Who can you trust when comes to money?

Robert59

Robert59

Well-known Member
Location
Now I live in Tennesee. Did live in Michigan.
Have a fourth cousin that is power attorney on my will and now she wants to control where the money is spent. She in past worked for the funeral home and wants to spend 25.000 dollars on a funeral. Also wants to spend on home nurses which I don't need right now. Her family are nurses. I think I would Think I would let the state of Tennessee control my estate instead of family?
 

Like my 86 year old Dad told me...

"Son. When someone dies you put a pot of money on the table...and it's game on."

The elderly are very susceptible to getting quickly divested of their wealth by nefarious interlopers. Be very careful in arranging your affairs properly.
 
Beezer said:
Like my 86 year old Dad told me...

"Son. When someone dies you put a pot of money on the table...and it's game on."

The elderly are very susceptible to getting quickly divested of their wealth by nefarious interlopers. Be very careful in arranging your affairs properly.
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Yes! Humans can truly be savages, especially when they know for certain they can get away with it.
 
Robert59 said:
Have a fourth cousin that is power attorney on my will and now she wants to control where the money is spent. She in past worked for the funeral home and wants to spend 25.000 dollars on a funeral. Also wants to spend on home nurses which I don't need right now. Her family are nurses. I think I would Think I would let the state of Tennessee control my estate instead of family?
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I'm thinking that maybe you know in your gut that something is terribly wrong here and that's why you asked advice? If that's true, then I agree... something is terribly wrong. I have one or two 1st cousins I *may* trust for some issues, but I don't even know most of my 2nd cousins, let alone 3rd... or 4th. In any case, if you truly don't have family, I'd suggest finding out who can serve as POA in your state. Can a regular attorney? I think you need to change your will before this person drains you dry.
 
Robert59 said:
Have a fourth cousin that is power attorney on my will and now she wants to control where the money is spent. She in past worked for the funeral home and wants to spend 25.000 dollars on a funeral. Also wants to spend on home nurses which I don't need right now. Her family are nurses. I think I would Think I would let the state of Tennessee control my estate instead of family?
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I asked here regarding giving info to a sibling. I haven't and funny how now we haven't had a monthly breakfast for 2 months now. 🤔🤔
 
I know a couple of people (not relatives) who are absolutely scrupulous and honorable. I wouldn't ask them to handle my affairs though, because they live far away, and our relationship is not such that I'd inflict my problems on them.

I have very few relatives. One is in poor health, another is bad with money, etc. I've been dithering about a will for years. I think I'll just let the chips fall where they may.
 
I'm going to have to make a will.

The reason I was absent from this forum for the past 4 months was because both of my wife's parents passed away within 4 days of each other in November. Hon is bipolar and needs lots of my attention and TLC. We also had to scramble to move out of our place and into the new inherited home. The upside? No rent...the house is paid off.

I retired from my shipping job during the process, but will continue to work elsewhere down the road. So I won't declare myself retired just yet.
 
@Robert59 A $25,000 funeral? Whaaaaat? That would be hard no! In case it hasn't occurred to you, she's very, very likely getting a heckuva kickback (commission) on that.

As for the nurses in her family, that's also a hard no!

What you really need to do is consult an elder care attorney; not just any attorney, an elder care attorney. Please! For your own peace of mind.
 
I gave my daughter and 2 sons Power of Attorney. For any major decisions (going to nursing home, end of life decisions), 2/3 majority prevail. I have a "Living Will" and hopefully they will honour my wishes (ie not be on life support when there is not much chance of a "normal" life.)

Robert: Very good advice from C50.
 
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I trust my son, I'd also trust my honorary son (HS), his best friend for decades who is so much like me and has so much integrity. He and I periodically discuss financial stuff, including our assets. He handles money matters very efficiently. In fact I recently asked him if he wouldn't mind being a co-executor on my will. If something happens to my son or us at the same time, I know my HS would make sure my grandchildren (his honorary niece and nephews) get what's coming to them. I'd also absolutely trust my BFF.

Robert...change you POA as soon as you can before you get wiped out! Does she have a limited or unlimited POA? And I also ask if there isn't someone closer...but assume there must not be if you chose a 4th cousin.
 
@Robert59: If you are at a loss where to begin, go to someone at a desk in your bank. Start by making sure that no one has access to your money besides you right now.

Go back to the person (hopefully an attorney) who completed the POA for you and explain your situation and what you wrote above.

*******I have a question: in your original post you stated:
Robert59 said:
fourth cousin that is power attorney on my will
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Do you mean she has current power of attorney, meaning she can spend your money or sell your home without your knowledge? Or do you mean that she is the executor/executrix of your will, meaning she is in charge of your funeral, paying any outstanding bills and selling your assets?

Keep in mind that a power of attorney is in effect during your lifetime. The POA dies when you do. You need a power of attorney to be effective when you are no longer capable of handling your own personal business matters. Then the POA goes into effect.

POA is a very serious document. In the hands of the wrong person (someone who has their own best interests in mind,) rather than yours can be disastrous for you!!
 
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