Who just wants to talk about their daily lives and concerns. No politics etc

I try to look back at my parents and grandparents to see how they navigated growing old. See if I can pull any wisdom from them. My folks lived 2-1/2 hours away and hid so much from me. Or was I so busy with my own life that I didn’t look very hard? I do remember my dad repeating that quote, “Growing old is not for wimps.”
 
Rossana said:
@officerripley In addition, there might be some online support groups that could help you, as you no longer drive. It could help you feeling less isolated.
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I've never found any online support groups for shut-ins like me but I use this one, Instagram and a couple of p0litical ones; they help a little. There's no perfect substitute for IRL friends though.
 
I understand the posts here I've been reading about being a caregiver, since I've been there myself when my wife developed ALS. The first few months, her needs were minimal, so we had time to adjust and learn how to cope with continual alterations to our lifestyle. In some ways, it drew us closer together.

I wish I had reassuring words of comfort, but I don't - - - except to say that you will find strength in yourself you didn't know you had. It will be a test of patience and avoiding saying harsh things when tired and frustrated, but do the best you can, so that one day you will be able to look back without regrets.
 
Babs2u said:
Last year several roofers stopped by trying to get my business. Then one said he thought he could get my insurance to pay for it. Well it worked and I got a new roof. Someone else might have an idea how that works.
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Our house in Illinois needed that to and my hubby said No he didn't want an estimate, it's scam. I told them to look it over. When they came
back to give me the estimate, he said I have added the siding too as you have quite a bit of hail damage but we can get the insurance
to pay for this, you just need to pay your deductible portion.
It was a 2 story house with 4 bedrooms, dbl car garage, family room and addon 18x20 sunroom. total amt due from us.. $500
I did not rub it in to hubby, yeah we got it done. We sold the house a year later and got full asking price.
 
No one can explain to you what it is like to face 74- or more. No one except those who are older than you are.
Which becomes an issue with cognitive understanding for those who might offer insight. Seems like we are in a mud pit of finding our way. I am 78. I have physical issue's, sight issues, etc. I have two jobs, working for an engineering firm and owning a gift store. I do okay, but all the issues become overwhelming at times. Age, memory all have a part in this. wake up and it takes me 15 minutes to walk. But then I walk my dog, go to the shop, get the receipts, empty the trash. Stop at Starbucks and then get back to my engineering job. That is my daily life. Right or wrong...that is my life. Not complaining, just trying to help others look at their own life.
I work because I need to stay busy, involved and useful. Retirement, to me, is a myth. My grandfather retired, got the new golf clubs, moved to Florida....He died, grand mom lived till 99+10 months . She didn't know where she was at the end and she ended up on food stamps because she exhausted their pension.
Better or worse what I say is out there. It is my life. You get the BS from everyone, but what, and who, you believe can sometimes be very confusing. There are no easy answers. Wish you all well.
bob
 
rbtvgo said:
No one can explain to you what it is like to face 74- or more. No one except those who are older than you are.
Which becomes an issue with cognitive understanding for those who might offer insight. Seems like we are in a mud pit of finding our way. I am 78. I have physical issue's, sight issues, etc. I have two jobs, working for an engineering firm and owning a gift store. I do okay, but all the issues become overwhelming at times. Age, memory all have a part in this. wake up and it takes me 15 minutes to walk. But then I walk my dog, go to the shop, get the receipts, empty the trash. Stop at Starbucks and then get back to my engineering job. That is my daily life. Right or wrong...that is my life. Not complaining, just trying to help others look at their own life.
I work because I need to stay busy, involved and useful. Retirement, to me, is a myth. My grandfather retired, got the new golf clubs, moved to Florida....He died, grand mom lived till 99+10 months . She didn't know where she was at the end and she ended up on food stamps because she exhausted their pension.
Better or worse what I say is out there. It is my life. You get the BS from everyone, but what, and who, you believe can sometimes be very confusing. There are no easy answers. Wish you all well.
bob
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Bob, your life sounds hectic and complicated. I'm sure your challenges may be beneficial for many, but would never do for me. For me: simplicity, solitude, routine, please.
I'm now going through the hassle of planning cataract surgery, but it should improve my life in future --what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, isn't that right? Really, it doesn't sound quite right to me.
 
Blessed said:
I am in Texas near to @seadoug, so I too am blessed that property tax have been frozen for us seniors. I had a person out to address a minor roof issue, $800. I am getting bids on trimming the trees. Taking out one large black walnut, removing most of the shrubs both front and back, trimming and thinning a very large oak and pecan.

First estimate is $4000.00 which I do not consider bad for all I want done. Figure it is best to get rid of what I can't maintain. Two more estimates tomorrow.

