why am I the one that suffers when I don't like people

[Redd]

Denise, I think all of us here can relate and feel your pain. While the rough patches are difficult to get through, we DO somehow get through them.

For me thinking about Sinatra's song "Cycles" helps during those times.

I too tried the church. While there are good people in there, people can't change how you feel. You have to change your feelings yourself. And you will get there, it just takes time.

 

[Denise1952]

Hi Redd,

Thanks much, and I know you are right denise

PS I'm sure I've heard that song before, maybe I'll look it up on youtube and listen to "ole blue-eyes"

 

[Ruthanne]

I just wanna say that I don't think it's fare some folks can eat so many goodies, and I can't get away with it. But there's the "not everyone is alike" again, lol I think I AM those same things at heart though, I know I "think" a lot of things I'd like to do. Some people would say "thank god denise doesn't do everything she thinks of"

Ya know, I was thinking about my brother's wife and how she always has small portions and so do all of his family. They do it because they will put on weight if they don't. And I had been eating all I want for a long time and now am about 50 or 60 pounds overweight. I don't think that there are that many people who can eat anything they want all the time and not gain weight. I have been to a mental health forum that has eating disorders as a forum as one of many and it's very hard for a lot of people to lose weight and I am one of them, too. Sorry to go off on a rant but it was just something I've been thinking about. I hope you are feeling better. hugs to you.

 

[Butterfly]

Thanks for this Georgia, funny, but I have been searching for a little dog, and I think it would be really good. I wouldn't have to talk to "just" myself around here. I also want someone to walk with, and a dog would be a good, walking-buddy

You were right about it all, just thanks for sharing it. Seems like you get through one struggle and then there's another waiting. But I am being too negative, so I will take both you gals advice on that. I've taken to just watching comedies on tv (Roku actually, no cable) but I get The Golden Girls dvds too. I read a lot, and all fun stuff. It's good just to get your replies, I'm glad I said something, denise



Oh, I know I have hurt people Warri, I think people let people down, hurt eachother, not a perfect world.

No, I am not liking this wallowing thing, yuck I was telling Georgia I want to get a pup, but then I kind of worry I might depress the dog, lol!! I don't yell, scream or throw things though, I suffer silently, LOL!! Thanks for replying Warri, I was reading your thread on the religion thing, it's a great thread denise

Do get a dog. There area so many languishing in shelters and you'd be saving the life of that doggie. Get an older adult dog -- those have little chance of being adopted and make wonderful pets -- they're past the chewing, nutso stage in their lives and just need someone to love. It's hard to be negative when a dog is looking up at you adoringly or giving you little kisses. I have a great big dog, Bonnie, an AmStaff cross I adopted last year at age about 7. She didn't have a very nice early life and now that she's a pampered, loved house dog she is the most wonderful girl. She thinks I'm swell no matter how lousy a day I've had. And when I see that wagging tail and wiggly butt and her happiness to see me, my day gets a whole lot better. And when I see this once mistreated girl laying upside down on the couch in pure contentment, it gives me great joy that we help each other.

 

[Denise1952]

Ya know, I was thinking about my brother's wife and how she always has small portions and so do all of his family. They do it because they will put on weight if they don't. And I had been eating all I want for a long time and now am about 50 or 60 pounds overweight. I don't think that there are that many people who can eat anything they want all the time and not gain weight. I have been to a mental health forum that has eating disorders as a forum as one of many and it's very hard for a lot of people to lose weight and I am one of them, too. Sorry to go off on a rant but it was just something I've been thinking about. I hope you are feeling better. hugs to you.

Not ranting as far as I'm concerned. I appreciate you sharing. It is hard to do "all the right stuff", well, I should say impossible. And nowadays, it's hard to even know what is the "right" stuff. Seems everything causes cancer, or whatever. I think it's all about what works for us, or what doesn't Ruthanne. It's taking me a lifetime to figure out things that help, and things that don't. Oh well, guess I can hardly get bored hugs, denise

 

[Denise1952]

Do get a dog. There area so many languishing in shelters and you'd be saving the life of that doggie. Get an older adult dog -- those have little chance of being adopted and make wonderful pets -- they're past the chewing, nutso stage in their lives and just need someone to love. It's hard to be negative when a dog is looking up at you adoringly or giving you little kisses. I have a great big dog, Bonnie, an AmStaff cross I adopted last year at age about 7. She didn't have a very nice early life and now that she's a pampered, loved house dog she is the most wonderful girl. She thinks I'm swell no matter how lousy a day I've had. And when I see that wagging tail and wiggly butt and her happiness to see me, my day gets a whole lot better. And when I see this once mistreated girl laying upside down on the couch in pure contentment, it gives me great joy that we help each other.

