What's your bad habit/s ?

feywon said:
The bold ones: The first two are related---worry as opposed realistic preparations for potential problems (looking at situations and figuring our what you can change and how you can change it) is a useless emotion and actually grows out of not trusting oneself (and if you often think the worst of yourself, than you probably don't) to be able to either find solutions/resolutions to problems or to cope effectively with the things we can't control.

Being overly emotional is a subjective thing. (So is 'swearing too much'--but if you address other issues you may find that decreases on it's own.) Anger? Sadness? Crying empathetically about the suffering of others? Were you often told this by important figures in your life when younger?

Personally, i don't think anyone (even a parent or a spouse) has a right to dictate anyone's else emotional states. But all too often we have the voices of people we loved/admired echoing in our heads telling us we shouldn't be angry or sad about something that effected us deeply.

As a parent we can set limits on what a child may do without consequences, particularly to other living beings, when they are angry but as someone who struggled mightily for years due to suppressing emotions, i always encouraged them to find words to express their anger and figure out why they were angry.

Fault finding: With whom? Yourself? Others? Both? In any case, like other harsh judgements made about oneself it may be a product childhood conditioning. Not easy to break such habits, but it definitely doable.
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Feywon, I can’t tell you how appreciative I felt reading your post.

When I’m truly working on raising my awareness , I can’t help but notice it also raises my consciousness but lately practicing acceptance of my life is getting harder to do. It feels as though my world is getting smaller.

You are exactly right in your analysis. It does boil down to trust. There isn’t a lot of trust in my environment for reasons I can’t explain . They are beyond comprehension. If I were to talk to a professional about them, I’d most likely get diagnosed and medicated needlessly. There is no solution for what I’m going through but I am trying my best to surrender to it.

After reading Mitch’s thread about needing to accept all bad things that happen to you, it angers me that I know he’s right. We can kick & scream all we like to things we can’t change and the only thing we are doing is damaging ourselves.

Accepting ourselves, IS accepting our immediate environment and if we can’t do that then we will be in endless turmoil.

Being over emotional is something I can’t remember not being. I do actually believe some people are born empaths and can become overwhelmed or overly stimulated far more than the overage person. It usually comes across as overly dramatic and there definitely ARE solutions that help with that. Yes I was often told that I was an overly emotional trouble maker.

Your next paragraph is profound.
It really has me reflecting on a lot of life experiences and the conclusions I’ve come to due to them. There are things we can do to help certain vulnerabilities and there are some we can do absolutely nothing about and THAT in itself has me FURIOUS!!
I’m so unbelievably pissed off I doubt I can put it into words all with a PG rating. I honestly don’t know what to do with this anger but it does head inward and turn to depression.

I’m so incredibly disappointed in humanity in general that the feeling can ruin my day to day existence. Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of Dan Gibson Solitudes which I find soothing and I’m trying to absorb some heart warming spiritual stuff. Generally this would instantly lift me up but even this doesn’t seem to penetrate this thick iron wall I’ve surrounded myself with.

I’ve written poems and posted them here, then I’ll delete them cause I feel too exposed. Almost daily, I do yoga. It not only helps ease the stiffness and arthritis but it really helps ease my consciousness and spirit.

Just the act of ‘simplifying’ my life in every aspect, I find hugely beneficial.

Fault finding? I think I started doing this myself when I was a very young girl. The reason I did it was to help prepare myself. I figured if I could find my faults before my parents or others pointed them out, then it wouldn’t be so shocking and hurtful when they did. Little did I realize that I was compounding the problem tenfold. My father had OCD and I believe I inherited some of these traits. Traits I tend to torture myself with.

Fault finding! Sometimes I believe that if I find other peoples faults that I’ll be more protected. 🤦‍♀️ I’d be on-guard but unfortunately I’m on-guard 24/7 which isn’t the least bit healthy.

OCD…. I’m quick to find things that don’t follow patterns which made me advance in quality control but other than that, it’s useless. It’s basically still an overly stimulated mind. I have to deliberately distract myself from as much external influence or stimuli as much as possible in order to give my mind a much needed rest.

The bad habits stem from conditioning but I took them to a whole new level. I’m working on decompressing it all. It’s just too much.

Thanks for helping me Feywon.
You helped give me a new perspective which I really needed.
 
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@PeppermintPatty One reason it helps talking about things with people is because even if they have very different perspectives often hearing those can help us clarify our view of things.

And i agree that some seem to be born more empathic than average but how our families characterize and respond to that can deeply effect our own self image.
 
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I have a busy mouth, but not the talking kind. I am constantly tapping teeth together, or running my tongue over every tooth and gums. Sometimes it's to a rythym, sometimes it's absolutly random..but it's constant. My teeth are worn down and I'm always chipping or breaking them, I have had almost every tooth in my mouth repaired.
 
hollydolly said:
BTW @Gary O' ..I still count... even count while I'm filling the kettle.. .but I don't think it's a bad habit..:D
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Gary O' said:
Depends on what yer counting, and how long, or where, in the count, you must end up
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I'm also a counter, but it's more to engage my brain while doing something rote like brushing my teeth. Don't need to end at a particular number. That would be a drag...
 
There is so much in the world that is dysfunctional, and it makes me dysfunctional. I think it has become a habit to feel like something is wrong. I find myself trying to figure out how to navigate all the BS and then blame my self or get frustrated and angry over things not working out. Is it me, or the system? Probably a bit of both.
 
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