getting wet in the hose,
playing in the playhouse Grandpa made for me in the backyard and our deep love of animals.
I didn't know growing up that their father was not mine but I kept it secret to myself, my dislike for that man. I felt
guilty I could not love my "Dad" as what seemed to be expected. Honestly, he did show a preference for my fist sister,
his name sake "Roberta" aka Bobbi. So it could have been my first inkling then I didn't quite belong.

I will begin this one at a time beginning with Bobbi.

 

[IrishEyes]

Part 2: Siblings: love em, hate em, make the best of it as you can.
Bobbi:
We hear about the "Middle Child" theory all the time. In hindsight I could swear Bobbi was born pre-destined to
that being part of her personality. She arrived in this world determined to attract attention from negative behavior
from the get go. Very fussy baby, always into things she shouldn't be. Crying over anything she couldn't have her
way with needing to be consoled several times a day. My Uncles nicknamed her "BooHoo Bobbi" behind Mom's back.
If I was playing with her and she got upset she'd run to Mom crying I was being mean to her and of course I was lectured
and placed at the table while Bobbi sat in the high chair eating a cookie smiling. It was most always over me not allowing
her to play with my cherished Breyer Horses, everything else I shared with her except those.
She was not allowed in the garage, so I began keeping my horses out there to end the cycle (Grandpa's suggestion). That
worked for awhile.
When she began school she blossomed with a talent her father had; habitual lying. The beginning of a school year seemed
to always entail "Tell Us About Your Summer Vacation". Bobbi of course could not write yet so they orally got up and gave their
stories. She stood up, all eyes on her and told this tale about her truck driver dad taking all of us to Alaska. We rode so far
we hit a big snow and got stranded and dad went out and chopped down trees and made us a cabin to keep warm in. The
snow melted and we went home.
The teacher quite impressed with her imagination was concerned how Bobbi really felt it was real and had Mom come for
a parent meeting. There were many stories after, some not so drastic as she grew to be more believable but not true still the
same. The real problem was you never knew when you would be the subject of her need to get attention.
I admit freely that this is probably what kept me from being close to my sister and wanting to be at my grandparents more
than home. While I was at grandparents, somehow/someway my stuff began just breaking itself a piece at a time and no one
knew why. What does one do to end this? You quit wanting stuff, when asked what you want for gifts, you say clothes!
My horse collection was moved to Grandma's spare room.

She sadly kept up with these habits for most of her life. At 16 she asked me if she could borrow some of my records for a
party her friend was having and I brought them over to her, about 15 albums in all Beatles, Kinks, etc. Turned out there was
no party, she sold my albums to help finance her plan to run away to Florida. I had a hard time after that believing most
anything she told me, I tried, I really tried and just listened silently to her whenever our paths crossed over the years.

Do I hate/dislike my sister, surprisingly no. She is smart, very funny and can have a great time if she is just living the moment.
It's those quiet sit down times we have to avoid. Last time we saw each other we discussed all the hurtful tales she told about
family members and some very hurtful things she said to me. She told me it was my "eyes" that ate into her soul that made
her nervous and uncomfortable to be around me. We agreed we do best apart and have not seen each other in nearly 20 years.

 

[IrishEyes]

Part 3: Part 2: Siblings: love em, hate em, make the best of it as you can.
Gail
Along comes the baby sister. She was such a happy baby. Delighted with anything and anyone.
I remember trying not to be partial to her but you couldn't help it. She'd approach you with curiosity and
playfulness instead of a demanding way. She remained that way all her life.
With the two being closer in age they did come as a set so I had to be adaptable in how to play with them.
Gail quickly became the more athletic of the three of us as well as the more reckless at times. When she got
hurt she never blamed anyone else. She'd run to mom or myself and say she hurt herself and show us where.
What a breath of fresh air that was for myself and the Uncles.
All three of us had different body types. Gail was always a more muscular type, bigger than others her size.
That girl could outrun and out dance just about anyone. Even at age 5 she had moves I think she came up with
on her own. People loved to watch her dance. Boisterous, loud, bust out in song on a whim, always making you laugh.
As she grew her ability to have empathy and loyalty really became a strong personality trait. She could keep a
secret that no amount of threats could drag it out of her. She kept this all her life also. Which brought us closer
together after Bobbi had run away from home.
In Las Vegas walking into the parking lot a man came out and flashed us. When Gail saw him she did not react as most
people do/would. She started yelling... "Hey Wait a minute, let me see that thing I didn't get a good look" and began running at
the man, he turned and ran like a mad man to get away from her. The rest of us were dying laughing watching her yelling
and running and making other people turn to look. Parking lot guard caught the guy. Gail comes back and says "That's
how you stop that crap!" That's my baby sister, very unpredictable.

to be continued

 

[TeePee]

