Which do you think is more the marrying kind-men or women, both?

StarSong said:
Absolutely agree, RR. Particularly as we drift into senior years, the less interested women are and the more interested men seem to be.
Lots of guys looking for a nurse with a purse...
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I can attest to THAT! In the couple of years I dated before I settled down (in unwedded bliss) with the Spousal Equivalent, any number of senior gentlemen started talking marriage on the second date.
 

I think that these days, neither one. So many couple living together without benefit of marriage. I think they prefer it. Back in the day I tried to convince my boyfriend to just live with me (cus it was pretty scandalous and exciting) but he insisted we get married. It'll be 47 years in June. He's so conventional. LOL!
 
Which do you think is more the marrying kind-men or women, both?

Wimin

None of my buds were ever looking to get hooked up
Nor I

But..... (a little story here)

over 50 yrs ago;

Late sixties
I’m around twenty
Been passing for mid-twenties for some time, thanks to my ruddy Irish completion

Met what could be the lady of my life
Together for some months
‘Some months’ never happened before
Not intended
It just happened

Got a bit claustrophobic
Didn’t actually realize it, as I wasn’t in tune with feelings
I’d been thru wimin and wimin had been thru me at a rather short/fast rate

Needed to be free…er
Told her I was taking some time off, going on a trip with some guys
‘It’s an annual thing’

She didn’t say much
She probably felt the same way I did

Packed a few things
Grabbed my buddy, George, and off we went

Gonna hit the Pacific coast, about 1200 miles west
Time to drive….breathe

My heart was sinking, but my mind fought back
We were done
She won’t be there whenever I get back

Found a beach
There were around 12 of us
Met some ladies
Built a huge bonfire

Ate like pigs
Drank like preteens
Swam in the ocean
Cranked up the tunes

I’d done this a few times before, and had a great time
Not this time

Grabbed George
Headed home

We normally took turns driving
I drove all the way
Straightened some curves

The only thing this trip did for me was show me who I needed, wanted more than anything

Got back into Houston
Dropped George off

Drove into the gravel drive of the garage apartment on Munger, her and I both loved
It sat nicely nestled under the huge pecan trees
We’d lay under them, on the random edged lawn after dark, discovering chiggers

When I got off work, grime from head to toe, hard hat hair do, dried sweat, grease, and just plain filthy, I couldn’t even get outa the truck….here she’d come,
running, cutoff jeans, my shirt, tied at the waist, no shoes
…..and throw herself into my grubby arms

These thoughts crowded my mind as I threw my bag of clothes over my shoulder and trudged up the garage apartment stairs

I so missed her
My heart literally ached
Wonder where she is….
….who she’s with

Half way up the stairs a heavenly aroma enveloped me
Shrimp gumbo
I opened the door

My lady, my gorgeous, comely, lovely lady ran into my arms

That was almost fifty years ago

Thru the various events of those years, that harden couples…..nothing’s changed

Wait....it's even better, in ways unimagined

If she goes first, I'm gonna sell most everthing and move to the coast
Build a shack
Mosey the beach
Find a warm watering hole
Sip suds
Write (if I still have any marbles)

Bore younger folk to effing tears

Never ever will remarry

Can't
 

Gary O' said:
Which do you think is more the marrying kind-men or women, both?

Wimin

None of my buds were ever looking to get hooked up
Nor I

But..... (a little story here)

over 50 yrs ago;

Late sixties
I’m around twenty
Been passing for mid-twenties for some time, thanks to my ruddy Irish completion

Met what could be the lady of my life
Together for some months
‘Some months’ never happened before
Not intended
It just happened

Got a bit claustrophobic
Didn’t actually realize it, as I wasn’t in tune with feelings
I’d been thru wimin and wimin had been thru me at a rather short/fast rate

Needed to be free…er
Told her I was taking some time off, going on a trip with some guys
‘It’s an annual thing’

She didn’t say much
She probably felt the same way I did

Packed a few things
Grabbed my buddy, George, and off we went

Gonna hit the Pacific coast, about 1200 miles west
Time to drive….breathe

My heart was sinking, but my mind fought back
We were done
She won’t be there whenever I get back

Found a beach
There were around 12 of us
Met some ladies
Built a huge bonfire

Ate like pigs
Drank like preteens
Swam in the ocean
Cranked up the tunes

I’d done this a few times before, and had a great time
Not this time

Grabbed George
Headed home

We normally took turns driving
I drove all the way
Straightened some curves

The only thing this trip did for me was show me who I needed, wanted more than anything

Got back into Houston
Dropped George off

Drove into the gravel drive of the garage apartment on Munger, her and I both loved
It sat nicely nestled under the huge pecan trees
We’d lay under them, on the random edged lawn after dark, discovering chiggers

When I got off work, grime from head to toe, hard hat hair do, dried sweat, grease, and just plain filthy, I couldn’t even get outa the truck….here she’d come,
running, cutoff jeans, my shirt, tied at the waist, no shoes
…..and throw herself into my grubby arms

These thoughts crowded my mind as I threw my bag of clothes over my shoulder and trudged up the garage apartment stairs

I so missed her
My heart literally ached
Wonder where she is….
….who she’s with

Half way up the stairs a heavenly aroma enveloped me
Shrimp gumbo
I opened the door

My lady, my gorgeous, comely, lovely lady ran into my arms

That was almost fifty years ago

Thru the various events of those years, that harden couples…..nothing’s changed

Wait....it's even better, in ways unimagined

If she goes first, I'm gonna sell most everthing and move to the coast
Build a shack
Mosey the beach
Find a warm watering hole
Sip suds
Write (if I still have any marbles)

Bore younger folk to effing tears

Never ever will remarry

Can't
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Your story resonates with me, Gary.
I was 27. I'd been going with this guy for a year, but in different living quarters. I was ready to bring the relationship forward by moving in together. He was not.

