Why don't they tell us???

[Colleen]

I don't know about your state, but Florida issues two kinds of death certificates: one with the cause of death and one without.

Different businesses may require one or the other. The life insurance company HAD to have one with the cause of death. The bank would not accept one WITH the cause of death. It had something to do with privacy. I had to make sure I sent the correct one or we'd be going around and around until I got it straight. Some places will accept a copy of the death cert; some have to have an original. Some will return the original to you; some won't.

So I got a bunch of both. If the gentleman at the crematorium hadn't told me about the different requirements, I wouldn't have known. He ordered them for me. I still had to pay for them but at least that was one more thing I didn't have to do.

The funeral home handles my life insurance policies so I didn't have to deal with that. I received the checks last week and I went to our bank on Monday (6th) and opened a checking account for myself.

When I went to the SS office on Monday also, I took our marriage certificate along with other things and when she asked me where I wanted my check to be deposited, I gave her the routing# and account # I had just set up with the bank.

The funeral home "gave me" 6 death certificates but I've only had to use 2. Our state has cause of death on them.

 

[Colleen]

I keep a manilla folder marked "Important - When I die'.
I point it out to my kids all the time.
I tell them, "when I die, pick up this folder and go through it page by page."

Great idea. I think I'll do that, too

 

[Colleen]

... in the moment it is a very difficult situation, to do things, who to contact first, and how to get all the right answers, all this while you are in a 'fog'.

It's been over 10 ears for me, and I don't remember all the details. It took a long month of calling, going places and sending/receiving documents.
I do remember having an issue with getting the death certificate signed by my husband's doctor. .. papers lost in the mail, and issues like that.

Social Security office was very helpful with moving things along when I visited their office. They told me beforehand what to bring when I came in ... things like our marriage certificate. They were able to switch me to my husband's SS account immediately.

On Monday, I went to the bank to set up my own checking account because I had received the life insurance checks. Then, I went to SS office and when she asked me where I wanted my check deposited, I gave her the routing and account # the bank had given me. I have a conference call set up for the 16th with SS and they said they will be confirming the bank information.

I think one of the things in the list from the link was to cancel your deceased's drivers license. I went to the DMV this morning with his DL and the gal told me I didn't need to do that. She said I could just keep it and it would expire. I had even Googled requirements for PA and it said it had to be cancelled. I'm glad I'm getting to the end. I'm tired of carrying around death certificates...know what I mean??

 

[officerripley]

They told us at the funeral home to get a lot of death certificates as they are cheaper to order then than after death.

This is so true and can't be pointed out enough. In fact, I've always heard that no matter how enormous the amount of death certificates you order, you'll always need at least one more.

 

[Colleen]

Colleen- I know it is a LOT to go through.
I had an odd situation recently and thought I should mention it here today.There are other widows and widowers in this forum who might have had this upsetting experience.

Someone who I barely know shared with me that she is in severe debt and needs a lot of help ASAP.
She said she had no friends and will not tell her only relative. She said I am the only person who knows her problem.
She does make good money. She only knows me as a customer of a car dealership, who I go to for inspection and service
needs.

People can come 'out of the woodwork' looking for money when a spouse dies and you certainly sound TOO smart to deal with people like that , but sometimes it is people we know well- yet still I wonder how they get the nerve to ask a widow for money.

I had to call where she works last week to make an appointment for a small car problem I have. She spent a lot of time on the phone telling me this awful story about how critical her financial situation is. I have been dealing with this company for 2 decades, and she is the manager of their service department, but my appointment is today and I dread going to it. I certainly told her I will pray for her and I asked a minister friend of mine to pray for her too, but I know there is more to her situation and I will not offer her any cash.

My church helps those in need ,who belong to our church and also sometimes there is a need in my community, from non members and we all help them as much as we can.....but widows and certainly widowers too, have to really be careful of people who think they can manipulate us, to benefit themselves.

Stuff like this happened to me when I was newly widowed long ago ,and I know others still in grief, that it has happened to.

Someone even called me few days after, my husband died for some money. This was a former neighbor who had gotten a letter about my husband's life insurance by mistake , years before he died.

When I said I have no money to give to her, she said what about his life insurance policy, and reminded me she got the letter by mistake. I had not even thought about his life insurance policy. There seemed to be so many other things I Had to Do.

I used to do a radio show for disabled veterans and our "End of Life" shows were always popular because most disabled veterans certainly have concerns about what VA benefits their survivors might be entitled too.

I will certainly read over OneEyeDiva' s check lists because I know they might help many here.

People are disgusting! I almost had a situation that I could have lost at least $450. I had an item listed on Marketplace right after David passed away and a gal contacted me right away. She said PayPal had to set up the transaction as a business so she would have to pay an additional $450 for the transaction to go through and then I'd have to pay her back the $450. She kept saying...you're not going to cheat me, are you? I even got an email from Paypal that explained why this had to be done. I recognized the email address as phony and I knew this was definitely a scam. I sent Paypal the email.

I removed my item for sale and told that gal to not contact me again because I knew it was a scam. Can you believe people???

 

[JustBonee]

I think one of the things in the list from the link was to cancel your deceased's drivers license. I went to the DMV this morning with his DL and the gal told me I didn't need to do that. She said I could just keep it and it would expire. I had even Googled requirements for PA and it said it had to be cancelled. I'm glad I'm getting to the end. I'm tired of carrying around death certificates...know what I mean??

Didn't think of that .... I never cancelled my husband's DL .... it still sits in a folder with all his other wallet contents - over 10 years later.

Maybe some of the junk mail that comes in his name, once in a while, has something to do with that ... ??

 

[fancicoffee13]

Thanks for the suggestion, however, I've been taking care of our finances, moving, doctor's appts., etc. for 26 years so getting all these changes done is not really anything new...it's just a different set of circumstances to deal with. I'm getting to the end of notifying everyone and I'm not as fog-brained as I was so days are getting easier.

Glad to hear it is getting better. And it will continue to do just that. So, keep on keeping on, as they say.

 

[fancicoffee13]

People are disgusting! I almost had a situation that I could have lost at least $450. I had an item listed on Marketplace right after David passed away and a gal contacted me right away. She said PayPal had to set up the transaction as a business so she would have to pay an additional $450 for the transaction to go through and then I'd have to pay her back the $450. She kept saying...you're not going to cheat me, are you? I even got an email from Paypal that explained why this had to be done. I recognized the email address as phony and I knew this was definitely a scam. I sent Paypal the email.

I removed my item for sale and told that gal to not contact me again because I knew it was a scam. Can you believe people???

Unbelieveable for sure! I am so very glad you recognized her scam! You are very good and alert! I also got a wallet RFID, to keep scammers from reading through my purse/wallet and stealing my money unbeknownst to me! Awful mean these so called people!

 

[Paco Dennis]

Your just a number to be used to get as much money from you as possible. They don't really care about you. They go by a script in their head. It could even sound like caring. AI voices are getting better at responding in a politically correct way. Tones and language that will beguile you. You still will be alive only to feed the "Matrix"!