Part 2: Going to go off roading here with my current thoughts.
This brings me to my Mothers generation of my family.
I would say my Grandfather had higher hopes for me in a career than my Mom did.
She never worked when we were young and she really stressed to me that working even part time
would ease things and give me more purpose in life. This was her way of changing how she was raised.
My Grandfather was well informed and knew how financial security was most likely going to achieved
was but working for a company in a career I could grow in, invest in something and put money into a
savings account just like paying a bill each month. This was his way of changing my future for the better.
His top advice was "Don't you dare marry a brain lazy man!" He never explained in detail on that.
In our family, the same as many others, we were taught to respect others, don't excuse their faults just
accept them and work around them, help them if you can but don't cut off an arm for them.
The main thing I changed or tired desperately was to allow my children to talk, share their thoughts, make them
think and not to just give orders until they grew up.
Was this the next crack in the foundation leading to where we are today? It seemed the right thing to do, seemed
fair as I always hated the "Seen and not Heard" mentality of my growing years. It was my biggest frustration and reason
for crying out of anger.
Another thing I changed was teaching my (oh My!") boys how to do laundry, houseclean and cook. The reason for
that was actually not due to my family experience, it was talking with the girls going to school with my sons and their
comments such as : "No, I don't know how to cook, Mom says she isn't raising me to be a man's slave"
Not just One girl, nearly all of them and I realized where this was headed and taught my sons the rigors of keeping
a home livable. I have had 5 DIL's and none of them cooks and 3 of them helped with other chores.
The one thing I know was very different I changed was to work out your problems by yourself, if at all possible.
Don't rely on others coming to your aid, chances are if they do, they are now invested in your life and will try to
own it. I can say I burned this deep I guess because my sons have always told me when they got into a tight spot
and I offered help: "Mom, I got myself into this, I will get myself out, but I will keep your offer in my mind."
This seems like a good thing, it has it's good and bad parts. My sons are self reliant but with that comes the
big ego in the end.
What did my sons change from my parenting? To be continued
This brings me to my Mothers generation of my family.
I would say my Grandfather had higher hopes for me in a career than my Mom did.
She never worked when we were young and she really stressed to me that working even part time
would ease things and give me more purpose in life. This was her way of changing how she was raised.
My Grandfather was well informed and knew how financial security was most likely going to achieved
was but working for a company in a career I could grow in, invest in something and put money into a
savings account just like paying a bill each month. This was his way of changing my future for the better.
His top advice was "Don't you dare marry a brain lazy man!" He never explained in detail on that.
In our family, the same as many others, we were taught to respect others, don't excuse their faults just
accept them and work around them, help them if you can but don't cut off an arm for them.
The main thing I changed or tired desperately was to allow my children to talk, share their thoughts, make them
think and not to just give orders until they grew up.
Was this the next crack in the foundation leading to where we are today? It seemed the right thing to do, seemed
fair as I always hated the "Seen and not Heard" mentality of my growing years. It was my biggest frustration and reason
for crying out of anger.
Another thing I changed was teaching my (oh My!") boys how to do laundry, houseclean and cook. The reason for
that was actually not due to my family experience, it was talking with the girls going to school with my sons and their
comments such as : "No, I don't know how to cook, Mom says she isn't raising me to be a man's slave"
Not just One girl, nearly all of them and I realized where this was headed and taught my sons the rigors of keeping
a home livable. I have had 5 DIL's and none of them cooks and 3 of them helped with other chores.
The one thing I know was very different I changed was to work out your problems by yourself, if at all possible.
Don't rely on others coming to your aid, chances are if they do, they are now invested in your life and will try to
own it. I can say I burned this deep I guess because my sons have always told me when they got into a tight spot
and I offered help: "Mom, I got myself into this, I will get myself out, but I will keep your offer in my mind."
This seems like a good thing, it has it's good and bad parts. My sons are self reliant but with that comes the
big ego in the end.
What did my sons change from my parenting? To be continued