Can't remember where I typed it, or even if I did, but yesterday before the party I went to, I talked to my SAR friend Ginny. She does search and rescue. Anyway, I told her I wanted an older dog, I kind of laughed and said one close to my own age I told her my reasons were because they don't get adopted sometimes, and much less chance for them than young dogs I told her I read a story, and also saw a video on a guy that was so lost when his dog died. He realized he needed to adopt a dog, and give it a good home. And he decided on an older dog for the reasons I mentioned above. It was a heart-wrenching story, but wonderful at the same time.

Yes, I will be adopting, and he/she will be an older dog Butterfly I can hardly wait, but I know Ginny is watching for me, and I have some sites to check each day as well Your dog sounds wonderful, and there is nothing like the love of a dog, nothing imo. I am so happy you and she have eachother. Thanks for telling me your story.

 

[Ruthanne]

Sorry if I sounded preachy with my last post. I didn't mean to. I just had been thinking of my sister n law. I know there are a lot of things to watch when we eat.

 

[Denise1952]

Hi Denise, I had a particularly bad day yesterday and listening to some of these helped, plus talking to others:

OMGOSH, I love this, I am putting in on my TV (through my Roku) to listen now while I am getting ready Ruthanne, thank you SO much!! denise

 

[Denise1952]

Sorry if I sounded preachy with my last post. I didn't mean to. I just had been thinking of my sister n law. I know there are a lot of things to watch when we eat.

You are a nice person, I can tell that easily Ruthanne. I am glad you posted to my topic, I am happy to meet you, and don't think we had before, but I know there are nice women I already know, and lots to meet as well. I am very happy you are here denise

PS I am so nuts about these videos from youtube, the one I have on now is similar to yours, but couldn't find the exact one on my Roku There are so many to choose from too, and they have to perfect types of music (piano is my fave, and wouldn't mind finding some violin as well) The rain sounds I so love, this is wonderful. You are helping me get through yet another day!! I love the other replies too, I just don't have to be alone, it's my choice if I decide that, but that particular choice stinks hugs again, denise

 

[Ina]

Hi Denise, yeah I'm still around, but I mostly just check in to see how everyone is doing. You my friend are doing great. You've fought long and hard to get on you feet, and sometimes a person that has had to gear themself to fight a long hard battle find it hard to gear down. You just need time.

It's sort of like when you have to pull a double shift, and your tired, but for the life of you, you can't slow down for awhile.

You just wait till you get your own furbaby. It's hard to be sad or depressed around a dog, and don't even think of tears when your pup is there. I have saved a ton of money on face washing products, and if I don't come out of my doldrums Izzy will bounce around and bring me every toy he has until I have to laugh whether I'm ready to or not. On days that I wonder why I should even wake up, I do because who else will care for my little Izzy. He is my responsibility, and I'll drag myself up every morning just to take care of him. Little dogs don't eat much, and the cost is repaid ten fold. :wave:

 

[GeorgiaXplant]

So, Denise...feeling better today knowing there are all these people interacting with you and each other and imparting words of wisdom? Yanno, even though we each have to find our own way, it helps when we realize that we aren't really alone, that there are others who have the same kinds of problems, can relate to yours and share what worked for them (or what didn't!).

Remember the lead-up to a big holiday or to some event that you were really looking forward to? The day or event finally arrived, happened, then it was all over with, and the let-down set it. Good memories, but darn it all, over with!

Kind of what happened here, I think. It took forfreakingever, some false alarms, lots of paperwork, red tape and at last you have what you really wanted more than anything: a home.

