Why is my child so bright when I'm so stupid?

Keesha

🌺
Cant we have both, (or I have both, as I like dogs plenty!)? 🐕🤼‍♀️☃.
I’m glad you didn’t take my post seriously, except the child really IS adorable. Yes you definitely CAN have both and I bet those two together can be like a place in heaven at times.
👶 ❤ 🐶
 

Education and teaching methods have changed since we were in school. I think that gives each new generation an advantage over the previous generation.
It might give them an edge- but it's not worth it. There's too much emphasis on academic education in the early years, at the expense of "childhood."
 

grahamg

Senior Member
Original Poster
I’m glad you didn’t take my post seriously, except the child really IS adorable. Yes you definitely CAN have both and I bet those two together can be like a place in heaven at times.
👶 ❤ 🐶
My daughter didn't like dogs strangely enough, (her mother's influence again!!! :mad: ).
You wont believe what that sweet innocent looking girl's had to say about all the dogs in the world, (so I wont tell you, but think really extreme scenario! :unsure:).
 

peppermint

Senior Member
Location
East Coast
I know my kids took after my husband....They got his 'Smarts".... I'm the talker and the savior.. for my kids...They can't do no wrong....HaHa...
Anyway....we have a girl and a boy...They are both married with their kids....When they were young they would go to my husband to ask him
to help them with their subject they had from school....I have to say, my husband is smart.....He only graduated High School....No College...
His parents didn't have the money....So Hubby did it all by himself....We were married at 20 years old....
Hubby was working in NYC....At that time you didn't have to have a college degree...He didn't need it....He was the new one when
he started learning....the new language...He took home books every night and learned all by himself...He didn't have time to go to college.
The company took him cause he was smart....There is more of the story....He is retired and now had many surgeries...
Open Heart Surgery and The Nasty, CANCER....
 

grahamg

Senior Member
Original Poster
Nope no resemblance. I'm in the same boat. Dark complexion. My son was born fair skin with red hair. Definitely the mother's side of the family. My mother was very blunt when I asked her if he looked like me. She said "only in the pee pee".;)
"Harsh but fair" or simply "no judge"?

I think it is certainly true to say so many traits from the maternal side predominate, though not hair colour, (my ex.'s hair was very dark). I consider myself a fairly good judge when it comes to likenesses of other people's children to their parents, but find it hard to judge my own child's likeness or otherwise. The fair hair comes from my mother though, as none of the other grandparents had fair hair, and her maternal grandmother was going moderately bald by fifty too, so my daughter will have to hope she doesn't inherit that characteristic). 👱👩‍🦰👩‍🌾 .
 

Camper6

Well-known Member
"Harsh but fair" or simply "no judge"?

I think it is certainly true to say so many traits from the maternal side predominate, though not hair colour, (my ex.'s hair was very dark). I consider myself a fairly good judge when it comes to likenesses of other people's children to their parents, but find it hard to judge my own child's likeness or otherwise. The fair hair comes from my mother though, as none of the other grandparents had fair hair, and her maternal grandmother was going moderately bald by fifty too, so my daughter will have to hope she doesn't inherit that characteristic). 👱👩‍🦰👩‍🌾 .
Baldness is definitely an inherited trait. I still have all my hair. My son is bald. I remember the maternal side of the grandmother wearing a wig.
 
Baldness is definitely an inherited trait. I still have all my hair. My son is bald. I remember the maternal side of the grandmother wearing a wig.
What about baldness that doesn't occur naturally?
I'm guessing that would be different?

(Thinking of a distant relative who started losing his hair because, when he heard popular musicians 'bleached' their hair, he decided to try it- using Clorox...)
 

Camper6

Well-known Member
What about baldness that doesn't occur naturally?
I'm guessing that would be different?

(Thinking of a distant relative who started losing his hair because, when he heard popular musicians 'bleached' their hair, he decided to try it- using Clorox...)
Bleach is pretty powerful stuff. Probably killed the roots. I doubt popular musicians used Clorox.
Probably had it done by professional stylists.
 

grahamg

Senior Member
Original Poster
Oh, I'm sure the musicians took the sensible approach... but this guy wasn't too bright... resulting in a receding hairline while still in high school.
"Returning to my theory", posted some way back, being smarter than the average must by definition almost, confer benefits to the individuals involved, so why are there so many stupid people like me in the world?

