hollydolly
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- Location
- London England
yes even today I can't tell it face to face with anyone without breaking down... easier behind a screenIt has to be painful just to tell.
yes even today I can't tell it face to face with anyone without breaking down... easier behind a screenIt has to be painful just to tell.
There is a difference between a spanking and a beating they are not synonymous. While indeed some of us did earn the occasional spanking. No child deserves a beating. (Except maybe one who has been bullying another child who finally fights back). Tho sadly many of those bullies are taught at home that might makes right by parents who never think to inform them that sooner or later they will either run into a worse bully they than them or into someone who refuses to be a passive victim.Some of my younger co-workers are horrified when I tell them the stories. I'm 62 and still working with a group of software engineers, me and one other guy are the 2 oldest, he's also 62.
They are mortified that actual physical punishment existed and that we somehow survived it! We survived the beatings and totally deserved it!
I was class aide for my son's kindergarten class, one day a week. There was a little girl who I took to the bathroom one day and she wanted me to see the scars from how her mother beat her. Welts all over her thighs. I realized I couldn't be seen with an undressed child in a bathroom, got her back to the class. On my way to the office to report this, I met the principle ass't in the hallway. Told him story. He said the mother is a 300 lb. heroin addict who was extremely aggressive and he was not going to. He was afraid!!!!well they..certainly my father deserved to be locked up... but my mother made it clear to use that if we told the police ( and my brother and I did run to the police station one time, and the police came to the house but my mother denied anything had happened.. ).. that we kids would all be sent to live apart in separate children's homes... and we would be responsible for the break up of the family!
As kids we lived with better the devil we knew .. and having been placed in Foster homes already on several occasions we didn't like it.. so we stuck with it.. but as we got into our teens the beatings became much worse.. and ultimately my mother took her own life.. ( so much more to say but not on this forum)..
Poor you.. this is a terrible situation to find yourself in... Nowadays things are different , it's illegal to smack children in the UK, and children are encouraged to Tel.. and are taken seriously..unlike back in my day... Teachers could see our bruises but they never asked anything of us..so altho' they knew it was happening they didn't want to get involvedI was class aide for my son's kindergarten class, one day a week. There was a little girl who I took to the bathroom one day and she wanted me to see the scars from how her mother beat her. Welts all over her thighs. I realized I couldn't be seen with an undressed child in a bathroom, got her back to the class. On my way to the office to report this, I met the principle ass't in the hallway. Told him story. He said the mother is a 300 lb. heroin addict who was extremely aggressive and he was not going to. He was afraid!!!!
I wasn't afraid, but it caused me to think of my former foster care job; how we "rescued" a family of five kids. That night, the youngest was scalded to death by the new foster mother.
I didn't report poor little Ebony's mother. I was afraid too---not for me, but for Ebony. What situation would I be sending her to? Would it be worse?
Unfortunately it might have been. You were in a terrible position, another victim of Ebony's "mother".I didn't report poor little Ebony's mother. I was afraid to---not for me, but for Ebony. What situation would I be sending her to? Would it be worse?
Always wonder why one child gets punished and their sibling(s) don't?My Mom would hit me with a wooden spoon. Lucky for me my older sister would stand in front of me knowing my Mom would never hit her.
Or, messed-up individuals who want to show they're more Powerful than children.Up to 9, I lived with my mom and dad and when I would get into trouble, I was punished, but never hit. I once broke my mom’s favorite vase by throwing a ball in the house after my mom had just told me to take it outside. That cost me a week in my room after school each day, Monday through Friday without watching TV. I could only come downstairs for dinner. The other time was when I ran over the neighbor’s flowers on my bike trying to show off. For that, I had to give the neighbor a letter of apology and $3 out of the bank in my room.
At 9, I went to live with my grandparents and we lived on a farm in the country, so there really wasn’t any trouble to get into, except I said the word “damn” and grandma heard it and even though she talked to me about “cussing,” as she called it, I wasn’t allowed any treats or desserts for a whole week. You know what it was like to go without a candy bar for a week when you’re 11 years old?
I don’t know why some parents felt it necessary to hit their children and especially if they used a weapon like a belt. Maybe that’s the way they were punished whenever they messed up.
In some cases it can be favoritism, which is bad enough, but in other cases it can be scapegoat/golden-child.Always wonder why one child gets punished and their sibling(s) don't?
I was the one who got most of the beatings.. my brother next.. and the 2 younger girls never got hit at all.. so when my sister 3 years younger got her first and only slap when she was about 18 .. after doing something really bad.. you would have thought the world had caved in.. she got one slap.. and she screamed and ranted for days..In some cases it can be favoritism, which is bad enough, but in other cases it can be scapegoat/golden-child.
Adults (parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, teachers, religious instructors) often 'cast' a child in a role at early age and resist perceiving anything that contradicts their judgement. Common roles are Golden Child (who can do no wrong, but if they are caught doing wrong to the parent it must be someone else's fault somehow); the Jester; the Scapegoat (most often assigned the blame for any musdeed if the Golden one).Always wonder why one child gets punished and their sibling(s) don't?