Why I Dislike Christmas

GoodEnuff said:
It's the gift giving. They have everything they need, can afford to get anything they want. I have asked to not do gift exchanges but it continues. Argh!
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I hear you. Fortunately my wife and me have left no family or relatives which deserve gifts. Thus no exchange at all. Not even between my wife and me, since we don't celebrate Christmas.
 

GoodEnuff said:
It's the gift giving. They have everything they need, can afford to get anything they want. I have asked to not do gift exchanges but it continues. Argh!
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Since your family feels that you need to be included, even against your wishes, depending on the age of the person, you could either buy a good bottle of wine and some cheese, not the shredded cheese, it’s on recall.

or go to the chocolate shop in your town or the nearby town and buy a box of chocolates. Everybody loves chocolates unless they’re diabetic and can’t eat them, then buy peppermint bark. I have yet to live anywhere that there wasn’t a gift shop nearby, full of homemade chocolate and peppermint bark.

One of two things will happen: You will either be the hit of the gift exchange or they won’t include you next year🤠🤠
 
We used to exchange gifts ( hubs and I ) and buy for grand kids …. I opened bank accounts for the kids ….
don’t buy for adults ….in fact Christmas is no big deal to us ….our area gets overflowing with tourists making it hard to get items in the food shops , parking is a nightmare …

During covid lockdown I stated putting gold coins in a big peanut paste jar for hubs and i to share at Christmas
Last year we both had $275 each to buy want we wanted , we haven’t counted our christmas jar yet ….but my share will go towards getting a new iPad as this one keeps freezing
 
We stopped giving gifts years ago. It’s such a relief. We send cards and I make Christmas cookies. The cookies are Gingerbreads and take a long time to make. They also cost about $25 to send each tin and we have 6 tins to send. Having said all that , I enjoy making cookies for my extended family. It’s a labour of love. Our entire house smells like gingerbreads and Christmas tree and sounds amazing ;like Christmas Carols !!
What’s not to like?IMG_3524.jpeg

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Finding appropriate gifts is stressful. In my small family we decided to give each other inexpensive useful gifts, like items from the pharmacy or hardware store. I like the decorations at this festive time of year and enjoyed going to our country church on Christmas eve when my husband was living and our sons were young.
I think home made gifts are lovely and if I get one I do appreciate it because it is the thought that counts.
🎄
 
As a postscript I want to say I actually like the Christmas holiday, all the lights and displays are beautiful, and where I live there's usually snow on the ground which adds to the beauty of the season. And there's always cookies, I love me some Christmas cookies!

It's the commercialism I dislike.
 
I always loved Christmas.
With two grandchildren it was great.
Now they are age 35 and 30
Daughter is 65 but still very much in their world.

We have not had a family get together in 5 years.
They have other lives now.

Seems to me and other friends have agreed that at this age in life, we are still parents and grandparents , but really no longer a part of the family for times of celebration and other areas of a family life.

My two sisters now in their 80's, one in UK the other in US have the same feeling.
 
I don't dislike Christmas. In fact, I love it!

DH & I throw a few big parties from mid to end December. Our kids and grands come to all, so the whole family gets to see old friends, many of whom none of us have seen since one of our Christmas parties the previous year. Some guests adjust travel plans so they're sure to be in town to join in. We eat pizza and cookies, drink (but nobody to excess) decorate cookies, laugh, catch-up and have a rollicking good time. All combined, including repeats, we'll host over 120 at various parties.

Gifts? I mail out 35 boxes of cookies each year, and all party guests leave with a big box of cookies that DH & I prepack.

Christmas Eve is at our house with our entire family and a few close friends - usually about 20, all told. There's a stealing wrapped grab bag that night. $15-ish for consumables. Can be regional food, candy, liquor, birdseed, etc. As long as it's something that'll get used up, it's eligible. Always a hoot.

Early Christmas morning we go to DD's house. We watch them open their gifts and exchange small gifts with them.

Christmas afternoon/evening is back at our house. Just us, all our kids and grands, and a couple of close family friends. The 4 grands (niece and nephews) get gifts from everyone. Adults don't exchange other than DH & I giving everyone a nice check and several traditional gifts I pull together each year.

That afternoon everyone opens from our secret Santas - this year's theme: Silly (or not so silly) slippers. Approx $15.

After dinner and shortly before calling it a night, we have the final gift exchange. A stealing grab bag. This year's theme is fidgets. Most of us are ADD/ADHD so we enjoy and use fidgety gadgets are. $10-$15.

The holidays are expensive, chaotic (in a delightful way) and a lot of work for DH & me, won't pretend otherwise. But these are labors of love and the funds come from being semi rather than fully retired. This big annual splurge reminds a couple of hundred people that they're remembered, loved and important to us.

I can't imagine a better way to celebrate the season of joy and love.
 
Mizmo said:
I always loved Christmas.
With two grandchildren it was great.
Now they are age 35 and 30
Daughter is 65 but still very much in their world.

We have not had a family get together in 5 years.
They have other lives now.

Seems to me and other friends have agreed that at this age in life, we are still parents and grandparents , but really no longer a part of the family for times of celebration and other areas of a family life.