Why has not however many generations there's been going back to Adam and Eve, (or early hominids?), resulted in only smart people being around? What evolutionary advantage is conferred on us stupid people, " keeping us in the game"?

My theory is that us rather slow people, nonetheless provide our child with a greater chance to shine, because they're not having to try too hard to match up to us thickies! We're maybe more tolerant when they make the inevitable mistakes young people make as they learn, whilst ultra clever parents find it harder to accept their children's errors, or errant ways. I used to think any mildly negative things my daughter did or said, were her "going through a phase", and I still hold that's a good approach to child rearing, when they won't behave, (or want to wind you up somehow). :unsure: .
 

Warrigal

SF VIP
Why do you put yourself down, Graham?
Academic smarts are not the only indicators of intelligence.

My daughter was fairly average at school and her brother was quite gifted in the mathematical/logical intelligence subjects. However, daughter was seen as gifted in the social/emotional area. She went on to be a nurse, and son became a computer programmer/systems analyst with a Masters in web design. He became a manager, drank too much, left his wife and contemplated suicide.

Daughter has been a rock to her family, raised 4 kids, one intellectually disabled, one extremely intelligent and two pretty normal young ladies, one now a mother, the other has a Masters in Music Therapy but she is still hopeless at maths.

Daughter is now NUM of a facial/dental surgical unit at a major hospital in Sydney while son bums around in a country town as a maintenance man fixing computers and computerised equipment at a country hospital. Both are happy in their work and in their lives, so what actually is intelligence? It doesn't guarantee happiness any more than beauty does.

Believe me when I tell you that you are intelligent in your own way, just as I am in mine.
 

grahamg

Senior Member
Original Poster
Why do you put yourself down, Graham?
Academic smarts are not the only indicators of intelligence.

My daughter was fairly average at school and her brother was quite gifted in the mathematical/logical intelligence subjects. However, daughter was seen as gifted in the social/emotional area. She went on to be a nurse, and son became a computer programmer/systems analyst with a Masters in web design. He became a manager, drank too much, left his wife and contemplated suicide.

Daughter has been a rock to her family, raised 4 kids, one intellectually disabled, one extremely intelligent and two pretty normal young ladies, one now a mother, the other has a Masters in Music Therapy but she is still hopeless at maths.

Daughter is now NUM of a facial/dental surgical unit at a major hospital in Sydney while son bums around in a country town as a maintenance man fixing computers and computerised equipment at a country hospital. Both are happy in their work and in their lives, so what actually is intelligence? It doesn't guarantee happiness any more than beauty does.

Believe me when I tell you that you are intelligent in your own way, just as I am in mine.
I think you may have missed this comment made in my second post in the thread, quote:"..maybe I've aped up the dumb thing a tad, cos I'm quite hot on intelligence tests, (if they mean all that much),......."

In addition I do seriously believe, that compared to my daughter the differences are stark, so its perhaps fair for me to "ape up the dumb thing", as I so inelegantly put it, and it frees my arm to bring up my broader thoughts about the types of people we're drawn to, and why they might choose to have s child with us, which is equally intriguing! :unsure: .
BTW you obviously fit into the smart parent/smart child category, and I'm not arguing there aren't many of those too.
 

grahamg

Senior Member
Original Poster
Some expert opinion:

https://www.ft.com/content/ddc45bbe-4ac4-11e7-a3f4-c742b9791d43

"High-achieving couples are often puzzled when they have one smart offspring and others who are less so. They ponder the question, our children all have our (superior) genes, we brought them all up the same way, how come Samantha and Boris are so much less intelligent than Julia? This reasoning has two flaws

It is obvious why, when you stop to think about it. Mothers or fathers do not give equal amounts of love in the early years. How parents relate to the birth order and gender of each child also has a big effect. Each child lives in a micro-environment with very different requirements. In seeking niches that attract material and loving parental attention, they work hard to differentiate themselves as being clever or loveable, even stupid (being unthreatening can be a safe niche)."

Break
"For instance, with four children under five, of which I was the third, my mother could be pretty ratty. But, most importantly, I was the only boy. Purely because of being male, my father related quite differently to me than he did with my sisters, and had far higher academic aspirations for me. This is not to say that biology plays no part in individual differences. What happens during the pregnancy can be important. Premature birth, low birth weight and birth complications also increase risk for childhood problems.

This is not to say that biology plays no part in individual differences. What happens during the pregnancy can be important. Premature birth, low birth weight and birth complications also increase risk for childhood problems."
 


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