My Oldest Son: Part 2
The next time I heard a hint of the mind games being played on Eddie by his dad, began the thought process of how to limit that
exposure for Eddie. His dad was a tricky guy and I had to be very careful how to achieve this without tearing my son to a breaking
point that could be very damaging.
Eddie had come home from his weekend with dad and again very moody and withdrawn as he sat on the sofa watching me. I
really thought he was going to ask again "Why did you and dad divorce?" Which I always answered "It was because him and I
just can't live together, we are too different, except in the loving you part. That we both do and always will"
I knew to talk about his dad in a negative way would make him stick up for his father and push him even more away. So I never
did. What occurred between his dad and I was just that. One day later on I knew Eddie would see things about his dad and make up
his own mind and he had that choice to make on his own, not forced on him.
I sat down on the sofa with him and asked him why he seemed so sad. Tears welled up and he swallowed and said "I don't want you
to die Mom." Silence pounding in my ears as I looked into that face, fear ripping my heart not knowing what this meant, and yes
anger over thinking "What lengths would his dad actually go?"
I got myself composed and asked "Why do you ask this? Has something scared you to think about that?"
He laid his head on my arm and began patting my hand with his and "Dad said to me, did you know if your Mom would die
you could come live with me forever?" Then he leaned tighter into me as he said "Mom, I would like to live with Dad but I
don't want you to die so I can" My son was 5 years old at that time.
Living with his dad was not an option, he was one of the major weed dealers in the county, only worked under the table when he
did have a job to keep from paying court appointed child support. How that man never got caught dealing is way beyond me.
By this time Eddie would spend the weekends at his Grandmothers house, not dads. She had enough sense to put her foot down
on that so she could still be in Eddie's life. So his dad was showing me he had little regard in wanting to actually be a father.
I had many people raising hell with me to put my foot down and take away his rights to see Eddie, not paying support and not
making a decent home for Eddie to visit. They didn't know him like I did. My doing that could very well lead to these things
he was planting in Eddies mind. He was an expert at mind games and I had to get Eddie away somehow but it had to be somewhat
agreeable and without the court being involved.
I began thinking about moving to Missouri and how I could do it without getting killed or him taking Eddie away someplace I
couldn't find them.
continued later
The next time I heard a hint of the mind games being played on Eddie by his dad, began the thought process of how to limit that
exposure for Eddie. His dad was a tricky guy and I had to be very careful how to achieve this without tearing my son to a breaking
point that could be very damaging.
Eddie had come home from his weekend with dad and again very moody and withdrawn as he sat on the sofa watching me. I
really thought he was going to ask again "Why did you and dad divorce?" Which I always answered "It was because him and I
just can't live together, we are too different, except in the loving you part. That we both do and always will"
I knew to talk about his dad in a negative way would make him stick up for his father and push him even more away. So I never
did. What occurred between his dad and I was just that. One day later on I knew Eddie would see things about his dad and make up
his own mind and he had that choice to make on his own, not forced on him.
I sat down on the sofa with him and asked him why he seemed so sad. Tears welled up and he swallowed and said "I don't want you
to die Mom." Silence pounding in my ears as I looked into that face, fear ripping my heart not knowing what this meant, and yes
anger over thinking "What lengths would his dad actually go?"
I got myself composed and asked "Why do you ask this? Has something scared you to think about that?"
He laid his head on my arm and began patting my hand with his and "Dad said to me, did you know if your Mom would die
you could come live with me forever?" Then he leaned tighter into me as he said "Mom, I would like to live with Dad but I
don't want you to die so I can" My son was 5 years old at that time.
Living with his dad was not an option, he was one of the major weed dealers in the county, only worked under the table when he
did have a job to keep from paying court appointed child support. How that man never got caught dealing is way beyond me.
By this time Eddie would spend the weekends at his Grandmothers house, not dads. She had enough sense to put her foot down
on that so she could still be in Eddie's life. So his dad was showing me he had little regard in wanting to actually be a father.
I had many people raising hell with me to put my foot down and take away his rights to see Eddie, not paying support and not
making a decent home for Eddie to visit. They didn't know him like I did. My doing that could very well lead to these things
he was planting in Eddies mind. He was an expert at mind games and I had to get Eddie away somehow but it had to be somewhat
agreeable and without the court being involved.
I began thinking about moving to Missouri and how I could do it without getting killed or him taking Eddie away someplace I
couldn't find them.
continued later