Had the roofer guy because I had water leaking in a hallway after a couple of rain storms. I determined the leak was from the AC so still have to deal with that. Went ahead with new flashing, sealing on the roof just in case. At least the guy said I have a stellar job on the roof last time it was replaced in 2017 after hail damage.

It is still cheaper for me to stay in a paid off home than sell for something smaller or apartment living. With property taxes, insurance, costs me about 600 a month. Yes, things come up that have to be done but when I spread out the expense over many years. I am still better off here than elsewhere.

I guess the one thing is finding a group of friends or neighbors that would help out when needed. Like help to doctors, before and after procedures, groceries, cooking etc. So many of us are alone and need help once in a while. It seems when we are young, so many friends and family, now that we are older, that circle diminished.
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About housing I wonder if anybody has rented in a low cost Senior housing? I may move to one asap.


Hello @Blessed I t is great seeing you again!
I like you ideas of sometimes necessary things to have done. Here in Ohio they have programs. One is called Passport.

I'm not sure of all they do but I'm going to find out more. Is there a Senior Center where you live? They often offer solutions to what you need. Social Workers also find resources for seniors.
 
retiredtraveler said:
DW and I are doing fine now (even with slowing down, being more tired, some aches and pains). We are concerned that we just don't know how long we will remain mobile, 'reasonably' healthy, and possess our cognition. To that end, we're looking to sell the house and go into an apartment making life easier.
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sounds like a good call to me - I'm a procrastinator so will tell you mine later!!
 
Ruthanne said:
About housing I wonder if anybody has rented in a low cost Senior housing? I may move to one asap.


Hello @Blessed I t is great seeing you again!
I like you ideas of sometimes necessary things to have done. Here in Ohio they have programs. One is called Passport.

I'm not sure of all they do but I'm going to find out more. Is there a Senior Center where you live? They often offer solutions to what you need. Social Workers also find resources for seniors.
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Yes, we do have a senior center. They offer a wide range of activities from exercise, dance, crafts, cards, dominos etc.. They also have lunch days for a small fee. There is also a pool where a membership is very low cost. I do not get out much but I used to take my Mom there.

I did get a couple of more estimates for all the tree work. Best price is around $3000.00. I also really like the young man that gave the estimate. That will leave some extra to have the AC problem addressed.
 
Rossana said:
@officerripley Have you had the chance to contact these people? Perhaps they could help you?
Resources for Caregivers | Alzheimer's Foundation of America
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Thanks, Rossana. I haven't contacted them yet. Huzz has an upcoming appointment in a couple of months to find out the results of his cognitive tests. (Around here, you can't get appointments any sooner than at least 2 months down the road.) I guess it's possible that instead of it being dementia, a change in his medications--he's on a lot--might help but I'm not going to get my hopes up. so thanks for the website; I'll probably need it.
 
gruntlabor said:
Bob, your life sounds hectic and complicated. I'm sure your challenges may be beneficial for many, but would never do for me. For me: simplicity, solitude, routine, please.
I'm now going through the hassle of planning cataract surgery, but it should improve my life in future --what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, isn't that right? Really, it doesn't sound quite right to me.
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I understand, I think.............Sounds to me....and I could be wrong, that you have accepted who you are and what your remaining life has to offer. Fight to the end is my motive which is just my way, not yours.
All that aside it gets down to just making your life better. Better vision might just be the ticket to making life. just a bit more interesting. Nothing to lose. Everything to gain. No....it won't stop the clock but it will make life more interesting.
Just my thoughts
 
rbtvgo said:
I understand, I think.............Sounds to me....and I could be wrong, that you have accepted who you are and what your remaining life has to offer. Fight to the end is my motive which is just my way, not yours.
All that aside it gets down to just making your life better. Better vision might just be the ticket to making life. just a bit more interesting. Nothing to lose. Everything to gain. No....it won't stop the clock but it will make life more interesting.
Just my thoughts
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:) No, fight to the end is my motive too. It's good for us to stay busy and focused.
But, actually, re cataracts removal, there is something to lose. Their removal is dangerous and miserable enough but the anesthetics involved can cause or worsen dementia in the elderly. So I'll be uptight until it's over and I've retained my remaining three brain cells.
 
The problem with Dementia is that you have to be proactive to get treatments that can help but that is difficult because you have Dementia. A certain % will go into denial and refuse treatments. A certain % will not respond to treatment. The most important thing is to try. I have a friend going down this route and he will turn down anything that might help him.
 