Although I loved him with all my heart, I told him my days of dating without a future plan were in my rear view mirror. His apparently were not. An impossible impasse. We both wept but broke up that very night.

The following day was my employer's company picnic. As a manager, my attendance was required. Rather than wallow in grief, I put aside my sadness, slapped on my happy face and had a good time. Came home in a pretty good mood, thinking I've got this... I've had breakups before and recovered, I'll just have to do it again. Slid the key in my apartment door and could hear the phone ringing.

Apparently my (newly) ex had spent a miserable day at a pub with his best friend, sure that he'd made a terrible mistake. Kept trying to reach me, envisioning a scenario where I wasn't answering my phone because I was done with him and was shopping for someone new, etc., etc.

We moved in together within a month, got married a year later, and have had a wonderful marriage ever since.

If he went first I would not remarry. There would be no way to duplicate what I've got now. Better to withdraw from that arena than settle for something less. I'd spend time doing things with my kids, GFs, and other friends.
 
StarSong said:
Your story resonates with me, Gary.
I was 27. I'd been going with this guy for a year, but in different living quarters. I was ready to bring the relationship forward by moving in together. He was not.

Although I loved him with all my heart, I told him my days of dating without a future plan were in my rear view mirror. His apparently were not. An impossible impasse. We both wept but broke up that very night.

The following day was my employer's company picnic. As a manager, my attendance was required. Rather than wallow in grief, I put aside my sadness, slapped on my happy face and had a good time. Came home in a pretty good mood, thinking I've got this... I've had breakups before and recovered, I'll just have to do it again. Slid the key in my apartment door and could hear the phone ringing.

Apparently my (newly) ex had spent a miserable day at a pub with his best friend, sure that he'd made a terrible mistake. Kept trying to reach me, envisioning a scenario where I wasn't answering my phone because I was done with him and was shopping for someone new, etc., etc.

We moved in together within a month, got married a year later, and have had a wonderful marriage ever since.

If he went first I would not remarry. There would be no way to duplicate what I've got now. Better to withdraw from that arena than settle for something less. I'd spend time doing things with my kids, GFs, and other friends.
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A heartwarming read Starsong. I wish you both every happiness in your marriage.💝 Your concluding paragraph is so true of me.
 
When I was young (b. 1933) societal norms dictated much more female behavior than today. 'Coloring outside the lines' branded one at best a rebel. To deviate far from the norm ('virginal' marriage in early 20s , produce 2 1/2 children 2 years apart) indicated a personal flaw, a family embarrassment.

Mild bad behavior by the young male was accepted and even amusing - "boys will be boys".

I'm glad that the behavior field has leveled somewhat for the young women of today. Some of our new normals are good. and society as a whole is better for the changes. Mature, intelligent, independent women have a lot to give to the world when they are allowed access.
 
Marriage is claustrophobic, strangling
Then when she is gone for three days on business trips, you miss her
She returns-your happy, happy,
Within the moth strangling again.

I really wanted twin beds-"NO."
I wanted separate bedrooms around year five-"NO."
"I didn't get married to sleep alone."

The answer is: I have no idea, each twosome has to work it out, and most can't.

Joke: Why did you marry me?
So I'd have someone to bitch at.
 
Ladybj said:
You sound a little like my daughter..she is 27 yrs old. She is a beautiful young lady. She lives alone, no kids. She informed me that she is not sure if she will marry. I am at the point where I am accepting it..but its hard, however it is her life and I want her to be happy whatever decision she makes. She has to live her life, not live her life as I see fit for her. But I do foresee marriage for her and a Gbaby would be a HUGE PLUS....Let us Pray 🙏 lol.
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She is lucky that she lives in an age where she can make that choice. In the past, if a girl didn't want to marry, she became a nun!
 
I am always amazed that the most craven skirt chaser wants a stable home with a loving wife and kids. I have buddies that I wouldn't leave alone with a dog, who dream the same dream teenage girls do about a home with the picket fence, etc. Go figure. There is a difference in living together and marriage. But only legally. It's hard to explain. Your 4th boyfriend can move out and it's not considered a failure, but having 4 marriages is.
 
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Fuzzybuddy says: "I have buddies that I wouldn't leave alone with a dog."
I know what he means, there are some guys that feel they must be a Romeo in ALL circumstances, what puzzles me is, females like these guys
 
When I was young and wanted kids I married. At this point in my life, I prefer being single and living alone, not because I'm bitter since I'm not. I want any relationships at this point to be about mutual fun and satisfaction and not financial or care-taking obligations.
 
WOW! Lot's of deep thinking on the subject.

I hate to admit it but there was little planning or deep thought between my girlfriend and I when we decided to marry. I was starting the third (and last year ) of my military hitch - -we had dated for 2 years and been engaged for 6 months - -I was 22 -she was 19. No job waiting for me and neither of us from wealthy families.

We did it back in 1956 and here we are today at 86 and 83 - -our kids are moving into their 60's trailed by a flock of grandkids and great grands. We were deeply in love then, as kids, and still are today.

No big master plan but it all worked out. I wouldn't wish to change a thing, but wouldn't recommend the lack of planning. The trip can be a bit easier with a bit more security to start with. Just good luck in our case - I'd guess.. :)
 

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