You gathered up bits and pieces here and there, furnished it, put your own homey touches on it, and...now what? LOL

Can't wait until you get your new-to-you dog. Have you already chosen names for him/her or are you going to wait until you meet? Are you going to let us help you choose a name?

 

[maplebeez]

Denise, you have the right to dislike people & venting your feelings here, is good for you. In my case it's my sister's BFF. I find this woman totally disgusting. Here are some choice examples. After hearing about my diagnosis of tinnitus, from my sister, that b***h posted my medical information on her Facebook page. When she isn't correcting me, or totally ignoring me, she plays the "poor little me" card & tags-along to our family events.....then makes the most horrid comments about their poor taste in decorating & their home's lack of style. Accepts invitations to friend's weddings, baby showers,graduations, anniversaries (living in a small town, this happens frequently) then insists we do "group gifts" $10 per person....so tacky! Shows up unexpectedly at my home (looking for my sister) asks me what I'm cooking, then tells me, "that's not how you make it." Once I sent in a deposit for a group hotel reservation,......after looking at the place online, she decided that hotel wasn't up to her standards, cancelled that reservation (we lost that deposit) & made a reservation at a more expensive place. Then she kept insisting it would be fun if six of us shared one hotel room. As my aunt used to say....life's too short to be around people who make you uncomfortable.....so find people, places & things you like to do & do them. Or in the words of Billy Joel....."Go ahead with your own life and leave me alone!"

 

[tnthomas]

No, Denise, it isn't a perfect world and people do hurt each other. That's why forgiveness is a virtue. We need to forgive ourselves too. Often we forgive everyone else and continue to beat ourselves up for our own minor transgressions. Don't feel bad. I'm pretty sure you haven't caused too much emotional hurt on Seniors.

I think that on some level forgiving oneself is the hardest thing to do.

Denise, sometimes it is good to distance yourself from the world's woes, especially if you are a sensitive person. It can drive you crazy. Good things do happen, many people are wonderful, the media just under reports it. I ration myself as to how muchnews I watch, otherwise I become depressed. Same thing applies to negative people. We don't all need to agree, but being cruel to each other is toxic. Most people lash out from a place of pain. I get that, I am compassionate, but hey, I have feelings too.

Just after terminating a grueling months long medical treatment- I had a 'crash' and my emotions were a mess, so I went to the doctor for help. He prescribed an anti-anxiety med...helped trementiously. We were talking- he said that for reasons he didn't understand, there's been a huge increase in people suffering from anxiety and depression.
My personal view is that a contributing factor IS the media, the news and the way its reported...also Social Media- IMO a enormous contributing factor there.

 

[Cookie]

I find when I dislike someone, they probably know it and will likewise be not so keen on me either. That's life, and unless I have to work with them at my job, I do have the option to avoid people who get on my nerves, difficult family members included. Sometimes I try to fix the relationship, somehow thinking there might be something I can do to make it better, but it never works. Yes, it is best to go your own way.

 

[Butterfly]

I think that on some level forgiving oneself is the hardest thing to do.




Just after terminating a grueling months long medical treatment- I had a 'crash' and my emotions were a mess, so I went to the doctor for help. He prescribed an anti-anxiety med...helped trementiously. We were talking- he said that for reasons he didn't understand, there's been a huge increase in people suffering from anxiety and depression.
My personal view is that a contributing factor IS the media, the news and the way its reported...also Social Media- IMO a enormous contributing factor there.

I agree, tnthomas! The news is enough to depress anyone! I don't do FaceBook -- many people I know become quite obsessed with it and are constantly upset by what someone says. I don't need that in my life.

 

[Butterfly]

Hey, Denise -- did you know that most rescues post their available doggies on their websites? You can see their pictures and read their stories. Just google the name of the website, or "adopt a dog in" name of city or town. Don't wait for the "perfect dog," because sometimes the dog you think you want isn't the dog you really need or the dog that is perfect for you. I went to the shelter looking for a lab cross, and ran across my Bonnie just going out the door for a walk with a volunteer, and she's the perfect doggie for me. She's an American Staffordshire terriier and is just wonderful. I didn't even look at the other doggies -- it was love at first sight. You'll make a great dog mom, and will give one very lucky doggie a good loving home, and save his/her life and enrich your own!