In hindsight I realize I was always searching and exploring. Never taking things for granted but maybe
needing proof for myself or to experience it for myself. I have no idea, it's just the way I am.
I grew up in Los Angeles County when it was beautiful. Every church had a bell ringing on Sunday, every neighbor hood
had a mini-mart for those quick candy or soda trips and a gas station that would fill your bike tire with air if you needed it.
I remember our houses all had an avocado tree and either an orange or lemon too. One street I lived on actually had a
stable where they bred and raised Arabian show horses. I made friends with that lady right away, My mom used to say
"if there is a horse within a mile of us, she will find it".
My grandparents opened the door to my wanderlust pull when I was young by taking me on trips to see family in
Oklahoma and Arkansas where they came from. Seeing the country from a car and all that changing scenery made my
imagination explode.
"Grandpa....what's over that hill, can we go see?" Even though it was taking us off route for a short while he would snicker and say
"over Yonder we shall go and see where the crow shall go"
I had six Uncles of which at least 2 of them were always present. Mom and I lived with my grandparents until I was not quite 4 years old.
Though we moved out, I was more at grandparents home than my own.
One such time my grandparents had to go grocery shopping and had my 2 uncles Gary and Jim watch me while they were gone. I heard them talking strangely in their room and peaked in.
They were at their bedroom window (2nd floor), window open, screen pulled off and practicing jumping from the window to the tree so they could sneak out at night. I was fascinated, I wanted to do it too.
"I want to jump too" I squealed, they spun around and Gary said a firm "No, you are too little!" For some reason I knew what words to say that I had never said before "Let me or I will tell Grandpa". After discussing how not to be killed from either result...1. me getting hurt, 2. Them getting hurt when Grandpa found out, Gary jumped to the tree, braced himself on the limb and called to Jim " OK....throw her and you better throw hard"
That flight was marvelous! Then Uncle Gary's strong arms and hands catching me was delightful, I wanted to do it again. They bribed me with ice cream
and a bike riding lesson to just stop. I never told my grandparents. Years later Uncle Gary confessed he darn near soiled his pants when I was in midflight.


View attachment 439027

Sound like you had a fun and interesting childhood!

 

[IrishEyes]

Sound like you had a fun and interesting childhood!

Back in the carefree, free to roam days and very loving Grandparents! Thank you, yes it was and Thanks for taking a peek.

 

[IrishEyes]

Part 4: Part 2: Siblings: love em, hate em, make the best of it as you can.
Gail

As with myself and Bobbi, Gail also left home as a teenager. She broke the record though, she moved out at 14 years old.
She stayed with me for awhile but soon she was more at her boyfriend's house than mine and I could sense that day arriving;
Either let me go or I will leave. I talked with Mom, Gail, and Leo's parents. The choice was agreed upon and there went Moms
third daughter. Luckily, I was able to spend time with Gail and watch her progress, safety and her maturing. She did well. I got
to know Leo much better now that the relationship was in the open. He was a smart enjoyable young man.

As first love's many times do, it was not meant to be. This devastated her and her real bad choices began. She began partying
a little too much. She had Mom's agility to drink any man under the table, played Pool like a demon and eventually this lead
to heron use. We lost her for seven years, thought she was dead. She had been homeless, drug addicted and lost 2 babies to
the system and at her 3rd pregnancy she showed up pleading for help to keep this child and stay clean. Mom became Mom
finally and gave her the chance. She had a healthy little girl, worked her way off medications and became a wonderful Mother
in her own right.
I became aware of my admiration for my baby sister. In all these things, these choices, mistakes: She NEVER blamed anyone
but herself for the life she led. She admitted to things she never had to even speak out loud. She confessed with tears flowing
cleansed her soul while fearing judgement from us in doing so. All I could do was love her more.
She was living with Mom still, when Mom passed and again facing uncertainty about her future her survivor instincts kicked
in and she made some drastic choices that should have made me disown her over Mom's properties and lied to me repeatedly
about them. I had to make myself pray for guidance to see her logic and understand why. Again other people not even effected
by any of this had to give me their advice and all told me to "Be DONE with her" , "Kick her to the curb, she stole from you"

I waited three months before I called Gail again for one last chance to give me the truth. Finally she did. Listening to her I
could see that what she did was not a plan to hurt me or steal anything, she actually thought she had me covered. It was
her way of survival that backfired on her big time. She had rented Mom's house to a friend and didn't tell me. She then moved
to Florida to move into my other sister's 2nd house rent free. The rent she charged her friend she kept 3/4 of and sent me the
other to me to pay taxes and insurance. I could see her logic in this. But sadly her friends destroyed the property 2 years later
and left us selling it for land value only.
Maybe I should have disowned her, I couldn't. When I sold the property she did ask if she was entitled to half. I simply told her
"collect your half from your friends, they cost us much more than half of what this is". And we never spoke of it again.
We communicate regularly, make each other laugh. I get to share her feelings of being a grandparent and still though all
that I yet admire her. She owns up and blames no one for any mistake she made, and that is a real rare thing nowadays.