My two sisters now in their 80's, one in UK the other in US have the same feeling.
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I was chatting to a friend yesterday who’s coming 94 she’s still active ….widowed about 8 years ago ..got 5 kids
she’s alone at Christmas everyone’s busy ….cant be bothered picking her up for lunch ….but believe me they will be there putting their hands out ….for their share of her …million $$$ . home when she dies @Mizmo


We have a hour or two chat once a month ….shes actually a very distant relative …my grandfathers ….sisters daughter ….
 
I like Christmas but I just do low key version - I buy presents for the grand kids and give my adult kids money and enjoy getting together

I do think Christmas starts too early - people and stores are putting up decorations etc from mid November and I think that creates 'christmas fatigue' before we even get to the actual day.
 
I'm enjoying Christmas a great deal this year. I've always enjoyed the music and decorations. In my youth we always had big family dinners with lots of relatives. Now, my own dynasty is getting big enough that our gatherings are beginning to have the same feel (or is that vibe)?

I'm not really a believer but I enjoy spending Christmas Eve at a conservative Lutheran Synod church where they play the wonderful old music and the service is traditional.

My Grandcritters are now starting families so once again we have babies and youngins to enjoy.
 
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I'm now the matriarch of a 4 generation family. I don't want any presents myself and I won't be giving any. I prefer to give random gifts throughout the year according to circumstances. For example, if a baby is on the way I take the mother-to-be shopping for clothes, particularly underwear, because I know how it feels to have ill fitting clothes during pregnancy. Every so often, but not every year, I give my children a substantial gift of money that I call a family dividend. They can do what they like with the money but I suggest that it might be a good idea to use it to pay down the mortgage.

I do not buy Christmas or birthday presents for the great grandchildren because they have so many relatives and so many toys, books and clothes that they do not need me to fill in any gaps. Instead I deposit some money into their bank accounts so that their mother can decide how to spend it or leave it accumulate for some future need.

However, I'm not a killjoy at Christmas. On Dec 26th the family all gathers at my house for a very informal celebration. They love being together for what has become a Christmas tradition. At the height of Summer my back garden is ideal for a party. The garden looks lovely, there is ample shade, everyone is relaxed and happy, and informality and silliness are the order of the day. They bring musical instruments and board games, the young children cool off under the sprinkler and we all play a very silly game known as stealing Santa.

I look forward each year to this special family day and I want nothing else for Christmas.
 
Christmas with just the two of us is not that stressful. My wife has expensive tastes in fragrances, she always gets two of her favourites. Giving money as a Christmas gift, so others have told me, is vulgar and lazy. To the best of my knowledge I have never heard of anyone giving it back because they feel insulted.
My lady gets a cash gift in a oversized Christmas card. It's accompanied with a love letter and my wish to see whatever she treats herself to. Throughout our marriage we have never given something to one another that will sit collecting dust until a decent time has lapsed before it goes to the charity shop.
Her gift to me will almost definitely come off her sewing machine, I might even let you have a peek.
 
I enjoy Christmas but it has evolved from a hectic family holiday to more of a quiet day of reflection and remembrance for me.

I used to have a long gift list but was gradually squeezed out of exchanging gifts by other members of the family that placed rules and structure around gift giving.

Being single, those well meaning rules changed me from being a willing participant to largely being a spectator.

It hurt in the beginning but I gradually adapted to what has become my new normal.
 
Christmas has always been a sad time for me ever since my mom passed away back in the 70's. I always equated Christmas with her. It got to where I'd volunteer to work on Christmas so others could enjoy it with their families, and it would keep my mind off the holiday. One year, I thought I'd snap out of it and do something useful by working in a soup kitchen. That depressed me even more seeing some of these destitute people coming for what might be their only warm meal for the day. I left there in tears.

Having said that, to me Christmas is any day of the year that you can help someone in need and not necessarily materialistically.

When I met my husband, he was a big holiday person. He bought himself a Christmas gift every year before meeting me. I guess that assured him he would get something. (he like me had no immediate family). When we married, I tried not to be a grinch and ruin his childhood memories. I would try and buy him a gift or two, but how do you buy someone something who has everything? I didn't do a good job, but he was always appreciative and thanked me.

Now that my husband's gone, I'm back to square one. I try not to ruin anybody's holiday and put up a front to hide my true feelings.
 
After I accepted Islam, I no longer had to worry about that stuff. Christmas has become too commercialized. My husband and I went to my (half) sister's house for years after she and I found each other. Finally I decided to stop going. She wasn't happy about it but I told here we would come for New Years dinners.

The last time I went for Christmas, my husband was out of town and all the gift giving around me made me feel uncomfortable. It's not that they expected me to participate because they didn't; they respected our religious beliefs. It's too bad your wishes are being ignored GoodEnuff.
 
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I'm alone on Christmas. I'm single, everyone in my birth family is dead (save for me), and the only Christmas celebration I have
are the two Christmas Eve services at church, when I volunteer as an usher so the usual December team have the option of being
with their families.
I'm OK with all of that.
 

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