Who is "The Perfect Person For You"?

fuzzybuddy

fuzzybuddy

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The Sticks, Northeast PA.
I saw an add for one of those online dating services. You know the one that just happens to have "The Perfect Person For You". I don't know about that. Doesn't the "perfect person" effect last about 18 mos., and then you're deeply in love (if your spouse can read this).
OR you're ( I don't want to use the word stuck but.....) not awed anymore by your spouse.
 

To quote Oscar Wilde, "A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her". However I did dearly love both my wives, so I can't speak from experience, at least not yet.

Also, I don't know if that works in reverse.
 
My husband is the perfect match for me, lover and best friend, married for 40 years and lived together a couple of years before that. I can't even imagine using an online dating site and describing what I think would be the perfect person for me, or trusting a website to find me a partner. Just like the olden days, if I had to, I'd bump into someone in person and take it from there. If we click, all is well. :)
 

Hoot N Annie said:
To quote Oscar Wilde, "A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her". However I did dearly love both my wives, so I can't speak from experience, at least not yet.

Also, I don't know if that works in reverse.
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So, I'm either dense or that saying is a "man thing". So if he loves her, he will be unhappy?
 
If the unthinkable happened and I tried a dating site...

You better be a free thinking liberal or let them drop a house on you...
A music nerd would be fun. David Johansen, Metal Machine Music, The Cockney Rebel, Ian Dury? Yep something to discuss.
Wanting to find a home for every fuzzy critter but knowing pit bulls are big scary lap dogs.

Bookish is good, but you know my hubby has probably never read a single book cover to cover. But he will let me prattle over my newest tome forever...yup that's love.
 
......the man, I know, I've never met before when I see him first time, and yet,I feel I've known him and have been waiting for him all my life. But I don't believe it can happen more than once in a lifetime....:)
 
I've heard that some of the "women" on those sites are Computer #12<a>9866, or even the hot to trot, #jj<b>2965.
I think the "perfect" thing doesn't last long. In the beginning, you might believe the other person is "perfect" for you. But after a while, the person becomes a person. When the "perfect" person is bitching about how you cooked the eggs, and you don't strangle each other, this might last.
 
I got a the only man who could put up with me for almost 60 years. He is easygoing, where I am not , I tend to be bossy, he only objects once in a while.
I am the very lucky woman who got him.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I've heard that some of the "women" on those sites are Computer #12<a>9866, or even the hot to trot, #jj<b>2965.
I think the "perfect" thing doesn't last long. In the beginning, you might believe the other person is "perfect" for you. But after a while, the person becomes a person. When the "perfect" person is bitching about how you cooked the eggs, and you don't strangle each other, this might last.
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We all wear masks you know, it shields our vulnerability. If you find someone you can trust and feel comfortable around, you can be yourself...complain about the eggs or whatever....it's communication, open and honest.
 
My hubby was Sonny Corleone for so many years. Then he became Alan Alda...I'm serious. If I had to look again I'd have Alan Alda or his female counter-part from the beginning. No histrionics or punched in walls.
 
Carla said:
We all wear masks you know, it shields our vulnerability. If you find someone you can trust and feel comfortable around, you can be yourself...complain about the eggs or whatever....it's communication, open and honest.
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I agree. I am a communicator, could never live with a man who wasn't. Sharing is paramount for this empath.
 
If you are talking about a forever live-in type relationship, a perfect person to me would be...

A man with integrity, who always tries to do the right thing, even it if hurts. This encompasses many good qualities.

I'll add these specifics: One with common sense and an open mind. One who is comfortable in his own skin, doesn't take himself too seriously, does not stereotype women, and therefore can carry on a conversation without being patronizing.

If there is something that you admire about a person, you can keep falling for them over and over again, if you want to.

Can't usually learn about these things on a few dates. It can take a long time. You have to see how he interacts with others, not just you.

Why I'll likely always be single. Don't think I'll ever settle, but who knows? ;)



Now we can all argue about what "the right thing" is. :playful:
 
Reading these replies gets me to thinking ~ making me nostalgic for Back-in-the-Day. Wishful daydreaming !

Curiously, when you say "Why I'll likely always be single. Don't think I'll ever settle, but who knows?" it makes me wonder. "Settling" would be finding a person with several of the redeeming qualities you desire ~ while foregoing the requirement of the rest.

Dating brought out the realization that some women possess the quality of a pleasant disposition yet no ability to cook or de-clutter. Some women are fantastic housekeepers and good to their pets while being downright offish to any social perception (Democrat /Republican - Baptist/ Lutheran etc. . .) but their own.

I can tell I've remained single all these years because I didn't "settle for some" of the qualities. . . . Hmmm . . . Perfect ? It's obvious it would take two women :) !
 
Funny that I've never really been single. Maybe I'd know myself better perhaps? But something important for me in a relationship is someone who "gets" you. Maybe they don't share exactly the same interests completely but just the coziness of say you go into a diner. You go to the restroom and your partner can order for you completely from memory. Or the nice surprises, before hubby got sick he would wake early some weekends. Before I got up he would have the kitchen cleaned, coffee brewing and a box of goodies from our favorite bakery waiting on the counter. The way to my heart is with a terrific danish:D
 
Rosemary said:
Probably because if you had the perfect man once, you'll always compare others to him and there is never any comparison...especially if through the years you've embellished on all the good memories...and have ignored or forgotten the few negatives that were always there. :)
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Neither of us was perfect, and our marriage became nearly perfect only after we stopped quarreling over trifles, hurting each other intentionally, and learned to respect each other's needs and interests.Tolerance, understanding, and of course, love were the basic things in our relationship, as we were so different in so many respects, apart from how we felt about each other. We did not talk much, but we both felt that only death can separate us, and after nearly 40 years death separated us.
 
My husband, my best friend even now as he is in late stage Alzheimers and no longer recognizes me the feeling is still there, we married at 16, it is impossible to let go, I still see him as I always did, I still cry every day as I miss him so, they broke the mold when they made him .
 
Jeannine said:
My husband, my best friend even now as he is in late stage Alzheimers and no longer recognizes me the feeling is still there, we married at 16, it is impossible to let go, I still see him as I always did, I still cry every day as I miss him so, they broke the mold when they made him .
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So poignant Jeannine. Hugs.
 
Thanks Shalimar, people keep telling me I will get over this and start a new life. I laugh at the idea.I don't want a new life, I want my old one back. I am grieving I know that and when he finally goes I will still be grieving but I have truly fantastic memories. We had a bond that doesn't come around very often how could I replace it. I know 4 women in my position and all 4 have new men in their life..I just don't get it, but I draw comfort from what we had and that seems to carry me through.
 

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