I slept in today. In fact, I just woke up a while ago. It’s the medication that I’m on that does it. I used to get up around 5 or 6 o’clock but now I still wake up at that time but I fall asleep in my lazy boy chair. It’s so comfortable. Now I’ll get up and go for our walk. It’s a sunny day today and 3 degrees ..We will probably go to the provincial park to walk. Anyway I need to get up and shower.
 
I feel a great deal of resentment whenever I watch a movie about people and their relationships with their parents.

We watched A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood last night, which was about a man whose father is dying and he makes amends with him before he goes. I never had any kind of bond with my parents.
 
RambleTamble said:
I feel a great deal of resentment whenever I watch a movie about people and their relationships with their parents.

We watched A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood last night, which was about a man whose father is dying and he makes amends with him before he goes. I never had any kind of bond with my parents.
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Yeah, it can be really frustating. People that didn't know thought my mother was such a nice person but I don't think she ever wanted to have kids; didn't love my brothers or me but did care about my sister (or maybe was just afraid of her). Everybody did know my father was a jerk, though. I still wish she could've had a mother; the older I get, the sadder it makes me; having a good, loving parent (especially a mother) seems like a total fairy tale.
 
Babs2u said:
Occasionally I have a good day and there is some hope. I hesitate to mention it because I'm afraid I will jinx it as has happened in the past.
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Don't be superstitious Babs, life is full of unexpected twists, often described as a boxing match where you take hits to vulnerable areas of your life. Rolling with the punches means accepting those unpredictable, sometimes painful, circumstances and navigating them without letting them break you.
 
gruntlabor said:
:) No, fight to the end is my motive too. It's good for us to stay busy and focused.
But, actually, re cataracts removal, there is something to lose. Their removal is dangerous and miserable enough but the anesthetics involved can cause or worsen dementia in the elderly. So I'll be uptight until it's over and I've retained my remaining three brain cells.
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I had my eyes done six months apart so if something bad happened to one eye I wouldn’t have had the other one done. They try and pressure you into having them done a week apart, but I refused. I know that general sedation can be dangerous if you’re older, but you are very lightly sedated for cataract surgery so I don’t think there’s any danger to your brain for that.
 
Everyone looks so forward to spring. It just wears me out, physically, emotionally and financially.

Had a roof repair a week ago. Yard man comes tomorrow for the first mow and edge of the season. Grass so high I keep losing my small dog out in the jungle.

Signed a contract this afternoon to have all the trees trimmed, one huge one in the back to be cutdown. All the shrubs in the front, nine of them to be removed. All stumps to be ground down.

IN the back yard all the trash shrubs to be cut and removed as much as possible. I don't even know what they are, I have just been cutting them for 30 years. Some are likely to grow back as they are kind of wrapped into a chain link fence on one side. The rest of the yard is a six foot wood fence but still has trash growth that comes from all the trees dropping things that then grow.

I don't know if it will work but may try to put some stuff on the cut stubs to see if they will please, please die!! I have sprayed with plant killer and it never works.

Still yet to schedule the HVAC guy to fix whatever is leaking in the attic. I have a pump thing and I think it has gone out. It has never leaked in the ceiling only into the floor under the unit. It has lasted a good 15 years so probably needs to be replaced.

I have got one dog half groomed, the terrier. The big dog, chow will be a hand full. He is good, doesn't fuss, there is just so much of him. I have swept up the house of fur. I bought one of those little robovacs. I will get that set up and if it helps keeping the mess up.

Nope, not the last, freezer in the laundry room went out! Cleaned that out, most everything lost. Not too bad, there were not expensive cuts in there. Still, it is aggravating, will need to shop for a new one, may even try to find a used one.
 
gruntlabor said:
:) No, fight to the end is my motive too. It's good for us to stay busy and focused.
But, actually, re cataracts removal, there is something to lose. Their removal is dangerous and miserable enough but the anesthetics involved can cause or worsen dementia in the elderly. So I'll be uptight until it's over and I've retained my remaining three brain cells.
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I am facing the same problem as you. I am 78 and I have condition in my left eye that requires a shot every 6 weeks or so. I have cateracts in both eyes so my world is perpetually blurry. I need to drive and take care of affairs so I need my vision. Like you I do not want surgery but I want to see and drive. I think for you it is a matter of what you want and how bad you want it. In other words..........to be blunt, ( you either want to see the world as you use to or..........not).
Any surgery, at our age is a big question mark. We don't recover or heal as fast. Never the less it is a matter of what you want. I don't want to stop, relax and watch news for 24 hours. I want to do what I do, the best that I can , until the Lord says I am bringing you home.
I think I understand where you are coming from and I am saying, to you................................that it ain't over till it's over. Get your eyes fixed!
take care and my best wishes
bob
 
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