When Was Your Last Really Good Cry aka Sobbing

L

Lon

Well-known Member
Location
Central California
I was asked that question this morning and even though as a kid I never cried much, nor as a adult. However. despite my tearing up at my wife's Memorial Service in 1989 the only really crying & sobbing event for me was 1987 when I had to take my little Miniature Poodle Yum Yum to the Vet to be put out. It's hard for me to believe now. I had to pull my car off the highway after I left the Vet because I was crying so hard I couldn't drive.
 

To tell the truth I don't cry so much anymore...oy, that I might start and not be able to stop sometime. But a few days ago somebody posted something that tickled my funny bone so hard...the tears were flying but I was laughing. I think crying...liquid coming from our eyes in any form is catharsis.

I too have taken many creatures on their last visit to the vet. Even a rat I rescued from a nasty pet shop...I only knew him for a few weeks but he was beyond fixing. As I handed him to the nurse I cried my heart out. When it's time for Sophie I'll need medication too.
 

I believe it was when my Lucy bird died last year on Memorial day. I held her in my hands as she passed on and the tears streamed down my face.
 
There are people who don't like critter companions and I don't think I would really care to know them. But isn't it amazing how close our animals friends are to us really?
 
I remember it like it was yesterday. Had to put down our beloved beagle down. It was a rainy Sunday and she was in liver failure. I knew the end was near, but was holding out hope. My wife said it's time, we need to take her today. We found a vet open on a Sunday, brought her down and were with her in the room. I patted her head as the drugs took hold, told her I loved her and to sleep well, and when the vet said "she's gone" I was a sobbing mess. I sank to the floor in the corner just letting all the emotions come out. We'd raised her from six weeks old. The only time I'd cried like that was when my best friend took his life many years earlier.

In December my father-in-law passed away. I'd known him for over 40 years, and alone in the hospice room with him that morning, I lost my composure as I said my private goodbye to him, but it was nothing like the immediate, overwhelming grief I felt when my dog died.
 
There have been a ridiculous amount of death and violence related incidents during the past year and a half. I think I have a cloud named after me at this point. I think the well has run dry for the moment.
 
To tell you the truth.. I don't really cry all that much. Animal stories and beautiful music and bring a tear to my eye.. but I don't remember the last time I really sobbed about anything.
 
Shalimar said:
There have been a ridiculous amount of death and violence related incidents during the past year and a half. I think I have a cloud named after me at this point. I think the well has run dry for the moment.
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Empathy has its costs, but is much needed. I empathize.
 
Lets just say, I'm not a fan of the holiday season, never fails to bring out strong emotions, not matter how much I try to suppress them. Not the only occasion, just too much suffering all around.
 
I was going to say I cannot remember but Lon's OP reminded me that I came unstuck when my daughter told me that she was leaving home aged 20. She is now 52 years old.

I too was driving the car and crying uncontrollably and very irrationally. To regain control I had to resort to a mental device. I drove to the edge of the harbour and mentally threw my mother persona into the sea. I drove away as my premarriage self, a younger me who was not yet a mother. For awhile I even signed my name using my maiden name. I knew I had to do something because I was close to savaging my daughter and she had done nothing wrong other than unintentionally cause me a painful emotional wound.

It worked, and she never knew how I felt. I got over it and resurrected the mother after a few weeks of respite.
 
When I had to put my first black Lab, Jethro, to sleep, I came completely unglued and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I was so unglued I missed a couple of days work. That was many years ago.

I don't cry much anymore; I more retreat into a grim quiet place in my head until I can manage. Probably not a very healthy way to deal with stuff.
 
Since my husband died three years ago I cry often. It's almost always when I'm alone in my house. I cried today thinking about my brother's upcoming visit--the first in four years, and the first since Greg died. When I see/saw people for the first time after losing Greg I always cry. It's like I haven't really shared it with them, and given them a chance to touch me in comfort. My best friend and other brother wanted me to watch "the feel good movie" of the last few years--"Love Actually". The first story was about Liam Neeson's character losing his wife too young and having to raise their child alone. I knew that in the next few years after the movie was made that same thing exactly would happen to him in real life when his precious wife had a freak skiing accident and died. The irony just made we weep thru the whole movie because I knew what he was going to have to go through the pain like I had. I'm so much more empathetic than I was before. That's a good thing.

suze
 
Come to think of it, the last time I really sobbed was when my dachshund died five years ago. The only time I had to pull the car over and cry was the first time I heard the Eric Clapton song, "Will You Know My Name If I See You In Heaven." My son was very sick at the time (he recovered, thank God.)
 
That's a song I have to turn off if it comes on and/or walk out of the store. Dolly singing "I Will Always Love You". Any Sarah McLachlan and I need to be medicated...I came close to crying today. There was a big pride fest today. Halfway through a speaker took the stage and had a moment of silence for Orlando...then he gave the most uplifting talk about the freedom to love and finding strength in tragedy...but you know there were a lot of wet eyes...
 
By this age we have all lost so many. I get tears in my voice. I get choked up, off and on. For years I couldn't talk about the murders my brother committed without getting tears in my voice. Both of my parents are dead. I've lost lots of wonderful animals. I've lost so many family members. I lost a sweetheart for other reasons. All of this caused tremendous heartache. But the last time I had a sobbing cry was 28 years ago when my sweetheart died suddenly of pancreatic cancer. I'd finally found someone who loved me the way I was and wanted to spend his life with me. He died 2 1/2 years after I met him. It ripped me open and poured acid into the wound. I had to rebuild myself from scratch.
 
Oh, Phoenix, I feel for you right now. So much hurt and tragedy in one life. I see now why you have chosen the Phoenix as your avatar. I admire your resilience. Really admire it.
 
Warrigal said:
Oh, Phoenix, I feel for you right now. So much hurt and tragedy in one life. I see now why you have chosen the Phoenix as your avatar. I admire your resilience. Really admire it.
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Thank you for your kind understanding. The eighties was my Murphy's Law decade. Since then there have been repeated heartaches, but I've grown so much. I am grateful to learn. But I must admit on some days, I am back to base one, like most of us are, I think. A number of things bring it on. PTSD, like Shalimar says, is with us all in some way or another. So kindness to each other is primary. My grand aunt Lottie helped me learn resilience, through her example. She refused to be defeated no matter the heartache and betrayal by others. She is my hero. I didn't get to know her until after the murders. She was a rock of a woman, one I chose/choose to emulate.
 
fureverywhere said:
At our age so much hurt...somehow we still move on...how I haven't figured out yet...
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Age is a foreign country that we enter if we live long enough. We learn how to be old in incremental steps. Some of these are exacerbated by illness and disease. There are aging issues in the fifties. More show up in the sixties. The seventies add more to our arsenal in being old. By the eighties more stuff happens, and we adjust as best we can. By the mid eighties in all the old people I've observed, and in my family there were a lot, the person is definitely in a different space than when they were even in their mid sixties. I watched my mom age. She lived to be ninety-one. My grand aunt lived to be ninety-seven. Now in my upper sixties, I'm still growing up to be old.
 
Phoenix, I really admire you. Except for losing my Mom long ago and two daughters who might as well be dead...I never had to deal with any great calamities...then suddenly a whole host of them come snowballing at you...but like you say I guess we just somehow evolve...I always hated that slogan " One day at a time"...but now it makes sense. We have today and just make the best of it...like just putting in blueberry bushes can just make everything brighter. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
 

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